“Fine. You were pensive. Want to tell me why?”
She bit down on her lower lip and wondered if she had the courage to be honest. Or at least semihonest. “I was wondering about the other women in your life.”
The eyebrows went a little higher and he leaned back in his chair. “I take it the calculus homework isn’t challenging enough to keep your brain occupied.”
“Not tonight.”
“And the most interesting topic you could come up with was the women in my life?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You need to get out more.”
She laughed. “Come on, Dev. We’re married. You can tell me.”
“One might think telling one’s wife was exactly the wrong thing to do. Besides, there aren’t any other women. I told you I would be faithful.”
A fact she was appreciating more and more. “I didn’t mean now,” she told him. “I meant before. There was only one serious relationship in my life and you know all about him. I think it’s only fair to share information.”
“Of course you do.” He frowned. “I knew Jimmy was your first time, but do you also consider him your first serious relationship?”
She thought about the question. “I think so. There were guys I liked and dated. I actually went out a lot in high school. But I never really fell in love. I think a lot of it was the guys I dated knew my dad and were concerned about doing the wrong thing. I was always aware of being the preacher’s daughter, as well. So I would kind of hold back and I think the guys did, too. So I guess that makes Jimmy my first serious relationship.”
And she hadn’t even been in love with him, she thought sadly. What did that say about her decisionmaking skills?
“How did you and Jimmy meet?” Dev asked.
“He was visiting work for some reason. I was in the lunch room and he walked in. We just started talking.” She thought about that first day. Jimmy had been good-looking, funny and, in some ways, more grown-up than the guys she was used to. “He didn’t know anything about me, which I liked. He asked me out and I said yes.”
Dev nodded slowly. “Jimmy always was a charmer with the ladies.”
She wrinkled her nose. “You’re saying I was one of many.”
“As far as I know, you’re the only one he talked about marrying.”
She nodded, as if the statement had significance. She wanted to believe it was true but…“Dev, is it possible he just said that to get me to sleep with him?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been wondering. Jimmy was a great guy, but until he decided to go into the military, he seemed scattered. He had a million ideas about what he wanted to do, but none of them made sense. He wasn’t a doer, really.” She paused. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about him this way with you.”
“It’s fine. I’m aware of Jimmy’s faults.” He picked up a pen, then put it back on his desk. “You’re right. He was a dreamer.”
She noticed he didn’t answer her question—as to whether it was possible that Jimmy had just said he wanted to marry her to get her into bed. If he’d believed Jimmy really cared, he would have said so. Was he trying to protect his brother’s reputation or her?
Knowing Dev as she did, she thought it might be both. Maybe she should just go with that and not try to second guess the past. There was no way of knowing now.
“You never told me about the other women in your life, although changing the subject to Jimmy was a neat trick.”
“You like that? I could do it again.” He shifted in his seat. “What do you want to know? There’s nothing much to tell. I was a single guy who dated.”
“There’s more to it than that,” she said. “They were all beautiful.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. I saw a couple myself and Katherine told me.”
He groaned. “Great. My own staff turns on me.”
“We consider your personal life a hobby. You should be flattered.”
“Amazingly, I’m not.” He looked at her. “What else did she say?”
Noelle pretended to study her nails. “Nothing really. But we found it fascinating that you always chose exotic beauties. No milkmaids for you.”
He laughed. “Milkmaids?”
“You know—traditional looking. Blond hair, blue eyes.”
“Like you.”
She shrugged. “I could fall into the milkmaid category.”
“So you’d believe me if I told you that I thought you were beautiful, but you’d draw the line at exotic?”
He thought she was beautiful? Noelle wanted to stand up and cheer. Except he hadn’t said that, exactly. There’d been an “if” in that sentence.
“I’m no one’s definition of exotic,” she said. “I can live with that. So about these women.”
He closed his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re seriously interested in them. So why don’t you ask what you really want to know?”
Hmmm, there was a concept. She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and blurted out, “What do you know that Jimmy didn’t? About sex, I mean.”
Dev had braced himself, but even so, the question caught him like a shot. He felt emotionally flung back in his seat and left for dead. Couldn’t she have just asked to buy new bedroom furniture?
He swore silently. This was not a conversation they should be having. He had an entire list of reasons as to why not. The most pressing was that he’d spent the last week doing his damnedest to avoid any remotely personal contact with Noelle. He’d been interested before, but kissing her had shown him there were plenty of possibilities and now they were driving him crazy.
He wanted her. He’d wanted other women before and kept trying to tell himself this was an itch that would fade with time. But whenever he got the need under control, he found himself catching sight of the curve of her cheek or the back of her thighs as she pranced around the house in shorts.
Worse, sometimes she got him by just talking. She would spout an opinion on some world event that surprised him, not only with her view, but with the facts she had to back it up. He’d caught her reading a science magazine two days after she’d admitting to having a weakness for celebrity gossip tabloids. How was he not supposed to adore that?
“You’re stalling,” she said.
“I’m considering my options.”
“Why is the question so difficult? It’s just information.”
He shook his head. “It’s more than that and you know it.” What to say? “What I know that Jimmy didn’t isn’t important. Just a few details.”
“Life is in the details,” she told him. “What are you afraid of?”
Going where he shouldn’t, he thought grimly. Wanting too much.
She glanced at the carpet, then back at him. “Dev, we’re married and we plan on staying married for the next two years. That’s kind of a long time. I know you had a…physical relationship with the other women in your life. It’s a natural part of life. While I appreciate your promise to be faithful for the time we’re married, I think you’re setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary suffering.”