We meet up at Starbucks and I’m running late, so Sheena is already in the queue when I arrive. We grab our lattes and manage to find a small corner table.
“What’s up?” She eyes me suspiciously, probably assuming I’ve had one of my psychic episodes.
“There’s been a development.” I feel a little awkward, not knowing where to start.
“Spill the beans.” She slips off her coat and leans across to give me a big hug. The instant we touch it’s like someone freezes the frame: that one moment appears to have stalled both time and movement. The seconds tick by and yet nothing moves. I break away, feeling as if someone has knocked the wind out of me.
Then I see her.
Kelly is here, as if she hadn’t died four years ago and is joining us for coffee today. Sheena is busy folding her coat and trying to find space under the table to accommodate her over-sized bag. In that split second I understand. Kelly has always been around Sheena, I just couldn’t see her before. She’s one of Sheena’s guardian angels. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts as Sheena peers across the table at me.
“What’s up? You look like someone just walked over your grave.” Her voice snaps me back. I have to pull myself together.
“I’m coming down with something. I have a really sore throat…” the words die in my mouth as it becomes dry with anxiety. Kelly is standing a mere two feet away and appears as real as any of the other people in the café. In fact, that isn’t quite right. She appears more real and they are simply a paler backdrop.
“Poor you, I hope it isn’t so bad that you can’t tell me all your latest news.” Sheena adds sugar to her coffee, totally oblivious to the fact that Kelly is with us and for the first time in four years our little trio is reunited. I want to reach out and touch Kelly, to convince myself she’s real and yet I know she’s only here in spirit. Presenting to me, I swear, dressed as she was the last time I saw her. That was before the leukaemia had weakened her body and begun to claim her life. Tears gather in my eyes and Sheena is now staring at me.
“Ceri, what’s wrong?”
Should I tell her about Kelly? Accepting my gift is one thing; understanding that everyone has a link with the other side is another. I don’t want to frighten her.
“Alex is back in my life.” I’d intended to tell her anyway and I only hope she thinks the tears are because I’m emotional.
“Well, I’m not surprised exactly, although the guy really hurt you. I’ve never known you to run away from any situation before, but the way he talked to you was unforgiveable. Is it going to be a permanent thing?” Her concern is tangible; she’s looking out for my interests and thinks Alex might hurt me again. Kelly hasn’t moved: her image isn’t quite so sharp now but it’s comforting to know she’s there, listening.
“I think so. He stayed last night. He wants me to tell him about what happened while we were apart, hoping we can move on. I convinced him he has nothing to worry about and that we can be together.”
“Then what’s worrying you?” Sheena looks at life in a black and white way and I’m not sure she’ll understand.
“What if I’m wrong?”
“Well, you’ve known him for a little over two years. Considering you were so convinced he wasn’t into women at all, I think that says he isn’t fickle. I doubt many men would stand by nursing a broken heart and sitting alongside the one they love at work day in, day out. I’d say he has commitment, although I’m puzzled by the things he said to you when he lashed out. It struck me as a little out of character at the time.”
“I don’t mean I’m concerned about his motives. What about mine?”
Sheena raises her eyebrows.
“What have I missed? When you joined me in France to get away from everything you never mentioned ulterior motives. I know you Ceri, you don’t play with people. You love him. Hook, line and sinker.” She shrugs, obviously puzzled.
“But what if,” I look around and lower my voice, conscious too that Kelly hasn’t moved, “I’m using him. He’s the first guy I’ve found that didn’t back off the moment he found out that I see spirits. Quite the reverse, he’s been a tower of strength. He had a mild interest in the subject, as many do, but after I left he read a book I gave him and then met up with the author.”
“Really? Well, doesn’t that prove he has your best interests at heart? That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“But the guy he saw said we shouldn’t be together. He’s a medium and spiritual teacher; I’ve read most of his books. Remember I told you that Alex was holding back because he kept having this dream about me? It seemed to be warning him to keep his distance, but also encouraging him to help me. Every time he drew close to me on an emotional level, his dream showed something bad happening to me. Ethan channelled a message and he told Alex we aren’t meant to be together. I’m not Alex’s life-partner.”
I can’t be any clearer and Sheena sits back, slightly open-mouthed.
“Rubbish, we make our own destiny.” She looks a little annoyed. “Okay, I accept you see the other side but come on Ceri, a dream is just a dream. If it’s repetitive then surely it’s a hang up he has or some old memory about something unpleasant coming back to him. I doubt an hour goes by without you being in his thoughts, so they become tangled. Goodness, I dreamt about that guy from the latest James Bond movie last night, although that could be classed as more of a fantasy I suppose.” Her gaze moves around the room and I wonder if she can see or sense that Kelly is here. She’s never mentioned anything and I’m pretty sure I’d be the first one Sheena would consult.
“I feel like I’m trapping him. And what if we commit and then it falls apart?”
“Welcome to the real world. I live it each day,” she mutters. “Look, I’ve spent my entire adult life looking for Mr Right and there have been a lot of Mr Wrongs. He’s a dish, Ceri, he says he loves you and you believe him. I know how you feel about him, so for goodness sake lighten up. Stop looking for reasons not to commit, you’ll make me think this is really about you being scared of having a real, meaningful relationship.”
We move on to talk about Sheena’s time in Germany and the next project on the horizon. She’s been asked to accompany a business man on a buying trip to Italy. He’s in the antiques trade and he’s mega rich and, allegedly – her words, very handsome and dazzling company. I asked how she could possibly know that and she said she read all about him in one of the latest celebrity gossip magazines.
“Are you sure this is a translation job and not an escort service?” I can’t help myself laughing and then I notice that Kelly has disappeared. I stop mid-laugh and stare at the empty space.
“I probably shouldn’t ask, but are you having one of your psychic moments?” Sheena’s voice breaks into my thoughts.
“No, I just realised something about myself, that’s all,” I hedge. I can feel that Kelly is happy to be around Sheena to help and there is no need for any explanation of the role she’s playing in her life. I send her a virtual hug, knowing that she’ll feel it and appreciate our ethereal link.
“Well, stop being a drag and looking for the down side of everything. It’s a trend you seem to be following more and more these days. Let Alex brighten up your life and go for it, lady!”
It hit me that the moment Sheena and I hugged, I could see with a clarity I didn’t have before. Kelly has obviously always been around her. But when I’m close to Alex I can’t sense anything. I can see his aura, his energy and the goodness in him, but whatever links he has to the ethereal plane are hidden from me. Is that what mortal loves does? Invoke some invisible wall through which the