She was due in work the following day and had no intention of turning up with a hangover, so when one of the men had tried to persuade her to take part in their drinking game, she had refused. The situation had turned ugly then. Beth had felt really frightened when he had grabbed hold of her and forced the glass to her lips, and that’s when Callum had stepped in.
He hadn’t said a word as he’d removed the glass from the other man’s hand and placed it on a table, but his expression had said it all. The man had immediately let her go and hurried away. Only then had Callum spoken and all he’d done was ask her if she was ready to leave. They had left the party and found an all-night café down by the docks. The time had flown past as they had talked about their lives over mugs of tea.
Callum had explained that he worked for an aid agency and that he had only recently returned from India. It was very different from the career path Beth had chosen and she was intrigued to hear more, not that the conversation was in any way one-sided when he’d seemed equally fascinated by what she had done. She had never met anyone who was as easy to talk to as Callum and she’d found herself telling him things she had told no one else. By the time they left the café, she was already half in love with him...
‘Look, Beth, I know you said before that you didn’t want to hear what I had to say but it’s important that we sort this out.’
The urgency in his voice brought her back to the present, although it was hard to rid her mind of the memories. They had been so good together, true soul mates, totally attuned to one another, until she had decided that she wanted them to have a baby. Would their relationship have lasted if she hadn’t made that decision? She had no idea. However, it was that thought that made her step back so Callum could come in. If she was even partly responsible for ruining what they’d had then she owed him this at least.
‘Come into the sitting room,’ she said shortly, leading the way.
Callum followed her in, smiling when he saw the basket of toys tucked under the coffee table. ‘I see our daughter’s into cars rather than dolls.’
‘She loves anything that has wheels.’ Beth sat down on the chair, leaving Callum to have the sofa. It would have been too hard to sit next to him and recall all the other times they had sat there, cuddled up together. It was something else she didn’t want to dwell on and she sprang to her feet. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. What d’you want—tea or coffee?’
‘Neither, thanks.’ He grimaced. ‘I drank so much tea and coffee on the journey back here that I’m awash with it.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Beth hesitated but she really didn’t want anything to drink either. It had been more a delaying tactic, but perhaps it would be better to get this over with. The sooner Callum had said his piece, the sooner he would leave and things would get back to normal. It was a relief when he carried on.
‘I got here as quickly as I could, Beth. Once I received your letter, I contacted the agency and told them that I needed to return to England immediately.’ He shrugged. ‘All right, I’ll admit that it took a couple of weeks to make the arrangements but there was nothing I could do about that. It was out of my hands.’
He sounded sincere enough and Beth found herself wavering. Was he telling her the truth or was it merely some elaborate tale he had dreamed up to explain his absence? The Callum she had known in the past had never lied to her. Or at least she had thought he hadn’t done so, she amended swiftly. She didn’t want to think that he was lying to her now but how could she trust him after what he had done? He had walked away even though he had claimed to love her. He had even told her that on their last night together, told her that he loved her and that he would always love her. She had taken it to mean that he had changed his mind, that the divorce had been a mistake, and that he wanted them to get back together.
Tears filled her eyes as she recalled how devastated she had felt when she had woken in the morning to find him gone. No, if Callum had truly loved her then he would have stayed.
* * *
Callum could tell things weren’t going well. Beth had tears in her eyes now and he didn’t imagine they were tears of joy either. He searched his mind for the right words, words that would convince her he deserved another chance, but in his heart he knew there was nothing he could say to make up for what he had done. He hadn’t been here when she had needed him. He hadn’t been here for her or their daughter and there was no point explaining how bad he felt about it when she wasn’t interested in anything he had to say. Beth didn’t want him in her life any more and the pain that thought caused him made him suck in his breath.
He stood up abruptly, his legs trembling so hard that he wasn’t sure if they would hold him, but he refused to let her think that he was playing for sympathy.
‘I didn’t come here to upset you, Beth. It’s the last thing I want to do. I’ve told you the truth but I can see that I was wrong to expect you to believe me.’ He spread his hands apart in frustration. ‘If there was anything I could do to convince you then I’d do it, but I doubt if you’d be interested even then. I’m no longer part of your life and I accept that, but I hope you will allow me to be part of our daughter’s life in some way.’ His voice caught then, the words all jammed up inside him as emotion took over, and he stared at the ceiling, not wanting her to guess how agonising it was to know that he might be excluded from his child’s future.
‘I’ll think about it, although I’m not making any promises.’
Beth sounded as choked up as he did and Callum lowered his eyes. His heart scrunched up inside him when he saw the tears that were now trickling down her beautiful face.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he began, but she held up her hand.
‘Don’t! I don’t want to hear anything else.’ She stood up, making it clear that she wanted him to leave.
Callum didn’t say another word as he let himself out. He made his way back to the pub, went up to his room, and lay down on the bed, feeling more wretched than he had felt in his entire life.
Even when he had asked Beth for a divorce, he hadn’t felt this depth of despair. It had been hard then, heart-wrenchingly hard, but he had been so sure it was the right thing to do. With him out of the way, she would be forced to stop trying to conceive and allow her mind as well as her body to rest. That thought had kept him focused, given him strength. He had loved her so much, but he’d had to leave for her sake. Now she didn’t want anything to do with him and even though he understood why she felt that way, the thought ripped a hole right through his heart.
BETH SPENT THE next few days thinking about what Callum had asked her. The question constantly whizzed around her brain: should she allow him to have access to Beatrix? Her gut reaction was to refuse but she knew that she needed to take her time and think about it. It wasn’t fair to Beatrix to make a snap decision when it could have such a huge impact on her life.
When Daniel Saunders, the senior partner at the practice, phoned to ask her if she would consider returning to work earlier than planned, it was a relief because it gave her something else to think about. Apparently, Sandra Nelson, one of the other GPs, had been rushed into hospital with appendicitis. With Daniel’s wife, Eleanor, on maternity leave, it meant the practice was currently under a huge amount of pressure.
Beth agreed immediately, even though she hated the thought of leaving Beatrix. She went into the surgery on the Monday morning, realising in surprise that she felt a little bit nervous. Even though she had worked there for a number of years, it felt strange to be back, almost as though she was the new girl. However, she soon got over that feeling when Marie, the receptionist, greeted her in delight.
‘Beth!’ Marie shot round the desk and enveloped Beth in a hug.