The Restaurant Diet. Fred Bollaci

allows me to be totally real. I need to eat, I like meeting and talking to people, and where better to share my story than in restaurants? These people at my Naples event wanted to not only buy me dinner, they were willing to pay my hourly consultation rate for my time to eat with them in one of their favorite restaurants and show them in real time exactly how The Restaurant Diet works! We went to dinner the following week. They each brought along a notepad and wrote down exactly what I shared with them as we enjoyed what turned out to be a healthy, delicious meal in a wonderful restaurant! I am now offering this service to clients throughout Florida and in other areas when I am traveling.

      Another honor was receiving The People of Distinction Humanitarian Award from Al Cole of CBS Radio. I had the pleasure of speaking to a packed house of several hundred attendees along with a dozen or so other authors, entrepreneurs, and people who have made a positive difference in the lives of others. I was honored for my work speaking to and coaching people with weight loss issues, as well as my talks about the effects of bullying. As you will read, growing up the fattest kid in middle school led me to be teased and bullied mercilessly, which further crushed my already low self-esteem and affected my self-image and perception for years after.

      For the best chance at lasting success, we need to truly accept, value, believe in, trust, and love ourselves. 100 percent. All the time. No matter what. On our best days and on our worst days. We need to remember that we are still human, which isn’t a pass to screw up or not take responsibility but a reminder that allows us to be gentle and honest with ourselves when we inevitably do make a mistake, so that we can examine it, learn from it, and strive to do better. Becoming better human beings is a lifelong process. You don’t just instantly get better. Becoming a better version of ourselves is like becoming better at anything—it takes practice, practice, practice. There will be times we fail, and times we soar, but so long as we learn from our perceived failures, we really can’t call them failures, now can we? Growth and self-improvement are not always a linear process. Tomorrow might not be as good as today, but as long as the overall trajectory is in a positive direction, we can treat any perceived setback or challenge as a learning opportunity.

      There Is Opportunity in Every Challenge

      I no longer look at my previous diets as failures or things I wish I had done differently in any area of my life as mistakes. Sure, there are a lot of things I would like to take back, or do over, but can’t. All I can do is learn the lessons I was meant to learn, and do better the next time. Life tends to keep throwing us the same kind of pitches until we finally figure out how to hit it out of the park!

      Today, I am blessed to have an amazing life I have worked hard to have and am continuing to work even harder every day to keep progressing on my journey and sharing my wisdom with others. I’ve found the best way to keep what I have and to practice the lifestyle I am living is to literally practice it, build and improve upon it every single day, not fret the small stuff, love and take care of myself, live the best life I can, and share it with others. The reward of a life well lived and shared with others is a greater reward than money.

      Introducing You!

      Perhaps the most remarkable part of this entire journey is getting to meet yourself, a better version of yourself than you ever thought possible. Good-looking, funny, witty, athletic, compassionate: you’ll be amazed at what you’re really made of! You will be someone you would want to meet, want to get to know, want to hang out with, and want to love! The reality is you already are all of these things. We all are. We just need to look inside and claim who we really are!

      Today, I have found someone that totally gets me, loves me unconditionally, and fulfills all my needs. This person is honest with me and calls me out when necessary, and, no matter what setbacks occur, encourages me to dust myself off and keep going, trying my best to do better than before. This person is ME. Any external things, like selling a million books, getting a law degree, driving a nice car, taking a lovely vacation, living in an expensive home, buying nice clothes, having a beautiful girlfriend—are all nice, yet they are all external to ourselves, and none of these things will ever make us “feel” whole. We are the only ones who can do that. Once we learn that we have the power and we alone hold the keys to our happiness, life becomes so much simpler. It all comes down to LOVE. SELF-LOVE. When we truly love ourselves, the rest of the world loves us back. You get back what you give. Start by looking within and realizing you always were, you are, and always will be everything you need.

      Start with a Clean Plate!

      To be successful at losing weight and transforming your life, I suggest starting not with a clean slate, but a clean plate! Before starting your “diet” or what I prefer to call a “weight loss journey,” I encourage you to disregard most of what you think you know or have read or have been told about weight loss. Forget about all the times you’ve tried to lose weight and hated it, gained it back, etc. Decide once and for all that you are going to enjoy your weight loss journey and make your personal transformation and journey of self-discovery THE most exciting and fabulous thing you will ever do! I wish you the best of luck, though we really don’t need “luck.” We have every tool we need right inside ourselves to do and become anything we truly desire.

      Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.

      —Democritus

Chapter Two

      Fat Fred

      In response to the overwhelmingly positive feedback I have received from numerous attendees at my events—including coaching clients who got to hear more about my story firsthand and notes from readers asking to learn more about my background—I have decided to add in a bit more about me. They wanted to learn how I grew up, how I learned to love food, how my love of food turned into an unhealthy addiction, some of the diets that didn’t work which helped me find one that did, and what finally got me to change my life. People are curious by nature. It totally makes sense to be inquisitive if you are looking for someone to help you lose weight. It may be helpful to understand more about where I came from, how I struggled with weight issues, what I did to overcome them, and how my experience can benefit you. I am honored that so many people want to know more about me, so I will share more of my personal story and background with you in the second edition of The Restaurant Diet.

      I agree that to be someone my readers can relate to and identify with (especially when trusting me to provide advice about how to lose weight and get healthier in body, mind, and spirit) you should know more about me than a brief biography. You should have a look inside my soul, for that is where I found the strength to begin this journey and continue the many times, I felt it would be easier to give up! I tell my readers to dive deep and look within. Recovery from overeating or any addiction is an “inside job.” I’m asking you to do this, so it’s only right that I share more of what makes me who I am, and how I am able to do what I am doing.

      We all start somewhere, so let’s start at the beginning.

      Growing Up a Foodie

      I used to think I was destined to be fat: It was in my DNA. Many of my relatives were overweight. I like to eat. I am Italian American, so I could not give up pasta and pizza. I am a gourmet. I love to cook. And I love to eat out in the best restaurants. I had every built-in excuse and reason imaginable.

      I grew up surrounded by good food.