‘Josh…’ she said, acknowledging him, but her eyes were on the baby he was holding with a possessiveness that made Grace’s blood run cold. ‘Hello, my sweetheart,’ she said, holding out her arms. ‘Come to your grandma.’
For a moment Grace thought Josh wasn’t going to surrender her, but Posie, attracted by the bright colours, was smiling at this interesting new arrival and, after what felt like the longest hesitation in history, he gave her up.
‘I’m going to take that shower, Grace,’ he said. ‘If you can be ready to leave by half past eight?’ Then, ‘You do still want to come into town? Dawn can let my mother in if she arrives while we’re out.’
She had never wanted to go into town, but she couldn’t put it off any longer. And they had unfinished business to discuss that she didn’t want anyone else overhearing.
‘Will you be all right, Mum? I had a commission for a tiara that has to be delivered by the end of the week.’ Then, straightening for a fight she hadn’t anticipated but would not duck, ‘And you’re right about the workshop, Josh. It’s my livelihood and I need to make arrangements to keep it ticking over while I think about how I can fit it around Posie’s needs.’
That brought something that could almost have been interpreted as a smile to his lips as he recognised the challenge. ‘You’re not interested in hearing my offer, then?’
‘Posie and I are happy here.’ And, before he could say any more, ‘We’ll be ready to leave at half past eight.’
Neither her mother nor Grace spoke until they heard the basement door shut, at which point they let go of the breath they’d been collectively holding.
‘That man is so intense,’ her mother said. ‘Not a bit like his poor brother.’
‘No. But they were very close.’
‘Were they?’ She turned to the infant in her arms and they inspected one another, her mother with a searching look, Posie with her little forehead wrinkled in a frown. ‘What offer did Josh Kingsley make you, Grace?’
‘He didn’t make an offer.’ Well, he hadn’t. She’d cut him off before he’d said the words. ‘It was just a joke.’
‘Really? He didn’t look as if he was joking. Only I did wonder, if he’s been appointed guardian, whether he’ll want to take Posie back to Australia with him.’
‘He can’t do that.’
‘Oh?’ she said. ‘Are you quite sure about that? She’s a beautiful child and he seems… attached.’
‘He wouldn’t. He’s never in one place for more than a week and children need stability. Order. He knows that.’ They both knew that.
‘They are important,’ her mother agreed, ‘but knowing that they’re loved is what really counts.’ Then, looking at her granddaughter, ‘Phoebe must have been so happy. I’m glad she had these few weeks when her world was complete.’
‘Yes…’ Grace tried to say more, but there was just a great big lump in her throat.
‘And you, Grace? What will make your world complete?’
She shook her head. Some things were never meant to be.
‘Come on through to the kitchen. I’ll get you something to eat,’ she said, anxious to change the subject.
‘I’m not hungry, just tired.’ Then, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get here in time to share the burden, help with the arrangements.’
Grace shook her head. ‘They’d left instructions. They chose a woodland burial site. It’s very peaceful. I’ll take you there when you’ve recovered. Josh hasn’t seen it, either. He only arrived yesterday.’
Her mother nodded. ‘I need to make a phone call, let someone know I’ve arrived. Then perhaps a bath and a nap?’
‘Why don’t you use my flat? I’m staying down here with Posie so you’ll be quiet up there,’ she said, picking up her mother’s bag and heading for the stairs. ‘Private,’ she added, wondering quite how Josh’s mother would react when they met.
‘Nice idea, but I’m not sure that I could cope with all those stairs.’ She pulled a face. ‘Years of damp and cold, living in vans, hasn’t done my hips any favours.’
Concerned, Grace stopped. ‘Are you okay? I could sort you out something on the ground floor for sleeping, but there isn’t a shower on this floor.’
‘I’m going to need replacement joints sooner rather than later but I can just about cope with one flight. I’d like to make my call before I go up, though. I need to tell a friend that I arrived safely.’
That was such an unexpected thing for her free-as-a-bird mother to say that Grace said, ‘A friend?’ Then, ‘You’ve met someone?’
‘You think I’m too old?’
‘No, Mum. I’m just jealous.’ Then, ‘Help yourself to the phone in Michael’s study. I’ll put your bag in the front bedroom on the right—it’s the one nearest to the stairs. Then I’ll get Posie ready for her outing.’
‘You’re taking her with you?’ She sounded disappointed. ‘I would have taken care of her.’
‘You need a rest and, to be honest, we could both do with some fresh air. I thought we’d come home through the park so that she can feed the ducks. You know how Phoebe loved to do that.’
Her mother laughed. ‘Phoebe?’
‘Wasn’t it Phoebe who once gave all the bread we had to the greedy little beasts?’
‘No. She gave the bread to you and you gave it to the ducks.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Oh, yes. She was supposed to be looking after you so that I could put together some stuff to sell at a craft market.’
Grace had vivid memories of her mother bent over a table, working long into the night to put together her intricate necklaces and bracelets. Easy in hindsight to understand how hard it must have been for her, a single mother trying to make enough money to keep her girls fed and clothed as she lived the travelling lifestyle that she’d taken to with the man she’d loved. Had never left, even when he’d disappeared one day. How lonely it must have been.
A scenario that she was now faced with. Not that Posie would ever be hungry or afraid. Not while she had breath in her body.
‘Leaving us all without supper was her way of letting me know that she had much more interesting things to do than babysit her little sister.’
‘No!’ Grace found that hard to believe. ‘Phoebe was always so protective. So caring.’ So… good. Or was that the grown-up Phoebe she was thinking of?
‘It was me she had a problem with, Grace. Not you. We both know that I would never have made the shortlist for greatest mother in the world. Something she made very clear when I came to fetch you after my twenty-eight days for vandalism and disturbing the peace.’
‘You came for me?’ Her mother hadn’t just abandoned her, taken the easy option, the get-out-of-jail-free card? ‘I never knew.’
Phoebe had never told her. It seemed that her big sister was better at keeping secrets than she’d ever imagined.
‘We agreed that it was for the best. You didn’t have her rebelliousness, her toughness. You needed to feel safe. I loved you more than words could say and it was like cutting off my right arm to leave you, but I knew you’d be happier with her. That it would be easier for you if you weren’t torn by any foolish loyalty to me.’ She kissed Posie’s downy head and handed her over. ‘She would have been such a wonderful mother. But you will be, too. Much better than I ever was.’
There