Felix’s lips pulled downward. “Do you know who your Guard is?”
I wrinkled my nose. The title sounded like something I should have known but I couldn’t wrap my mind around the answer. “My Guard?”
Felix nodded before saying in an efficient voice, “Margaret. I have to inform you that you have died.”
My breath caught in my throat, but the man wrapped his arm around my shoulders, radiating a peace I’d never felt before. “You are very special.”
As I looked up at him, something niggled at the back of my mind as if I should have remembered something important. But I could not grasp what was just out of reach.
“I need you to come with me,” Felix said.
“Okay,” I replied, trusting him implicitly.
Then Felix nodded and the space around us shimmered into a bright white light.
***
I sat up, burrowing my hands into a soft surface. The room was shrouded in darkness but deep inside of myself I knew I was home. What a strange dream! I inhaled deeply as if I hadn’t taken a breath in a week and let it out raggedly.
“Jackson?” I called softly, but he didn’t come to me. I leaned against my pillows. He must be with the baby. I didn’t know the precedence on how Jackson would still be my Guard and my child’s. But I assumed he was with him or her in the meantime while I had slept.
Pulling my fingers through the matted mess of tangles on my head I shoved the heavy quilts from my body, sliding off the bed and toward a sliver of light coming in from behind the curtains.
What time was it? I normally didn’t sleep much, but childbirth had been more taxing on my body than I realized. Poking a finger through the hole between the curtains I moved it to the side and allowed my eyes to adjust before pushing the curtain wider.
My hand lifted to my mouth extinguishing the involuntary gasp that rose to my lips.
Outside the window, the plush green lawn reached out into the distance, leading up to a forest surrounding the grounds. The sun was high in the cloudless blue sky. I touched the cool glass with my fingers, realizing my body temperature was higher than I expected and pressed my forehead against the glass, closing my eyes briefly.
This wasn’t right. Why was I in the servants’ wing? Dizziness swept over me and I leaned heavily against the window. Something was wrong. My room overlooked the gardens.
I felt a presence behind me and immediately it calmed each of my taut muscles. Jackson would be able to explain this.
I turned around, but I didn’t see him.
“Hello?” I called. I listened for the sound again, but all I heard was the thudding of my heart in my chest. Had I been mistaken that it was Jackson? Maybe he had been assigned to my child and I was assigned to a new Guard? One that surely wouldn’t reveal him or herself to me like Jackson did.
A blond boy manifested next to the bed and I jumped back against the window. I tilted my head, inspecting him. He was dressed like Jackson but instead of the face of the man I loved, this one was friendly and warm. A sudden pressure in my head pulsed until I had to close my eyes from the pain. Images flitted across my eyelids in quick succession and I reached my hands up, pressing them against my temples, willing the images to stop. Cooper, Ally, Leha, Jamie, Calliope, Robert. The memories of the After downloaded into my head. Being inside of Ally’s body. Training with Jackson. The feelings of love I had for him in my previous life mixed with his betrayal. The agony of losing Leha struck me over and over. I cried out as I came to the realization of what I was. A Rodas. My revenge on Hannah and Jackson boiled under the surface of my skin.
As my heart slowed down to a steady thrumming, I opened my eyes, recognizing the boy in the room. Cooper was in front of me in seconds, his eyebrows knitted together.
I looked down at my hands, wiggling them in front of me. I was back in my human body. Taking in another breath of air, slow and deep, a grin spread across my lips. “It worked.”
Cooper stepped closer to me, his hands opened expectantly at his sides. “You remember everything?”
I nodded, recalling the two memories I’d just experienced, of my death and meeting Felix for the first time. I couldn’t believe I thought they were dreams. Even though I’d experienced my death a few times through memories, this time was different. I had seen my Collector. Seen my father kill me. Maybe that was the plan all along?
The strange space I had occupied must have been Gate Seven. But it wasn’t as beautiful as I’d always seen through other souls. Why had mine been different? And why was Felix there instead of the Collector?
I strained to recall other memories from my past but they weren’t easily grasped. I knew my house like the back of my hand, but I couldn’t remember much before my death. Shaking my head I looked at Cooper. “Not everything.”
“Sophia said it might take time,” he reminded me.
But only two memories? I unfurled my fists, releasing the now wrinkled silk fabric of my nightgown.
I lifted my eyes to Cooper, aware of how his eyes strained to keep fixed with mine. I wasn’t wearing more than a thin nightgown. My heart fluttered in my chest, until an uncomfortable popping sensation and a low growl from my stomach broke the trance.
Cooper grinned, the corners of his eyes lifting with his smile. “You should change. If you feel up to it you could join Sophia downstairs for breakfast. She’d love to see you.”
I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. My skin was a bit greasy and my breath was hot. “I’m going to shower first.”
He averted his eyes and pointed to the door behind me. “The bathroom is through there.”
“I know. I remember this house, but just not the memories in it.” I shook my head. “Does that even make sense?”
Cooper nodded. “I’ll be waiting in the hallway.”
My face flushed. I pressed my hands against my hot cheeks as Cooper exited the room. I dug my toes into the ornate area rug and scanned the room, trying to piece my memories, or any memory for that matter, together, but instead I hit a brick mental wall. My patience was quickly waning. Closing my eyes, I remembered when I had been inside of Ally. Why had I experienced those memories within her but not now in my own body? What was different?
Each time I had seen Jackson, shortly afterward I had experienced a memory. The wooden owl flashed before my eyes. When I’d touched the owl I had seen the memory of looking for it with Jackson.
My eyes opened and I stared at the space Cooper had just occupied. When I saw him again memories of my after-life had flooded back to me. Maybe I needed some sort of trigger to bring my memories back?
Cooper’s shadow appeared under the door breaking me from my trance and I headed quickly to the bathroom.
The tile was cool against my bare feet, so I sprinted across the floor stepping onto a rug near the vanity. As my feet warmed up, I glanced around the bathroom. Even without memories, I knew I had never been inside this room. The servants’ quarters had been strictly off limits, but I was more than surprised by the size of the room. I’d thought Ally’s bathroom was excessive, but this one made it seem miniature in comparison. The high ceilings magnified the size of both rooms and the adornments were simple, yet elegant. Paintings clung to the walls and each piece of furniture was intricately carved, making them decorative pieces themselves. To one side of the bathroom was a claw-foot tub enclosed by a curtain.
Looking into the large mirror over the vanity I noticed that my soul form had mirrored my body exactly with one minor difference. The Prognatum favored the looks and otherworldliness of the Caeleste, something I never found