‘Both of us have caught glimpses of him though,’ Yue Gui said, and Martin nodded agreement.
‘You have?’ Simone said, visibly brightening. ‘You’ve seen Daddy?’ She jiggled slightly with excitement. ‘Did he say anything?’
‘We have caught glimpses,’ Yue Gui said with sympathy. ‘His Turtle and his Serpent are at opposite ends of the world. They cry. They seem to be searching for one another — and for you.’
‘And for you,’ I said.
‘We are reptiles,’ Yue Gui said. ‘We lay our eggs and leave them. That is the Way.’
The demons cleared the dishes, and Martin poured more tea all around. I flicked my tongue above it to test the temperature, then carefully lowered my snout into the bowl to drink without tipping it over.
‘See? Told you you’d get there in the end,’ Simone said, waving her own teacup. ‘It just took practice.’
‘And if you used a larger bowl you wouldn’t have any issue with it at all,’ Martin said.
I pulled my dripping snout out of the tea bowl, then wiped it on a napkin laid on the table for me. ‘I’m not drinking out of a dog’s bowl, thank you very much.’
‘Dragon bowl!’ Martin said.
‘You are argumentative today, Ming Gui,’ I said sternly. ‘You need to take some time and meditate on your faults; you are lacking in filial piety towards your senior. You should be more modest and obedient.’
Simone nearly spat out her tea, and Martin’s mouth flopped open with delight.
Yue Gui toasted me with her teacup. ‘I could not have said it better myself, ma’am; you are quite correct in your clarification of Ming Gui’s faults. He should write a ten-page, seven-legged essay outlining his shortcomings and his plan for reparation.’
‘Be careful,’ Martin said with good humour. ‘I may just do that, and make all of you read it.’
Simone shook her hands over the table. ‘No, that’s really not necessary!’ She brightened. ‘But you can write an essay for me on the reproductive variety in different species of annelids.’
‘Worms?’
‘Worms.’
‘Wait, the whole phylum? That’s a hell of a lot of worms! Their reproductive variety is astounding — did you choose this topic yourself?’
Simone nodded. ‘I like worms.’ She sagged slightly. ‘But you’re right, it’s a huge topic.’
‘When’s it due?’ Martin said.
‘Two weeks from tomorrow.’
He put his hand out over the table. ‘Sounds like fun. I’ll help you. Deal?’
She shook his hand. ‘Deal. You like biology too?’
He shrugged. ‘Most interesting field of science there is. Some Celestial biology makes Earthly biology look very tame in comparison.’ He turned to me. ‘Now that we’re finished, I think it’s time to move to general matters at hand. There aren’t many cases for you to hear; I’ll provide you with a list in the morning.’
‘Is Sang Shen still going on about me living in the wrong part of the palace?’ I said.
‘No,’ Yue Gui said. ‘I talked to him and offered him a compromise.’
‘Which is?’
Martin cut in. ‘Emma, if we move the fittings from the Serpent Concubine Pavilion into the Pavilion of Dark Celestial Bliss, will you move there?’
‘That’s what I’ve been asking for! It would solve the whole problem, but they said the fittings couldn’t be moved without disrupting the fung shui of Dark Bliss. The pavilion was designed to be occupied by a human not a snake.’
‘We have a fung shui master who says it can be done with some alterations to the layout to counteract the excessive yang of a snake presence. It will mean making the northern part of the pavilion larger, adding a water feature of some sort and choosing more turtle motifs in the decoration.’
‘Sounds very nice,’ I said. ‘How much will it cost?’
He hesitated. ‘Ten jin of Celestial jade.’
‘Ten jin?’ I said, horrified.
‘That’s, like, ten ounces, isn’t it?’ Simone said. ‘About a million dollars? That’s a bit over the top.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s ten kilos. A hundred and sixty ounces. Ten cattys!’
‘That’s … what … sixteen mill?’ Simone said. ‘To add one room and a water feature? That’s ridiculous.’
‘We could have the whole goddamn pavilion knocked down and rebuilt for that,’ I said.
‘It’s made of aged Celestial teak and ebony from the plantations on the southern shores of the Northern Heavens — the trees from there take five hundred years to grow,’ Martin said. ‘The fittings are Earthly black and white jade trimmed with pure silver. The multicoloured floor tiles are semi-precious stones — topaz, garnet and tourmaline — and it will be hard to find stones that large again.’
I rested my head on the table. ‘I’ll just stay in the concubine quarters. It’s only Sang Shen who’s making a fuss about me moving.’ I raised my head. ‘Look, tell him that I’ll be happy to move into the Empress’s quarters, but he has to pay the ten jin to have it altered.’
Yue Gui nodded. ‘Good idea. I will tell him.’ She smiled slightly.
‘You really love tormenting him, don’t you, Jie Jie,’ Simone said.
Yue Gui shrugged. ‘He is in my custody to serve a sentence. And serve a sentence he will.’
‘Speaking of living quarters, there is one other matter, and then we have nothing else until tomorrow,’ Martin said. He pulled himself upright and spoke more formally. ‘Lady Emma, now that the Northern Heavens have been restored and are no longer a frigid wasteland, it would be most fitting to harmonious Celestial alignment if your family — your parents — were to be living in these Heavens rather than those in the West. This is where they belong as your family, and it is your filial duty to serve them closely. This is best achieved by them moving here.’
I stared at him, shocked. My parents had been living in the West for ten years and now he wanted them to move to a completely new — and strange — place?
‘I can’t see Nanna and Pop wanting to do that,’ Simone said mildly. ‘They’ve made a lot of friends in the West over the last ten years, Martin. I really think they’re more comfortable in the West.’
Martin opened his mouth to argue but I cut him off. ‘I will take the matter under advisement and discuss it with my parents.’
He nodded. ‘Very good, ma’am.’
CHAPTER 4
That evening Simone and I spread out on some beanbags in the Serpent Concubine Pavilion and watched a DVD together, she in her pyjamas and me stretched out next to her in serpent form. When the movie finished, she switched off the DVD and spread her arms. ‘Hug, Emma.’
I slithered next her and she held me close, my head resting on her shoulder.
‘I worry I’m gonna squeeze you and hurt you,’ she said. ‘You’re kinda soft and squishy under the scales.’
‘I think my ribs are pretty springy, and you’ve never hurt me yet,’ I said. I wished I could smile, but opening my mouth made my fangs slide down, which wasn’t a good look.