And when, without warning, her eyes stung with tears that she could do nothing about, he put his arm around her, pulling her against his shoulder so that her tears soaked into his sleeve.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘This is stupid.’ She didn’t even know what she was crying about. Phoebe and Michael. Posie. Josh…
Maybe all of them.
‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘Go ahead. Let it out. It’ll do you good.’
He still had his arm around her when the door opened and Josh walked in, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of the three of them.
For a moment no one said anything, then Toby murmured, just loud enough for him to hear, ‘I’m sorry, Grace, I thought I’d locked the door.’
The shock on Josh’s face at finding her with Toby’s arm around her was very nearly as ridiculous as her own sense of guilt.
She had nothing to feel guilty about.
Toby was a friend—he’d been there when Josh had been communing with his guilt up a mountain.
But Josh was clearly reading something a lot more significant into the situation. And why wouldn’t he, when she’d gone to such lengths to convince him that she was involved with the man?
But enough was enough and she pulled free of his arm, rubbing her palm across her wet cheek. ‘Haven’t you got an urgent date with the post office, Toby?’ she reminded him before he completely forgot himself.
‘You’re going to throw me out before I have a cup of that fabulous coffee I’ve made for you?’ he said, apparently determined to give Josh a reprise of his ‘lovelorn swain’ act.
‘Abby will be here when you get back with the receipts,’ she said, cutting him off before he could get going. ‘Buy her a cake and I’m sure she’ll take the hint. My treat.’ Then, ‘Buy two,’ she said meaningfully.
‘Two?’
‘A red velvet cupcake is supposed to be irresistible,’ she said.
‘Got it,’ he murmured, finally getting to his feet. Then, as he made a move, she put her hand on his arm, detaining him. ‘Thanks for the shoulder.’
‘Any time,’ he said, covering her hand with his own, kissing her cheek, going for an Oscar. ‘Anything.’ Then, touching his finger to Posie’s cheek. ‘Bye, baby. Be good for Grace.’
Then, gathering the packages from her desk, he headed for the door, where Josh was blocking his way.
‘Makepeace,’ Josh said, his acknowledgement curt to the point of rudeness.
‘Kingsley,’ he responded mildly. ‘I was sorry to hear about your brother. I liked him a lot.’ The mildness was deceptive. If he’d actually said, ‘Unlike you…’he couldn’t have made himself plainer. ‘We missed you at his funeral.’
Josh said nothing, merely stepped aside to let him out, then closed the door after him and slipped the catch.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I’M EXPECTING someone,’ Grace protested.
‘Whoever it is will knock,’ Josh replied, crossing to the coffee pot. He turned over a couple of cups, opened the fridge. ‘There’s no milk. Shall I call back your gallant and ask him to bring you a carton?’
Gallant.
It was marginally better than ‘lovelorn swain’, she supposed. But only marginally.
‘Don’t bother for me,’ she said, and he poured two cups of black coffee and placed them on the low table set in front of the sofa.
‘You were a lot longer than I expected,’ she said, glancing up at him as Posie spit out the teat, with a finality that suggested that any further attempt to persuade her to take any more would be a waste of time. ‘What took you so long?’
‘There was a lot to go through, but clearly I needn’t have worried that you’d be lonely.’
Feeling trapped on the sofa, Grace got up, lifted the baby to her shoulder and, gently rubbing her back, began to pace.
‘I didn’t realise you and Toby Makepeace were still a hot item.’
Hot?
Hardly…
‘When Toby saw the light, he came over to see if there was anything he could do, Josh. It’s what friends do.’
‘Yes, I got the “any time, anything” message. Including the shoulder to cry on,’ he said, as she turned and came face to face with him. ‘You’ll forgive my surprise. I had assumed you were, momentarily, unattached.’
He invested ‘momentarily’ with more than its usual weight, bringing a flush to her wet cheeks, drawing quite unnecessary attention to them.
Josh produced a clean handkerchief and, taking her chin in his hand, he gently blotted first her eyes, then her cheeks, before unbuttoning one of the pockets on her thin silk shirt and tucking it against her breast.
She opened her mouth but no words came and she closed it again. Then jumped as he carefully refastened the buttons she had slipped open for Posie, her entire body trembling as the warmth of his fingers shot like an electric charge to her heart.
‘Don’t…’ was all she could manage. ‘Please.’
It was too painful. Too sweet…
He let his hands drop, stepping away from her, and it took all she had not to scream out a desperate, No…, because that felt wrong, too.
‘In view of the fact that you were carrying a baby for Phoebe,’ he continued calmly, as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t just touched her, switching her on as easily as if he’d flipped a light switch, undoing, in a moment, ten years of keeping all her feelings battened down.
She stared at him, uncomprehending, having entirely lost the thread of what he was saying.
‘I don’t imagine there are many men who could handle that. Not even Toby Makepeace.’
Toby. The surrogacy…
Got it.
‘Actually, you might be surprised. There are surrogates who, having completed their own families, want to help childless couples achieve their own dreams. They’re fully supported by their partners.’
She’d done her homework, knew the answers without having to think.
‘And is that what your friend Makepeace did? Support you?’
‘Friend’ was loaded, too.
Okay. Hands up. She was the one who’d gone out of her way to give Josh the impression, over the years, that she had a continuous string of boyfriends. Not that he’d taken much interest on his flying visits.
It was as if, after their one night together, he’d totally wiped her from his mind. As if the minute their relationship had changed from friendship to intimacy she’d become just like any other girl he’d ever dated.
Just like the girls she’d once almost pitied because she’d always known he was going to leave the minute he had his degree in his pocket.
Dispensable.
Which made it doubly surprising that he’d remembered Toby’s name. They’d only met once as far as she was aware.
‘Well,’ she said, ‘on the plus side, he didn’t arrive in the middle of the night like some avenging angel, demanding that I stop being such a fool. Does that answer your question?’ Then, tired of playing games, ‘I have no idea how Toby felt about Posie, Josh. I didn’t discuss what I was doing with him. It was none of his business.’
‘That’s