28 Minutes to Midnight. Thomas Mahon

few candles to create a romantic ambiance, and be sure to play some soft music. Next, purchase a biohazard waste bag for proper condom disposal and place this next to the bed. Make sure the two shower after their session. When the cognitive dissonance kicks in (and it will), justify what you’re doing with excuses like, Kids these days are different. They do as they please, and we can’t stop them. I’m just being a responsible parent by making these activities as safe as possible. Tell yourself that the parents who try to keep their children from having sex and from drinking are just deluding themselves. You know, deep down, that those kids are just as out of control as yours.

      Of course, these suggestions are so insulting to informed and ethical parents, I’m almost embarrassed to write them. Yet, there are aspects of the list that speak volumes about some people’s attitudes toward raising their kids. And consider this: their kids, at some future date, may be seeking out your kids for sexual activity— with their parents’ blessings, in fact.

      So what’s the answer to protecting our kids? Let’s start with morals, education, self-discipline and a high-achieving attitude. Kilpatrick, in his book Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right From Wrong, shows us that high-achieving students (Who’s Who Among America’s High School Students), at a clip of 73%, had not engaged in sexual intercourse.⁶ Apparently these kids are disciplined (as evidenced by their grades), they know where they’re going, they’ve mapped out their future, and they’re not going to let anything (and that includes getting pregnant or acquiring sexually transmitted diseases) get in their way. Again Kilpatrick shows us that, in Japan (certainly a high achieving culture), just 17% of non-married girls under the age of twenty had had sexual intercourse, compared with the 65% rate of American girls.⁷

      It would behoove American parents to develop and nurture a high-achieving attitude in each one of their children. Incidentally, that does not include how many parties one can attend in a summer, how many different sex partners they can bed before they graduate or even how many beers they can down on a Saturday night. That’s simply moronic.

      And, for heaven’s sake, start the life lessons early. Very early. If brats are trained so effectively starting at a young age, why can’t we do the same with responsible kids? We should not wait until our kids have reached the age of puberty to talk to them about sex or drugs. We need to hammer home, at every possible opportunity, respect, decency, modesty and how to face down peer pressure. An educated and ethical teen is worth his weight in gold. He’s worth more than a hundred condoms rolled into one—worth more than all of the birth control strategies combined. No birth control method, no anti-STD product on the market today can fully match wits with a dangerous germ or virus. However, our teenagers, armed with education, wisdom, self-discipline and morals are more than a match for any bug, germ or virus. They’re more than a match for anyone peddling drugs or alcohol. In fact, it’s not even a contest.

      And the passive parent? The parent who cannot say ‘no’ to their kids? The parent who claims that safety is their highest priority; therefore, they will allow their kids to do almost anything as long as it’s under their supervision? The parent who has taken the easy way out, and failed to instill morals, common sense or self-discipline?

      Good luck.

      Just don’t be surprised when the roof caves in.