“Are you serious? You’re letting some strange French guy in the house for two weeks! What if he tries to assault me?”
I can tell Mom and Erland are trying not to laugh. Okay, fine, I’m being a bit of a drama queen, but still. A French guy in our house? There’s no telling what sort of European debauchery could happen.
“I’ll ask him not to assault you, dear,” she says. “We don’t know for a fact that he’s strange. Anyway, I think it will be good for you.”
“I have to entertain him for two whole weeks! That’s just cruel.”
“You won’t have to be with him every day, honey. His teachers will have plenty of activities planned. But it would be nice if you took him out a few times.”
“You have not been going out much lately,” Erland points out. “Now is your chance. Show Benoit the city. You would be great at that. We will give you money toward it.”
Mom smiles. “Don’t you think it’s about time you had some fun?”
You check your email dozens of times a day, hoping to hear from your ex-boyfriend—the same ex-boyfriend who hasn’t said more than two words to you since you broke up.
Your parents have to fly you in a companion from overseas.
Your mom buys you a bunch of teen romance novels when she used to tell you to go to the library instead.
Your stepdad looks up your horoscope without you even asking him, and says you will find new romance soon. (C’mon, Erland!)
I don’t have time to wallow in self-pity, though, because a situation arises that demands my attention. I’m on the phone with my older sister, Tracey, when she says, “Guess what? I’m going to try online dating! I signed up on Lavalife and Match.com.”
Uh-oh, this is not my area of expertise. When I think of online dating, I think of freaks, perverts, stalkers.
A little background on Tracey: she’s amazing. Really, she’s the best sister ever, and she actually likes having me as a little sister. Problem is, she’s had bad luck with guys since…well, forever. Tracey hasn’t dated much in the past few months. Around the time I got together with Jared, she had a relationship relapse with her ex. After that, she took a few months off dating, but has emerged again, slowly and cautiously. I was intent on setting her up with Jared’s gorgeous and spiritual social worker, Rodrigo, but as soon as Tracey decided she was ready to date again, it turned out Rodrigo had a new girlfriend. Talk about timing.
And now this. Internet dating. How can I give her advice when I know so little about it?
“Kayla? Are you there?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“Corinne met the sweetest guy online last month. She’s talked me into signing up.”
“Cool, but you’ve got to give me a minute to wrap my mind around this. The whole idea scares me. You hear about women getting stalked by people they’ve met online.”
“They get stalked by people they meet other places, too. But you’re right, I’ll have to be careful. It’s still worth exploring. I’ve known a bunch of people who’ve met their mates online. Mark at work met his wife through a site years ago, and that was in the early days of online dating. Now there are thousands of potential guys. Mom says that at least half of the couples in her marriage prep courses meet that way.”
“Maybe I should try it, too.” The word rebound flashes in my mind with neon lights.
“Don’t you dare. You’re too young. And there’s no need. When you’re in high school and college, there are loads of opportunities to meet guys. It’s afterward that things dry up.”
“Don’t worry, Trace. I’m not going to look for a guy online. But you’re right that it’s worth a shot for you. Let me do a little research before you go on any dates, okay?”
“Yay! But hurry—I’ve already started chatting with a couple of guys, and it’s only a matter of time before we go out.”
Talk about a fire under my butt!
Over the next couple of days, I plunge into the world of online dating. I spend hours surfing the internet for articles, and I check out a bunch of dating websites.
In the end, I come up with:
The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating
The Dos:
Do put up a realistic photo. Sure, replacing your picture with a supermodel will get a guy’s attention, but do you really want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he sees the real you?
Do look good—but don’t go over the top. If you dress up too fancy or wear too much makeup, he may wonder why you’re putting so much effort in.
Do trust your instincts. If you get a bad vibe from him, then don’t spend much time with him and don’t tell him many details about your life.
The Don’ts:
Don’t give out your phone number or call him until after you’ve met him, unless you have a block up so he can’t see your phone number.
Don’t meet on a Friday or Saturday night. Those nights are prized, and people generally stay out later, which makes it awkward if it’s a bad date and you want to go home early.
Don’t give him your full name until after he’s met your approval. Create a separate email account for guys you meet online.
Don’t let your date see where you live.
Don’t get into his car.
There must be more, but that’s all I can put together for now. I hope it’s enough to save Tracey from potential predators. I email her the blog and post it on my website, and none too soon. It turns out Tracey intends to go on a coffee date on Saturday afternoon with a guy who calls himself “Iced Mocha.” I am beside myself with anticipation. I offer to go to the café and keep an eye on things, but she says no, that would make her more nervous.
Too bad, because I’d love to put on a hat and sunglasses and play the spy. On second thought, maybe Mom and Erland were right; I need to get out more.
four
11 Days into Rebound Equation
Wednesday-morning pep rally. I’m sitting with my friends at the back of the gym. Sports teams are strutting in front of us while silly mascots are jumping and clapping, as if we care. We would totally sneak out if the teachers weren’t watching the doors. It’s not that I hate my school, but I don’t feel a major allegiance to it. Which I suppose isn’t good, considering I’m on student council.
“You wouldn’t believe what my mom did,” I say. “It’s totally heinous.”
“She read your diary!” Sharese says.
“I don’t have a diary.”
“She caught you sexting!” Amy declares.
“I don’t sext. That’s your thing.”
My friends are poised for the news. When I say the words exchange student, they shake their heads in disgust.
“I