“Ceri?”
A voice floats into my mind, bringing me back into consciousness.
“You are still in transition. The part of you that remains on earth will restrict your consciousness. Your energy is split and will remain so until you are recalled permanently. I will always be with you, until you are fully back with us. The human element sometimes hampers our communication, but I’m by your side every step of the way.”
I fleetingly remember the sensation of this presence, the energy who guides me. It is a feeling of wisdom and I have a desire to please him, to excel simply in order to bask in his approval.
“Have I done something wrong? It seems that way. I thought I’d forgotten, but now I remember. Is it to do with Alex?”
“Yes. We did not take the decision to let you touch the earth plane lightly. You are one of the splinters, and it is necessary for your development. You need to experience the emotions of the human plane if, when your time comes, your energy is going to be a part of renewing the force that controls everything. It isn’t easy and things do go wrong. However, we are confused. Alex is the soul we have chosen to help you move onto the next part of your work on earth. You are destined to channel messages. It is your role to help many on their earthly path towards an understanding of the true nature of spirituality. Without the comfort of those personal messages from their kindred energies here, they will be hampered. Human life is a constant struggle for all believers and this is a vital element linking the two planes.”
“I see. He was helping me, I think. I remember wavering, unsure what to believe. Is that normal for an angel’s earth life?”
“There is no norm, few angels visit earth. It isn’t necessary for their work. In your case, your experience will be enough to inform the kindred group when the time comes. There is only a need to feel those emotions that are peculiar to the earth plane and pass on that experience for understanding. That’s the whole point of human life: extremes. Love here is pure, as are our energies, but to truly understand the whole of creation it is necessary to experience how life develops. Every single thing that happens on the earth plane is very real to the beings experiencing it, although there is no lasting relevance as such. It is simply about learning. Alex is a lesser energy, very young, and a part of his fate is to provide sympathy and comfort while you adjust to your next step on earth. He is merely a spirit helper and will go on to complete his own destiny to allow his energy to grow. You cannot be together Ceri. He never will be on your vibration level. He is not a splinter.”
I feel elated, saddened, and chastised all at the same time. I want to make amends and prove that this was merely an aberration, a period of adjustment when I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. Will I be forgiven?
“There is no need for forgiveness Ceri,” his words fill my head. “Simply follow the path laid out.”
“What happens now?” I feel uncomfortable, unable to understand exactly how this works. A part of me wonders whether it will be as easy as following a path.
“Instead of only returning here when your earthly shell is in a resting state, we’ll adjust the amount of your energy that stays on the earth plane. You will continue to carry out your duties here permanently, but simply be less productive. A part of you will continue to see out your earthly experience until that is due to come to an end.”
“When will that be?”
“Another fifty-two earth years.”
“How will this affect my earthly person? If I’m not there in full strength, will I still be able to fulfil what is required of me? Won’t that hamper my ability to channel messages?” The concern I feel is unsettling.
“No, it will not lessen your psychic ability, as they refer to it on earth. But as you go about your work you will have an awareness of your ethereal existence. We regard this as a situation that isn’t ideal. You might be tempted to share things that are not meant to be known earth-side. The two planes are very different. Human life is a training ground. No more, no less. But it is necessary and it has a purpose. So we’re asking that you consider everything you do there from this point on with the benefit of your wider knowledge. Some of that will simply not make sense down there, Ceri, if you share it with a human.” Hearing him use my earthly name is strange. It’s out of place here.
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough…”
“No one can be sure of anything, until they try. We have ways of limiting damage, but this too is a part of your development. If you change things, then you will have to deal with the consequences. It’s time for you to go back now.”
As the voice floats out of my mind I remember Alex. Why didn’t I ask the question?
How long will Alex be in my life and when will I have to let him go?
“Hey, morning sleepy head.” Alex adjusts the duvet, snuggling it around me as I bring myself back. I do a double-take as his head seems to shimmer, his aura clearly visible to me now with my heightened awareness. There is a sense of purity around him and I can’t believe I couldn’t see that before. How did I not recognise he was a helper, a young energy in training?
“Good,” I try to sound calm.
Alex moves around the bedroom tidying things away before heading out the door. The energy radiating from his body resembles electric sparks.
“I’ll make some coffee,” he says over his shoulder as he disappears.
I pull myself up into a sitting position and slump back against the pillows. Oh my God! I really am still here, only it feels different.
The voice comes into my head. “Don’t worry, you are adjusting and things will settle down. Give it time.”
The silence in my head leaves a void which is quickly replaced by a stream of questions I can’t seem to stem. How long will it take? Will Alex notice a difference in me? What should I say to him? I realise I’m in danger of hyperventilating, my hands grabbing onto the duvet and making two fists, the tension radiating up my arms. I lie back, taking a few slow, deep breaths. I close my eyes. Outside I can hear the birds and the faint sound of traffic. Is this the same morning that I was called back to transition, or has time passed here on earth? How will I explain what has happened to Alex?
Suddenly I feel as if someone has placed an arm around my shoulders and there is a sensation of great warmth. I wonder if it’s going to lift me physically from the bed, it’s so intense, but the moment passes. I’m not alone and understanding that helps a little.
Alex returns, humming a tune under his breath. The moment he walks back into the room, two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands, his face breaks out into a radiant smile.
“The first day of the rest of our lives.” He sounds so happy, and I realise that to him there has been no disruption. I send a prayer of thanks out into the ether to my mentor. I need all the help I can get.
I take the coffee mug from him and return his smile. I try my best to match his air of unfettered optimism. “You sound cheerful.”
His fingers brush against mine as he releases the mug. He lingers a moment before drawing away.
“I feel like celebrating,” he muses, as if his mind is churning and he hasn’t yet had time to process what’s happening. He sounds like a kid, really excited and it’s a big deal – he’s