SHALLOW
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
EVANS
It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
SHALLOW
Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
EVANS
It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
EVANS
It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed — Got deliver to a joyful resurrections! — give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
SHALLOW
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
EVANS
Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
SHALLOW
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks.]
What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
PAGE
[Within] Who’s there?
EVANS
Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
[Enter PAGE.]
PAGE
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page? — and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.
PAGE
Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE
It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER
You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
SHALLOW
That he will not: ‘tis your fault; ‘tis your fault. ‘Tis a good dog.
PAGE
A cur, sir.
SHALLOW
Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
PAGE
Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
EVANS
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW
He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE
Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW
If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath; — at a word, he hath, — believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wronged.
PAGE
Here comes Sir John.
[Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.]
FALSTAFF
Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the King?
SHALLOW
Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF
But not kiss’d your keeper’s daughter?
SHALLOW
Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
FALSTAFF
I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.
SHALLOW
The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF
‘Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you’ll be laughed at.
EVANS
Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
FALSTAFF
Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?
SLENDER
Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
BARDOLPH
You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER
Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL
How now, Mephostophilus!
SLENDER
Ay, it is no matter.
NYM
Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That’s my humour.
SLENDER
Where’s Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
EVANS
Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is — Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
PAGE
We three to hear it and end it between them.
EVANS
Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF
Pistol!
PISTOL
He hears with ears.