‘Exactly,’ Ethan said. ‘So we shan’t be disturbed.’
They walked into her office where Penny had things all set up and, she noted, he actually thought to lock the door. ‘Is this what you were doing when I knocked for you to come for a drink with Gordon?’
Penny nodded.
‘You really never know what goes on behind closed doors.’ He gave her a smile and then, ever the doctor, he checked the vials and the use-by dates.
‘I’ve already checked everything.’
‘Good for you,’ Ethan said, refusing to be rushed and taking the time to make sure, but it was all too much for Penny. It was bad enough that she was having a needle, but with Jasmine gone and everything it was just a whole lot worse. Seeing Ethan pick up the syringe, Penny started to cry, and not as she had before. This was, Ethan realised, the sound of real fear.
‘Okay.’ He kept his voice practical, he was just going to go in and get this over and done with.
‘No!’ Penny shouted. She had worked herself up to try and stay calm. She could think of nothing worse then Ethan seeing her in such a terrible state and having to face him again, but her resolve had completely broken when she’d seen him pick up the injection. The last thing on Penny’s mind was the result and the possibility of a baby; she just wanted to get out of there.
‘No.’ She said it again as he walked over with the kidney dish. ‘Ethan, no, I’ve changed my mind.’
‘Tough.’
Even as Penny said no, she was trying to undo her skirt and failing, and then when Ethan stepped in she tried to brush off his hands but failed at that too.
‘Ethan, please!’ Penny was doing her best not to sob and make a complete fool of herself. He put the kidney dish down on the desk behind her, his hands finding the side zip of her skirt. He pushed her against the desk and held her in place with one hip as he pulled her skirt down a little bit and reached for the alcohol swab on the desk behind him. Then Ethan turned her, resisting and crying, around and she felt the coldness of the alcohol on the top of her buttock. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ Penny shouted. ‘It’s sub-cut, you idiot …’
He turned her quickly to face him and before she even knew it, Ethan had swabbed her stomach and the needle was in.
‘I know.’ Ethan smiled, massaging the injection site with one hand as he threw the needle into the kidney dish with the other. ‘That’s called a distraction technique, in case you were wondering.’
Only the distraction had been for him—the image of coral-coloured silk knickers and just a glimpse of the top of her bottom were branded in his mind. Now he was looking down at her lovely pale stomach as he massaged the injection in, and he saw the dots of bruises and his fingers wanted to wander there too. More than that he knew she was watching his fingers, knew he should stop now, or that she could take over, but they both just stood very close, looking down. And he actually wondered if it was wrong just how turned on he was now and, no, he did not want to fancy her.
It had been a hell of a day, a completely wretched day, and he blamed it on the funeral as he lingered a little too long. And Penny looked at his mouth and blamed it all on the hormones she was taking, because she was holding back from kissing him.
‘Okay!’ It was Ethan who took control, whose mind sort of jolted and alerted him to the fact that the woman he was very close to kissing, the woman he was hard for now, was very actively trying to get pregnant.
‘You’re done,’ Ethan said. He picked up the kidney dish, turned his back and made a big deal about tipping the contents into the sharps dispenser.
She was a close colleague too, Ethan told himself. And an absolute cow to work with, he reminded himself a few times—except he knew why now.
No, he did not want to fancy Penny.
As Penny did up her zipper and smoothed down her blouse she was not sure what, if anything, had happened just then. She was embarrassed at her tears, of course, but there was something else swirling in the room with them, an energy that must not be acknowledged.
‘Thank you.’
‘No problem,’ Ethan clipped. ‘Same time tomorrow, then?’
‘Please,’ Penny said. ‘I mean, yes.’
ETHAN WAS ACTUALLY on a day off the next day.
He woke late, saw the black suit over the chair and tried not to think about yesterday.
Tried not to, because it had been a day of hellish emotion and it seemed impossible to think that Justin would be back at school today and the world was moving on, but not for some.
The transplant co-ordinator had been called up for the head injury patient, Heath, later in the evening, he had heard. Ethan had seen the boy’s parents sobbing outside the ambulance bay on his way home.
Waking up to grief was a lot like waking up with a hangover, Ethan decided as he pieced together the previous day and braced himself to face the upcoming one. He lay there, eyes closed, trying to summon up the energy to move, to get on with his day. He should maybe ring his aunt and uncle, Ethan thought, see how they were, but he couldn’t stomach it. Or ring his sister and find out how the rest of the wake had been.
Except he just wanted to be alone, just as he had wanted to be alone last night. He hadn’t been able to face a bar. Even Kelly, a friend, who was more than a friend sometimes, had called, and knowing how tough the day would have been had suggested coming over.
He hadn’t wanted that either.
He could go and do something, maybe a long drive down to the Ocean Road, just stay a night in Torquay or Lorne perhaps, watch the waves, get away, except, just as he thought he had a plan Ethan remembered he had to be at the hospital at six to give Penny her injection.
Penny.
Ethan blew out a breath as he recalled the near miss last night.
What the hell had he been thinking? Or rather, he hadn’t been thinking in the least.
Still, he kept getting glimpses of coral underwear flashing before his eyes throughout the day.
He’d expected flesh coloured.
Not that he’d thought about it.
But had he thought about it, then flesh coloured it would be.
Sensible, seamless, Ethan decided as he drove to the hospital. Not that she’d need a bra.
Not that he’d noticed.
Ethan pulled into his parking spot and tried to go back, tried to rewind the clock to a few days ago, when he hadn’t remotely thought of her in that way. When she had just been a sour-faced colleague who was difficult to work with, one who hadn’t turned round and bewitched him with a smile.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rex asked as Ethan walked through the department, for once out of scrubs and dressed in black jeans and a black top.
‘I need to take some work home. Is it just you on?’ Ethan asked casually.
‘Nope,’ Rex said. ‘Penny’s on.’ He pulled a poker face. ‘She’s just taking a break.’
Ethan knew that because he’d texted her to say that he was here, but he didn’t want anyone getting even a hint so he stood and chatted with Rex a moment before heading to Penny’s office.
‘Sorry to mess up your day off.’
He checked the dose again, and she undid her zipper and just stared at the door as she lowered