Help Me Hold Onto This. Zachary Leonard

to string words together but my brain was at a total loss. I pulled out my wallet and laid cash out on the table to pay for my meal and drink. “I, ah, I hope you have a nice rest of your day, okay?”

      “Oh, I have offended you haven’t I? I mean it in a nice way I swear to you I do.”

      “I’m okay actually. Thank you though,” I said and once again my eyes rolled as I walked away from another horrible date.

      I pulled my phone out, and instead of only deleting Alex, I hard-pressed the app and deleted it from my phone altogether.

      I woke late the next morning to a text from Jon, “What time can I pick you up for the party today?” I forgot I had committed to going. It was Sunday. I wanted to lie in bed all day.

      “I can be ready in an hour,” I said knowing I could get ready in thirty minutes but needed a little more time on my pillow.

      “Okay. How did your date go?”

      “I don’t want to talk about it,” I typed and hit send.

      I sat down in the shower while the hot water drowned me. I felt stupid for thinking that after almost four years of dating no one, that I could jump right in and find the love of my life. Is that even what I wanted? Maybe I was just looking for some excitement. If that was all I was trying to find, I had definitely found it.

      When I got to the party full of people who were Jon’s friends but only casual acquaintances with me, I didn’t feel like socializing. I had changed my shirt at least four times that morning, and still I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin.

      I sat alone in a big chair in the corner of the room and people watched. I admired how everyone seemed to feel comfortable. How everything flowed, and I wished I could just do the same.

      A boy in funky blue pants and a t-shirt approached me and sat on the arm of my chair. “Hey there,” he said confidently. “What’re you doing over here all alone?”

      “Oh, I’m just you know, ahh, people watching. I’m not feeling too social today, I guess.” His eyes were a piercing cerulean and he had a long lean torso and bouncy curls on top of his head.

      We introduced ourselves and chatted through the rest of the event. We flirted over cups of sangria and at the end of the day, we exchanged numbers.

      “I hope to hear from you,” he said to me in front of the apartment complex. “I had a nice time with you today."

      “I had a nice time too.” We hugged and when we moved to walk our own ways we found ourselves walking in the same direction.

      “Oops!” He said with a laugh. “Where about do you live?”

      “On 10 and 43,” I said. “You?”

      “I’m three blocks up,” he said. “Come on I’ll walk with ya.”

      He took my hand, and I blushed the entire twenty block walk home.