Scott truly heard his voice for the first time. And our commitment to you is to help you hear yours, as well. Through the 5 Voices process you will gain an understanding of your voice, your role, and your influence in a completely new manner. We hope that reading this book will give you the opportunity to understand the way you were wired from the very beginning and that you will find this incredibly helpful in every aspect of your life.
The Other Side of Your Voice
Do you know what it is like to be on the other side of you in a group setting? Are you aware of your tendencies and how you process information and share it? How do others tend to hear you or respond to you?
Some of us have a low speaking voice, while others have a higher pitched voice. Some of us are loud, and others are naturally quieter. It is just the way we were born. The question is, what does it feel like to be on the other side of your voice? And do you understand the power of your voice for good or ill?
The way your actual voice works is amazing. Think about this for a moment: Your vocal chords, similar to a flute, shape the air that passes through them to become an understandable sound. Your brain connects to that sound to produce words that we all understand. Amazing. In the same way that we have a physical voice, we also have a personality or leadership voice that becomes our trademark role inside organizations, families, and friendships. Through years of research and testing, we have found that there are five foundational voices that shape the daily interactions of our lives. When each individual understands what his or her voice sounds like, then they have the chance to communicate more effectively and create environments where voices that are different from their own can be truly valued and heard.
The 5 Voices are the Pioneer, the Connector, the Guardian, the Creative, and the Nurturer. By the time you have finished this book you will know which is your foundational voice and have learned to truly appreciate the contribution each of the other voices brings. You will also understand how your history and life experiences (your “nurture”), as well as your life choices, have shaped the way your voice is heard by others.
Understanding the Code
Each of us has the ability to speak and understand all of the voices and yet, in our nature, there is always one preferred voice that is easiest for us to speak and understand. We call this our foundational voice. Some of the other voices come easily to us and are readily recognizable in the way we communicate. However, there are always one or two voices that are far harder for us to value and access. Knowing your voice order is crucial, and we will spend time later in this book assessing and understanding how to leverage and manage our voice and the voices of others.
The 5 Voices are a codebook that deciphers messages from others. Without the right cypher you will never be able to understand the intent of the original message. Our default is to interpret all communication through our own cypher (or foundational voice), which tends to be wrong a considerable amount of the time. Similarly, when we speak, we assume everyone has our codebook to interpret what we are trying to communicate. The 5 Voices, then, becomes the shared codebook that allows us to truly interpret and understand what others are trying to share, as well as to be understood ourselves.
Most relational drama and conflict comes from misunderstandings or miscommunication. When a group of people, be that in a home or workplace, is able to harness the power of the 5 Voices, tension, drama, and frustration will decrease. The 5 Voices are a common leadership language that will increase team alignment and synergy, meaning that everyone is able to relax and bring their best. You can observe how the process works in this story from Mani Joseph, a health care executive in Scotland:
The revelatory experience for me came in accepting who I was and how I had been wired – in many ways taking the time to really get to know myself so I could begin to lead myself, to lead others, and to lead my organization. The 5 Voices showed me the patterns and trends in my past behavior, which has made it easier to take time to plan future decisions, to understand what makes me tick, and to identify those voices I respond to best as well as those that I find challenging. Identifying as a foundational voice Connector with strong Pioneer/Creative gave me legitimacy and confidence to be myself and to work on more fully understanding the contributions of Nurturers and Guardians. I am leading with renewed confidence and the team is far better placed to tackle the challenges that lie ahead.
This is what we believe will take place with you, as we first focus on you and your personal leadership journey and then the others in your life. It is vital for you to first know and understand your own voice before you begin to speculate on what others' voices might be. We cannot give what we do not possess, so together let's commit to knowing our own voice and ourselves first. Once we have done that, we can confidently and competently help others discover their own voices, and then a world of opportunity is created.
Here's one more example of the transformational experience that is possible for you. It's a story from a leader in Romania who has been implementing the 5 Voices into the IT company where she works. Marina Uliniuc shares this:
I have to admit that the first time I interacted with the 5 Voices I was a bit suspicious; was this another box I was about to be put into? However, while some of the learning has been painful, I have learned to value those around me in a completely new way. My biggest aha was when I discovered that my tendency to ask critical questions was not always appreciated! I have started to work on my active listening, learning to draw out people's true feelings. The relational dynamics of our team have been hugely impacted by the 5 Voices; I now try to communicate enthusiasm and empathy, which I discovered they all love! This might seem common sense for a foundational voice Connector, but for the way I'm wired, as a Guardian, this was pure gold.
The 5 Voices is the code that unlocks the capacity to have honest conversations and build deeper and more authentic relationships by first understanding your own voice. It will impact your teams and your families and friends only as it first impacts you.
The 5 Voices offers a competitive advantage for leaders who are able to harness its power. It doesn't matter how good your strategy is or how amazing the credentials of the people on your team. If they don't understand each other's voice and what they bring at their best, then there will always be misunderstanding, competition, and passive aggression. The 5 Voices is the code that will unlock the full capacity of your family and team. You will be able to have the honest conversations and thereby build deeper and more authentic relationships.
Whatever the reality of your current team, the 5 Voices will make you better. Knowing your own voice and how to communicate and connect with all of the other voices will take your capacity for influence and impact to the next level.
Let's now begin to understand how the 5 Voices work.
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HOW THE 5 VOICES WORK
There is a better way to live and to lead and to communicate. Millions of people go to their jobs with dread every day, frustrated by the other voices around them, whether it's their bosses' or their coworkers' or their clients'. Drama is mixed with inconsistent leadership and lethargy to produce a toxic work environment within the masses of teams across the world. This is what most of the world experiences.
Wouldn't it be helpful if people could begin to understand themselves and direct themselves to a more productive way of leading and living? I can hear you exclaiming now, “Absolutely, if only my boss would…” Let me stop you for a second and just say that it starts with you. Self-awareness creates a ripple effect as one person's positive change affects another and that person's change impacts another and so on.
Just imagine if each one of us became a master of our own voice and role and began to speak with secure, confident humility. We would have people lining up to follow us – even our kids!
The truth is that we each have a voice, and our voice can be loud and troublesome or it can be bold and helpful. We all appreciate the latter. Others of us have quiet and insecure voices, while still others have quiet and secure voices. Again, most of us would probably prefer the latter.
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