‘Can I come back later to roll out the rug?’ I mean, they need to catch up and I don’t want to seem like I am eavesdropping.
‘You don’t have to roll this out, Thandeka,’ Rudzani says with emphasis.
‘Since when do you give orders to the cleaners?’ Diana enquires. Her gaze is on him.
‘Come on, Diana, that thing just needs a dustpan and a brush, that’s all. I can even do it myself.’
Diana swivels her head between Rudzani and I, in shock. What did I do? I am as shocked as she is.
‘I will take the rug out now,’ I jump in, my eyes pleading with Rudzani to let it go. I will drag this thing out of here, wash it and drag it back. Please!
Rudzani and Ms Diana start arguing about who gives orders around here. I am frozen, praying that I don’t get fired over this. It is just spilt sugar. I don’t know why Rudzani is upsetting her over this.
Lord, help me.
‘Since when do you argue with me in front of our employees?’ Diana spits. She is fuming. I am still frozen, waiting for them to decide what I should do next. My eyes dart between them. Diana stands up from her seat and walks out of the office. I am in trouble.
‘Get a dustpan,’ Rudzani whispers and I rush out of the office too.
Clumsy hands! He is sitting in his desk chair with a frown on his face, deep in thought, when I enter again. I clean the mess and wish him a good day before exiting. He smiles at me, distractedly, and nods.
The PA raises her eyebrows at me when I walk out of the office. I shrug. I also don’t know what just happened but I am worried about Diana, she looked pissed.
What was Rudzani thinking? I don’t want to be fired before I even get paid.
I drag my trolley to the kitchen and clean a few cups before cleaning the boardroom.
* * *
By lunchtime, I am exhausted. Maria is munching on her sandwich when I get to our little office. She is the one who dragged me here after I had an encounter with my ex at the funeral. I remember I couldn’t breathe when I saw him with his wife and child.
Maria had my back – as always.
That Saturday I was wearing one of the black dresses I once made when I was still mourning my baby. It is a very beautiful maxi dress with long sleeves – my favourite type. I felt good but the moment Vhonani stood in front of me, I felt out of place. He was wearing a perfect black suit matched with a black shirt and perfect black shoes. It was not your typical suit that people just throw on for a funeral. He looked great. His wife was in a pencil skirt and a white tucked-in blouse. Their baby was in the pram the whole time and I didn’t see him but I am sure he looked the part too.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. I felt like digging my own grave next to Ronnie and that little boy. We didn’t speak at that time. He just glanced at me while the pastor was preaching.
The second time I noticed my ex was when we were serving lunch after the funeral. I was standing next to Maria who was serving the pap while I dished the gravy and a salad. He stood in front of me with two plates. I could feel his presence before raising my eyes to him.
‘How are you, Thandeka?’ he asked.
‘I am fine,’ I said as I threw the gravy and a salad on his two plates and called for the next person to step forward.
I wish that was our last encounter, but it wasn’t. Vhonani was with the other men for the after-tears while I helped wash the dishes. When I was done, I decided to go home to make a delivery of eggs before it got dark.
The jerk followed me.
‘Thandeka, can we talk?’ he asked right behind me. I wondered where his wife and child were.
‘What do you want from me?’ I increased my pace.
‘I wanted to see the baby,’ he said. I wondered, Is he mocking me or what? Doesn’t he know? The news was all over the village.
‘It died,’ I hissed, trying not to cry. I didn’t want to go back there. Ronnie’s funeral had already brought so many emotions. Watching Rudzani shed a tear, with a cold face, when they rolled out the caskets broke my heart. I had cried when I saw that. I didn’t want to cry again. It was enough for that day.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asked.
Maria taps me on my shoulder, bringing me back to the present. I turn to her and blink a few times before rubbing my eyes. I was lost in my own thoughts, again.
‘What is wrong?’
I shake my head. We are not talking about this. We are not talking about my ex-boyfriend ever again.
Vhonani is a jerk and I think all men are.
I warm up my lunch and settle next to her. The two of us are renting a big bedroom together in a flat in Johannesburg CBD. This is just a temporary arrangement until we can afford to rent an entire flat. I don’t really feel safe in the room we’re renting now, but there’s nothing else we can do.
‘Have you seen the big boss?’ Maria sticks her tongue out. She winks at me and laughs.
Really?
‘I saw him. I am working on his floor, remember?’
‘I wish I was you. The first floor is not interesting,’ she says.
Liar! She wants to crush on Rudzani every day.
I choose not to tell her what happened in his office. It could be weird to try to explain it to someone.
Anyway, I don’t want to fight Maria for any man. I haven’t told her that Rudzani and I met before the funeral and that he is the one who changed my world for the better with the words that touched my soul. She liked him first, even though it is from a distance. I’m not going to interfere and ruin her fantasy – even if it is a fantasy involving a skirt-chaser.
The clock ticks half past one. It is time to prepare tea for the boardroom which is booked for a meeting. I throw my lunchbox into my locker and put my apron on.
‘Thandeka …’ Ms Diana is standing at the door.
‘Ma’am …’
‘I am changing your shifts to floor two,’ she says and turns to another lady who is also packing away her lunchbox in her locker. ‘What is your name again?’
‘Johanna.’
‘Johanna, I am moving you to floor five,’ Diana says, ‘with immediate effect.’
Hawu!
CHAPTER 5
GUNDO
Is it me, or has Thandeka disappeared on me?
Again?
I have been calling for tea and coffee three times a day and there is no sign of her. I know I have been busy the past two weeks, but I have bumped into everybody else but her.
I am not entitled to her but I like seeing her. My heart welcomed her from that very second I saw her weeping for her child. She looks much happier now. Not that I know what she looked like before we met.
Why am I smiling? I shake my head while walking to the large window in my office. I should get this woman out of my mind. I don’t know why it is so hard.
It is almost three o’clock and I should be getting ready to pick up Ciara from school. Her piano lessons end at four. She’ll want to show me what she learned as soon as she gets home. It makes me happy that she loves music so much. Music and swimming – she can never get enough of either. Khuthi was very different from her. If he wasn’t playing soccer, he was