“Why does it matter?” I matched his tone. I swept my hand across the bed, encompassing the room. “None of this will matter.”
Father leaned over the bed, inches from me. “This. This is what is supposed to matter. If Jackson had told you everything he should have explained that humans are who we protect. We are not above them.”
I snorted. What did he know? He chose to stay on the Living Realm after his wife had passed instead of moving on. I would have never done that. Once this baby was born and I was transformed I was out of here, with Jackson. We would go somewhere and start a new life together.
Father’s eyes flicked up toward the fireplace and my head snapped in that direction before his gaze slid back to mine. The flames in the hearth made his eyes gleam, but his expression was anything but happy.
“I see that I have to resort to other methods to get you to understand.”
I sat up, still staring at the space near the fireplace. Even if I couldn’t see him, I knew he was there. “Understand what?”
“Your infatuation with your Guard is unnatural. He was meant to stay with the family while you move on. But it appears that you are unable to look past this.” His eyes flicked back toward the roaring fire. “This is not the way of our world. You will understand that someday, but I will do what I have to. You will end this, or you will never see him again, in this life or the next.”
My chest ached. “Never.” I shoved off the bed and glared up at my father. “When I transform—”
“It will be done long before you transform.”
I narrowed my gaze. “If that happens I will live the rest of my life making you regret that decision.”
“What happened to you?” His voice was low and I knew I hovered on dangerous ground with him.
My eyebrows furrowed. “I am the same person I’ve always been. You just keep trying to change me.”
Father shook his head slowly. “No.” He lunged forward, his eyes sparkling manically as I scrambled away from him, but he grabbed my arms and yanked me until I was inches from him. My skin crawled and I attempted to lift my arms but he held them in place.
“Let go of me,” I growled, needing to get away from this crazed man.
“You aren’t even a shadow of my daughter anymore.”
“Let me go!” I shouted, shoving away from him.
He let me go and I dashed for the fireplace and balanced myself with one hand gripping the mantle. I wasn’t sure exactly where Jackson was but I knew he was close by. Just the thought of him near me made my heart race.
“What did he do to you?” Father asked.
I inhaled and let go of my breath slowly. It was something the midwife taught me in preparation for labor, a calming mechanism. The last thing I needed now was stress. Not when I was this close to getting everything I wanted.
My own family.
“You’re prepared to leave everyone behind?”
I turned to him, my hand sliding across the smooth wood. “I am prepared to do what it takes to get what I want.”
“What of Tristan?”
“What of him?” I yelled, not caring who heard. “Do you even know what goes on under your own roof? The deceit, the lies.” I shook my head, not willing to touch on that part of my life that I had let go.
“You will deprive your child of a father? Its actual father?”
I absently rubbed my belly. “Like I said, I will do what it takes.”
“Jackson has failed you,” Father murmured.
“Actually he hasn’t,” I said. “I’ve never felt as if I truly belonged until I met him.”
Father pulled his hand across his beard. “You’re young. You both have duties that are independent from each other. You will never be together in the way you want. If he was here right now, I’m sure this isn’t what he’d want for you.”
My gaze snapped up to him. “What do you mean if he was here right now?”
Father clenched his jaw. “Jackson’s been reassigned.”
My throat closed up, making it hard to breathe. “But he stopped appearing to me. That was the deal. Why would you take him away from me?” My voice rose. The baby chose that moment to wake from its slumber and roll around, adding to the fire that burned inside of me. My life was spiraling out of control. I’d lost my husband to my sister and now I’d lost the love of my life. Father would have gone to extreme lengths to keep us apart.
“Believe it or not,” Father said, with no hint of regret, “he asked for the reassignment.”
“You’re lying!” I spat.
Father sighed and shook his head.
My skin flushed as an emptiness in my heart spread across my chest. I darted toward Father until we were face to face. “Tell me you are lying.”
His gaze fell onto mine, his eyes distant.
I blinked back the haze that started to settle on the edge of my vision as I waited for his response.
“If you continue on this path,” he said softly, “you will not be able to fulfill your destiny.”
What did that mean? I brushed off the question, a bigger one burning inside of me. A frustrated sob broke past my lips. “Just tell me where he is.”
Father turned from me. “When you start thinking of others instead of yourself, maybe I will tell you.”
I grabbed father’s arm and squeezed. The pressure made my hand ache but I couldn’t stop myself. Something deep inside of me had snapped. “You will regret this,” I threatened.
Father turned to me, his mouth pressed in a hard line. “The only thing I regret is not separating you sooner.”
We both stood our ground, facing each other, neither backing down.
Tristan appeared in the doorway, his eyebrows raised. “Is everything okay in here?”
Father spun on his heel, facing my husband. “Everything is fine.” Father patted Tristan on the back as he brushed by him. “Good night.” He turned to me one last time just as my peripheral vision clouded, splintering the memory as I rocketed back to the present.
***
I awoke lying on the plush love seat in my father’s study. I tried to sit up but the room tilted again. Gingerly I placed my head on the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut, taking several controlled breaths before making the decision to try again. As I reached a seated position the door to the study opened, revealing my father holding a tray with Cooper close behind him, the tightness of his jaw slackening when he saw me awake.
Pulling my fingers through my hair, I twisted it around my fingers and pushed it off my flushed neck. I fought down the nausea churning in my stomach. One of the sensations I didn’t regret losing for a century.
Father placed the tray down and poured two cups of tea. “What did you see?” Always straightforward and to the point.
I accepted the cup and saucer he offered, the steam from the drink warming my face. “Memories. Of us.” If he could be business-like, so could I.
He sat on the chair across from the couch. “Go on.”
I glanced up at Cooper who gave me an encouraging smile as he made his way to the other side of the room to stand by the bookshelves, his posture at attention. I took a sip of tea before speaking. The hot liquid burned my throat and I coughed lightly, letting the herbs soothe my nerves. I detailed everything I had seen in the vision without interruption. My father regarded