“That’s not true,” she argued. There was no way.
“Do you think it was easy for me to come here?” he asked. “I battled this for a week, but damn it, I want you to come back to my house. Just come for the day and I’ll drive you back.”
Alexa laughed. “This is absurd, Hayes. You’re getting caught up in a moment that passed.”
In a lightning-flash move, he snaked an arm around her waist and hauled her free side against him. “The moment didn’t pass. I still want you. I’ve been through hell, and when I see something or someone that will bring a semblance of happiness, I’m going to take it.”
Oh, mercy, she wanted him, too. The fierce need she had a week ago had only grown and now he was here and touching her, looking at her with the same hunger as he’d had when they’d been stranded and naked.
“Bring Mason. We’ll ride horses.”
Alexa closed her eyes. He’d put himself out there and come to her. He’d shoved aside his fear of leaving the ranch. He was inviting her son to ride horses, which he’d never done, and he wasn’t even close to backing down.
“Fine,” she whispered. “We’ll come. But I’m driving myself and I’m not spending the night.”
Hayes ran his lips along her jawline. “We’ll see.”
The shiver raced through her and Alexa vowed to herself not to sleep with Hayes again. Not with the secret she carried. Maybe one day, when he healed and they were friends?
No, not even then. Someone like Hayes would see sleeping with his late buddy’s wife as a betrayal. He could never know.
“You were pretty sure of yourself.”
Hayes stepped into the stable by his house and threw a glance over his shoulder to Alexa. “I had the stable hands bring them up. If you hadn’t come, the horses still could’ve stayed here.”
He was a damn fool for bringing her back here, but it felt right. She felt right to have here. Not that he was thinking long-term or a commitment, but damn it, he was at a point in his life that if any happiness came his way, he was going to grab hold with both hands and to hell with the consequences.
He could even accept the bond he was forming with her kid.
Right now, he was going to take a ride with Alexa and Mason. The little guy was too adorable and when he’d reached out for Hayes earlier, he hadn’t hesitated to take him. Children were so innocent, so loving, and that was something he’d quickly discovered when he’d gotten home. His nieces and nephew had calmed him and kept him grounded and sane at times. Having Mason here with Alexa, damn it...there was something a little too familial about it, but he hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d missed her.
And he hated that underlying vulnerability and loathed even more that she’d witnessed it.
“I’m still not comfortable around horses,” Alexa commented. “So how should we do this? Maybe just set Mason on the saddle and let him pet the horse?”
Hayes slid open a stall and shook his head. “Nah. He can ride with me on Doc and you can take Jumper. We’ll stay right around here so you’re comfortable.”
He tossed a thick blanket on Jumper’s back and grabbed a saddle from the wall. Alexa’s silence had him risking a glance her way. She chewed on her bottom lip as she held tight to her still-sleeping son. Apparently the kid could sleep through anything.
Hayes had held him while Alexa had changed earlier. He hadn’t been opposed to the little shorts and tank she sported, but her jeans and T-shirt would be a better option for riding.
“I’ll hold on to him,” he assured her. “We’ll go slow and he’ll be just fine.”
She smoothed Mason’s black hair across his forehead and nodded. The kid looked exactly like her with that dark skin and coal-like hair. Even his eyes were dark as midnight. And her love for her son was so evident. Hayes knew she’d do anything to protect him. That family bond and loyalty ran deep in him too, so he knew full well how much Mason meant to Alexa. They were all each other had left.
“I want to talk to you about something.”
Her eyes darted to his as she lifted her brows. Mason stirred in her arms and she patted his back. “What’s that?”
After securing the saddle, Hayes rubbed the back of his neck. “I have a thing I need to go to in a couple weeks and I need a date.”
Why did he feel like a fool in high school asking out the homecoming queen? Probably because he’d never asked out the homecoming queen. He’d simply hopped in the bed of his truck after the game and flipped up her dress and lost his virginity. So...yeah, this was quite different, but he still hated the uncertainty.
No, he actually hated the whole ordeal he’d been faced with and the ceremony coming up. It was absurd, useless, and he was the least deserving person to be honored.
“I received a phone call from the governor a couple weeks ago.”
“What?” Alexa stepped forward, her eyes wide. “The governor called you? You just throw that out like it’s not a big deal.”
He shrugged and eased Jumper from her stall. “It’s not. I mean, they want to have a dinner and present some award for my service and sacrifice. It’s completely unnecessary, but it’s in two weeks and I want you to go with me.”
Mason continued to stir until he popped his head up with a yawn. He glanced around, his attention landing on Jumper and the little guy immediately started clapping.
“I’d say he’s ready for his first ride,” Hayes stated. He lifted the rein and hung it on the hook outside the stall before moving to the next one with Doc. “Give me one second and I’ll get my horse ready, then I can help you onto yours.”
“I don’t need help,” she stated. “Can you get back to the governor and why I need to be your date?”
He quickly blanketed and saddled Doc. “I’d rather move on and we just agree I’ll pick you up two weeks from yesterday at six. I guess I’ll wear my uniform, so you’ll probably want to wear a fancier dress.”
“I don’t—”
“Have one?” he asked, tossing her a glance. “I’ve already called in some favors and they’re being delivered. Keep whatever you want. Keep one, keep them all. I don’t care.”
Hayes led Doc out and hooked his reins, as well. He patted the side of the stallion’s neck, smoothing out the coarse mane.
“Would you slow down for a second?” she demanded.
Blowing out a sigh, he turned to face her. “Listen, I don’t want to go. The award is absurd and the last thing I need is recognition. I didn’t do anything overseas that any of my fellow soldiers wouldn’t have done. I just happened to survive. I don’t want to go, but I sure as hell don’t want to go alone, because...”
Softening her facial expression, Alexa stepped forward and reached for his hand. “Because you don’t like going anywhere?”
Shame and guilt slithered through him. “So you’ll go?”
The silence settled between them. Mason lifted his hands toward Jumper and Hayes slid the boy from Alexa’s arms.
“Right here,” he told Mason, taking his little hand and laying it on the velvety part of Jumper’s nose. “Soft.”
He’d much rather focus on the horses, on introducing Mason to his first ride. There was something so magical about getting on the back of a horse and setting out for nowhere.