“What can we do?” Jacob asked. My older brother stood straight and tall, and he appeared ready for immediate action.
Father shook his head and said, “For now, we wait. Once the sting of the wedding cancellation lessens, I’m hoping that Elijah will become preoccupied with other things.”
“And if that doesn’t happen?” I said, suddenly worried that the feud could go on for years. I wasn’t waiting that long to be with Rose.
“We’ll take that day when it comes, and not a moment sooner. It is not our way to fuss over the choices of our children. Elijah’s actions are not being dictated by scripture or law of God. His own pride is corrupting him.” He glanced between us and added, “This should be taken as a good lesson for the two of you. Our people are not our enemies and should never be treated as such.”
I couldn’t help the aggravated sigh that escaped my mouth. Father grasped my arm and warned, “Noah, be vigilant nowadays. You and Rose will be joined in due time, but this storm must settle before that happens. Please, for once in your life, take heed of what I say and control your emotions.”
Reluctantly, I said, “Yes, Father.”
He was right, and I knew it, but it was more difficult than ever to be kept from Rose. All I wanted to do was to have her by my side and begin our lives together, but everyone under the sun was working against us.
Father and Jacob left together to hitch up their horses, but I lingered at the fence line watching a newborn foal as it punched with its nose at its dam’s udder for milk. A beautiful sight, but I was thinking about Rose, wondering what she was doing on the warm, sunny morning.
I ignored the sound of the buggy’s wheels crunching on the gravel behind me until I heard my name called out. Micah Schwartz stepped out of the buggy and walked the few steps to reach me.
His hair curled out from under his hat, and I was thinking to myself that he needed a haircut when he said, “Constance wants to speak to you.” He nodded toward the buggy, darting his eyes back and forth to see if anyone was watching.
“It isn’t proper for me to be alone with her. Your father would have my hide.”
Micah nodded with understanding, and I suddenly realized that he was a likable fellow.
“Father and the rest of the family have left, but I’ll stay close to the buggy in case questions are raised.”
My heart stilled. The last thing in the world I wanted to do this morning was to talk to the girl whose heart I’d broken, but seeing the determination in Micah’s eyes to make it happen, I knew I couldn’t refuse. I owed Constance that much.
When I climbed into the buggy, I avoided her gaze at first and sat as far from her on the seat as possible. Since the space was small, we were still closer than I wanted.
Her voice was petal soft when she spoke, and I finally glanced up at her oval face. She really was doll-like with her pale skin, dark eyes and auburn hair. She’d have no problem finding a new suitor, I thought. She was too pretty a girl to be left alone for long.
“Even for all the embarrassment this meeting causes me, I still needed to talk to you about it. I don’t understand and wish that you could make me see your side of things.”
Her mouth frowned slightly, but her face did not look at me with the hatred I would have expected. Constance really was a good girl, and I regretted even more that I’d hurt her at all.
“I want you to know that when we were together I was absolutely sincere in my feelings for you. I cared deeply for you, and I still do. But my love for Rose consumes me. She is the woman I’m supposed to be with, and I realize that now.”
“You told me that you were over her, that she wasn’t right for you. Why change your mind?”
I glanced at her but couldn’t look into her staring eyes for long.
“It wasn’t our fault. Her father and brother wrote a letter basically saying that she was moving on in her English world. I was heartbroken, but let her go, thinking that it might be best for both of us. After I learned the truth and saw her again, I realized that she was the only woman for me. I’m sorry that I got you involved in our troubles.”
Her voice changed, and there was a hint of coolness in it that I’d never heard before.
“You asked me to marry you, Noah. That’s a very serious thing. Now I see that you never loved me at all but, instead, were trying to erase your hurt feelings about the English girl by using me. As a Christian woman, I will forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you’ve done to me. You deserve to suffer a little before you find your happiness in life...just as I will do.”
I was shocked at her words. I would have expected Ella, the crazy Amish girl who’d been obsessed with me since we were children, to make such a proclamation, but not the timid Constance who’d thawed my heart after I’d thought Rose had left me. Knowing more about her father, I really shouldn’t have been so surprised, but I still was.
I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, Constance...truly I am.”
Micah peeked in the doorway and said, “Noah, you need to leave now. It’s been long enough to raise suspicions.”
I stepped out of the buggy without another word to Constance.
After the buggy pulled away, Sarah appeared beside me and asked, “What did Micah say to you?”
Her question pulled me from my own heavy thoughts.
My sister’s eyes were wide and bright, and her face shone. She looked different, and after a second of concentration, all my own problems disappeared for an instant.
“Are you interested in Micah?”
When Sarah blushed and looked down at her feet, I had my answer. Good God, the girl didn’t have a clue what she was getting herself into.
Lowering my voice, I told her, “Don’t even go there, Sarah. That family is nothing but trouble. Elijah Schwartz will never allow his son to court you after what I did to his daughter.”
Her voice prickled when she said, “It’s none of your concern or Jacob’s which boy I show favor to.” With a kick at the gravel, she added, “At least he’s one of us. Surely, things will be easier for us than they will be for you and Rose.”
The words slapped me, and I stepped back. Her face suddenly became remorseful, and she followed me and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I’m just upset that you echoed Jacob’s own sentiment.” She mumbled, “Now I understand how you felt when you couldn’t be with Rose. Why is the world so unfair?”
I stopped, suddenly feeling closer to my younger sister than I ever had. We really did have something in common.
“God willing, in the end I’ll be with Rose and you’ll be with Micah, if you choose him.”
Sarah smiled and nodded. As we walked back to the barn to get the horse hitched, I worried that God might have other plans for my sister and me.
A feeling of uneasiness pinched my soul as I watched Sarah carefully back Oscar from the tie stall. She was such a sweet girl, and the thought that my actions were causing her grief darkened my mood even further.
Out of all of us, Sarah deserved happiness the most. I was bound and determined to make sure that she had it—even if it meant putting my own life on hold for a while longer.
11
Sarah
A million butterflies fluttered in my belly as I played volleyball. Each time I glanced toward the net where Micah was, he’d be looking straight at me and I’d turn away quickly.
His brazenness awakened my