Stay Present!
My best advice for tuning into yourself/your soul/universal intelligence is to take time each day and just be still and quiet. I like to sit and meditate, and often meditate while walking in nature. Turn off all distractions. Unplug from the world for a little while. Feel the rhythm of the universe. Walk barefoot on the beach. Listen to the waves. Gaze up at the stars. Get out of your mind and be present. Stop thinking about the past or worrying about the future, and stop over-analyzing things. Keep it simple! It is from this space that we will discover and know our essence, our truth, and find the answers and actions that are right for us, that no other person, no book, no course, nothing else could ever give us.
Surround Yourself with Positive People!
Surround yourself with positive people who have done or are doing courageous or seemingly off-the-wall things that make you stop and say, Wow, why didn’t I think of that? This includes those who can inspire you to dream big and do more with your life and God-given talent.
The positive energy from people who think and dream big, and then go for it, is sure to rub off.
My dad used to tell the story of a guy at his country club on Long Island back in the 1970s who was looking for investors in what he and a couple partners were saying would become a chain of “gigantic hardware stores.” My dad said most of the people were beyond skeptical. The guy was Ken Langone, one of the founders of Home Depot. Bottom line: ignore most if not all the cracks from the peanut gallery, and the next time you come up with what might seem like a crazy idea it might not be so crazy!
Believe in Yourself!
I would have been the first person to bet against Fred Bollaci losing 150 pounds, not just in a year—but ever! I would have bet against a hundred pounds, even losing and keeping fifty pounds off. I was also surrounded by people who would have bet against it too. People who knew me all my life knew I had a problem with my weight. I had been heavy so long that people only saw me as “the fat guy.” I had even forgotten what it was like to be “normal.” After my awakening and challenge from “The Other Side” to get my act together, I was more determined than ever and knew with every fiber of my being that I was not a quitter and would never give up on something I believed strongly in. We have to be our own best friends, champions, and advocates. When everyone else around us is telling us we can’t, we have to show them what we already believe that we can! Unfortunately, this is not always easy.
Never Give Up!
When the home team is losing and a comeback seems unlikely, the stands tend to empty rather quickly. Just like in sports, I never gave up. Even when it seemed like I was a one-man team, I didn’t give up on losing weight or on publishing my book. Neither did God, or the universe, or my soul. It’s like in baseball; I was down to the final strike of my final out when wham, I hit the ball out of the park and won the game! I’ve done this several times in my life. Each time I was literally standing on the edge of what seemed like the great abyss, when, low and behold, I was able to do something that before seemed impossible or a solution miraculously appeared, which led me to places and experiences I never could have imagined. It was like I literally pulled the rabbit out of the same darn hat that I swore had nothing in it. This is where our souls come in. We’ve got all the tools in our toolbox that we could ever need. We just have to trust they are there, and we will be shown exactly what we need at any given time. I now believe everything happens for a reason—the good, and the seemingly bad.
Love Yourself No Matter What!
Had my life not gotten so far “off track” in the first place, had I not gotten to be 150 pounds overweight and been so miserable, I never would have found the impetus to dive deep, find my inner strength, work tirelessly, and stop at nothing to improve my life and find my true purpose, which I am still working toward every day. It turns out my true purpose was definitely not to die prematurely from the effects of obesity.
Any quest to better ourselves and live a healthier, more fulfilling life doesn’t end when we reach a healthy weight. To realize our full potential, our path to a better life will last the rest of our lives. Getting on a healthier, happier path is part of the secret to weight loss success, but whether you need to lose weight or not, anyone can take positive action to improve every area of their lives. Working toward becoming better versions of ourselves is a noble goal, and whatever our background or issues, when we embrace this goal wholeheartedly, we begin to realize that we are miraculous and there is way more to us than exterior stuff, like our weight or our looks. And while getting to a healthy weight and staying there is an important part of being healthy, there is so much more to living a rewarding life than just being at a certain number on the scale or fitting into an old pair of skinny jeans.
Make Self-Love Your Mantra
Start by loving yourself. Okay, maybe liking yourself at first—you will start to love yourself as you get to know and transform the real “you” into a better version of yourself as you work to get healthier. Embracing self-love will make losing weight and any endeavor we embark on so much easier. This all starts with acceptance. Sometimes we need to tell ourselves just how special we are. Tell yourself “I love you!” Write notes and post them where you can see them.
I used to always put myself down. I was very nasty and intolerant of myself and spoke very poorly to myself, maybe not out loud, but I frequently told myself I was a failure, or a loser, or many other choice unflattering terms. Anytime something didn’t go my way, I would blame and yell at myself and call myself something very bad, or worse, which only reinforced my self-loathing. We all make mistakes. Instead of chewing myself out, I started to say things like, It’s okay, what can you learn from this or do differently next time? Let it go. What’s done is done. Nobody’s perfect. Turn it around! Start by honoring and respecting yourself. Start saying good things to yourself. Start believing in yourself. If you want the world to love, honor, and respect you, you’ve got to take the initiative and show the world you are worthy of being loved, honored, and respected. It begins within us.
Accept Yourself! Leave the Baggage Behind!
Accept yourself exactly as you are—possibly overweight, possibly with things like suitcases full of guilt, shame, anger, hurt, rage, resentment, you name it that you need to deal with and let go! There is no place for any of these in the new life you are striving to create! Sort through the baggage, preferably with a qualified therapist, make amends, forgive others, forgive yourself, and let the past stay there! You are building an entirely new life; you want a solid foundation to build upon.
Set Your Intention: A Positive Intention Yields Positive Results
To be successful, we have to set positive intentions. When you make self-love and self-improvement your intention for doing something, whether it be losing weight, starting a business, or cashing in all our chips and going on a three-year trip around the world, you cannot fail. You can have setbacks, we all do, but when we love ourselves and want to be better, we can do anything. We will learn from our mistakes and will make changes in order to hopefully do better, rather than beating ourselves up or giving up, which is what happens to many of us when we try to diet.
With most diets, the typical intention is to lose a certain amount of weight in a certain amount of time by eating less (often eating foods we don’t much like) and exercising more (meaning we didn’t exercise enough). As far as food goes, we are setting ourselves up to feel deprived (and resentful), and as far as exercise, we are coming from a place of lack, so feeling like we are “forced” to do more also puts us subconsciously in a place of resentment. Instead, begin your transformation from a place of acceptance, abundance, self-love, and a desire to feel better and do more with your life.
Look at the Big Picture!
Life’s inevitable troubles, difficulties, and stress