I feel as if I’m being pulled in two directions at the same time. Which way should I turn? I realise that I’m no longer attached to my earthly shell. The next part of my journey has begun.
My heart cries out for Alex, for his love. I won’t let go, I won’t let go…
As my confusion lifts it’s like peeling back layers of old paint. Each layer reveals something new and the deeper I delve, the closer I’m getting to the truth. I never believed Ethan Morris’s words when he put forward his theory that I was an angel. Wouldn’t I know if that were the case? Now I’m here – wherever it is – I’m not so sure, because this is such a weird experience. Have I died? Or maybe I’m in a coma. All I know for sure is I’ve never experienced anything like this before.
There is a strange feeling of familiarity I can’t explain, though, a sense of knowing this place. I’m no longer scared, merely waiting for what comes next. I don’t think this is the first time I’ve been in this situation. Have I come home to the place where I truly belong?
It isn’t an unpleasant feeling, this sense of disconnection. It’s rather restful. Time and space don’t seem relevant anymore but I feel protected, as if someone is watching over me and guiding me along. Maybe I’ve been in an accident and I’m unconscious. That might be the reason why I can’t feel anything in relation to my body. I try to reach out with my thoughts, hoping someone is listening and will engage with me. I can’t seem to…
It hits me as hard as running into a brick wall. My head is suddenly full of a million thoughts. Memories whizz through my mind so fast and yet each one is familiar and meaningful.
Ethan was right.
I want to cry out in anguish as Alex’s face appears before me. I find myself trying to reach out into the darkness, then realise none of this is physical. I’m in a void where there is nothing except my thoughts and memories. This is where our spirit returns when we are in transition: that place of nothingness where we rest.
All mental blocks are lifted. I remember that as an angel sent to administer on the earth plane, my vibration is restricted for a reason. All knowledge falls away and only a sense of knowing allows me to fulfil my allotted tasks. I remember little on my return here each night, when my earthly energy is in deep sleep, because that is the rule. My place and purpose in the universe is all-consuming. I now understand that a small part of me is bound to the earth until that part of my destiny is played out. It is only here that I can see the true nature of everything.
Then there is a presence. It’s one I know and love dearly: someone who has been with me since my earliest memory. Each energy has its own unique identity, like an aura, but crossing the divide between the planes changes things. Here, everything is constant and our minds link with ease.
“You have a purity that means you are special. Few angels are chosen to touch the earth and carry out their work on that plane. We trust in you to rise above the burdens that weigh down souls in their mortal life. We know there are no guarantees and so many things can go wrong. All you can do is to be receptive and hold on to the knowledge that you are different.”
“But what if I fail?” I ask, fearful of the unknown. Of all of the tasks I have been given, this seems the hardest. I’d heard so many tales about the coldness of human life, of the hardship and stark reality… which I now understood with heart-breaking consequences. I knew there was beauty too, of course, even before I set foot there. Few angels ever talked about an earthly life, our vibration being on a different level to those energies who work tirelessly there.
There is so much more to the state of being than touching earth, no matter how many times some souls make the journey. Here, we gravitate towards like-minded energies. The level at which we work is irrelevant as there is no status, only purpose. I’ve enjoyed so many sectors of being: the nearer I draw to the core, the more I become a part of the whole and a little more of ‘me’ is lost. I wonder if I am destined for the highest honour, whether I am a splinter of the Source.
Of course, no one knows for sure that splinters really exist. Wider knowledge can only be given when it’s appropriate. I believe that splinters will only gain that understanding when there is a call-back: a time when the Source of all being chooses to reunite all of the elements to its core. That would effect a critical change upon the universe, which I’m led to believe has only happened a few times. The Source of us all is benevolent.
On some planes, like earth, the decision was made that energy has to learn from making bad choices as well as good. Core change ripples outwards and whilst it will bring great joy to some, to others it will bring misery. Humans have affected the planet around which their lives revolve and there are serious consequences. It has upset the balance of things and it seems to be a pattern that is repeated, like a never ending circle. The only way to ensure earth continues is for change to be implemented at the highest level, to help redress the imbalance.
The next core change will be to bring back something that has been lost: closeness to the inner-self and the intuitive nature within all humans. On the ethereal plane we have all sensed this with growing concern. I feel I am destined to be a part of implementing that wider change. How exactly, I have no idea. There are times when I know things I can’t possibly have learnt, things that come naturally to me.
I struggle to recall my memories, but transitioning back to my higher level energy now is draining and I have to be patient. It’s a time of healing and when I’m recovered all will be revealed to me. A human’s face appears in my consciousness for one brief moment and I feel a sharp stab of pain.
Do I know this man?
***
Healing is a time of rest, a time to wander with no agenda and I’m not totally comfortable with the sense of freedom and disconnection. It’s often interesting, of course, merely watching other energies and souls as they go about their work. It too can be a beneficial part of the learning process, but I worry as there is still so much work to be done.
On my vibration level there are many I do not know and it’s always a blessing to find myself travelling through space filled with new and interesting energies. There is so much to learn! But the best experience of all is when I’m with my own group. Energies that have been around me since time began. Souls with whom I will ways be linked forever, because in essence we are the same: we are family. Where our future journey will take us, I do not know, only that we will be together. Are we splinters? Will our energy levels become fulfilled to the point where we will have the power to change things? A time when the supreme energy, the centre of the cosmos, will call upon us to help renew the force that holds all the ethereal and life planes together? Are we perpetuity? I seriously doubt that splinters can simply acquire the knowledge. Some of it has to be learnt and developed, because that’s how it works. The group might then come together to harness that power under direction. The idea both excites and frightens me.
Then I remember that I have now touched earth, a part of me is still there and the fact that I’m back in transition means something has gone wrong. I wish I could remember and can only assume that after my time in healing it will become clear.
I only know that I’m experiencing something new. I’ve never had a sensation quite like this, as if a part of me is missing. How can that be? Our essence and energy is one complete mass. Before my trip I didn’t know any different, but now I have this sensation of having left something behind. How strange, or is that how it’s supposed to be? I’m being impatient and I try to let the healing do its work. How I’ve missed the tranquillity of the universe; there is an incredibly harsh edge to life on the earth plane that grates on the soul. Such conflict – beauty and horror; happiness and sadness; love and hate. I wonder how the working energies cope with their many visits, and whether each of their mortal lives is different. With every