‘Yep. That’s about the size of it.’
‘And you decide to do this with me?’ She couldn’t keep the disbelief from her voice. ‘When you must know I’m the exact opposite of all that?’
He gave her a decidedly roguish smile. ‘That makes it more fun. And all the more reason why it has to be on my terms. Otherwise we’d never get anywhere.’
Millie shook her head. How could she argue with him? How could she explain that she was afraid one week with Chase might be enough to peel back all her protective layers, leave her bare, exposed and hurting? She didn’t want to admit the possibility even to herself.
She slid onto a stool and braced her elbows on the counter. ‘So what made you change your mind? To stop skimming?’
He poured the rest of the marinade on top of the chicken, stirring it slowly. ‘I think I might take this opportunity to invoke part B of the no-talking-about-the-past clause, which details that I don’t have to talk about it either.’
‘You have something to hide?’
She almost missed the dark flash in his eyes. She knew he was touchy about his family, but he’d told her the basics about that. Was there something else? Something he didn’t want her to know?
‘Not really,’ he said, taking the lid off a pan of rice and spooning some onto two plates warming on the hob. ‘Just some things I’d rather not talk about.’
‘What about your youth was so misspent?’
‘You trying to get to know me?’
‘Maybe.’
He shrugged. ‘Just the usual, really, for a spoiled rich kid. Expelled from half a dozen boarding schools, crashed my father’s Maserati. The final straw was sleeping with his girlfriend.’ He spoke so very nonchalantly, yet Millie sensed a thread of self-protectiveness in his voice. Maybe even hurt.
‘That’s pretty misspent.’
‘Yeah, well, I like to do things right.’ Now he ladled the chicken in its fragrant sauce over the rice, and Millie had to admit it all looked delicious. The man could cook.
‘And what made you change? I assume you’re not crashing Maseratis now?’
‘Only the odd one here or there.’
‘Seriously.’
‘You want me to be serious?’ He let out a long-suffering sigh and handed her a plate. ‘In that case, I need sustenance.’
They sat in a dining alcove, the floor-to-ceiling windows giving an endless view of the ocean darkening to damson under a twilit sky.
‘Your favourite part of the day,’ Chase said softly, and a thrill ran through her—a thrill at the thought that this man was starting to know her. And that she liked it.
How terrifying.
‘So?’ Millie said, attempting to banish that thrill. ‘Why the change?’
Chase speared a piece of chicken. ‘Remember I told you my father decided he didn’t want me in the family business?’
‘That was, I assume, after the girlfriend incident?’
‘Correct. That, of course, just made me more determined to be as bad as I could be.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Seventeen.’
Millie felt a surprising tug of sympathy for the teenaged Chase. Normally she’d just roll her eyes at even the thought of some spoiled rich kid going through cars and women at a break-neck speed, but when she knew it was Chase... When she knew he wasn’t shallow or spoiled, had more depth than most people she met... Well, it felt different. She felt different.
‘So you were super-bad, then?’
‘More of the same, really. Parties, cars, women, drink. Some recreational drug use I’m definitely not proud of.’ He still spoke lightly, but she saw shadows in his eyes. Felt them in her heart. What a sad, empty life. And her life, in a totally different way, had been sad and empty too. Still was.
‘So what was your life-changing moment?’
He gave her a speculative glance. ‘This is getting pretty personal.’
She swallowed and decided not to dissemble. ‘I know.’
Chase speared another bit of chicken and chewed slowly before answering. ‘My father died. I was finishing college, I’d been studying architecture more for the hell of it than anything else. I was still pretty much a waste of space.’ He paused, and Millie almost reached out to him, touched him, even just a hand on his arm. She stopped herself and Chase continued.
‘I found out from his will that he’d legally disowned me from inheriting anything. Cut me out completely. It was what he’d threatened to do years before, but I guess I didn’t really believe he meant it until then. And, while I have to admit I was pretty disappointed that I wouldn’t be getting any of his money, I felt something worse.’ He glanced away, his expression shuttering. ‘Disappointment. Disappointment in myself, and how little I’d made of my life.’
Then Millie couldn’t stop herself. All in, right? She reached across the table and touched Chase’s hand, just a whisper of her fingers against his, but it was big for her and she thought he knew that. He glanced down at their touching hands and then looked up, smiling wryly.
‘Not that inspiring a story, really.’
‘Actually, it is. You recognised your mistakes and did something about them. Most people don’t get that far.’
‘Did you?’
The blunt question startled her. All this intimacy and sharing was great until he turned the tables on her. She withdrew her hand. ‘Maybe, in a manner of speaking.’ She paused, her fingers clenching into an involuntary fist. ‘But it was too late.’
‘Why was it too late, Millie?’ She shook her head. She’d said too much. ‘All these secrets,’ Chase said lightly. ‘You know it only makes you more intriguing, right? Sexier too. And it makes me want to find out what you’re hiding.’
‘Trust me, it’s not sexy. Or intriguing. It’s just...’ She let out a breath. ‘Sad. In a lot of different ways. And the reason I don’t want to tell you is because you’ll look at me differently.’
‘Would that be a bad thing?’
‘Yes, it would.’ She liked the way Chase teased her. Riled her. Yes, he made her uncomfortable, but he also made her feel real and alive. He didn’t tiptoe around her feelings, didn’t tinge every smile with pity or uncertainty. Didn’t look at her like she was a walking tragedy.
The way everyone else did.
Maybe that was what had attracted her to him in the first place—the fact that he didn’t really know her at all. And yet, Millie had to acknowledge, he did know her. The real her. He just didn’t know what had happened in her life.
And she liked it that way.
Yet how could he really know her, without knowing that?
Tired of the tangle of her thoughts, she rose from the table. ‘Didn’t you say something about a movie?’
Fifteen minutes later, after friendly bickering about whether to see an action flick or worthy drama, they settled on a DVD. Chase sat down on the sofa and before Millie could debate where to sit he pulled her down next to him, fit her snugly next to him and draped his arm around her shoulders. Millie tensed for just a second and then relaxed into Chase’s easy embrace. Why was she fighting this? The weight of his arm and the solid strength of his body felt good.
She tried to pay attention to the movie—the worthy drama she had insisted upon—but she was so tired that her eyelids