As an example, to ingest the years, countries, participants and major figures of World War II is not the same as understanding the causes, choices and outcomes of that global conflict as they manifested themselves in 1945 and for years and decades afterward. Today it is easier than ever to access information in the nature of “what” and “when,” the facts of a topic, if you will. What I see time and time again, though, are the ways in which that 24/7 tsunami of data threatens to drown the more valuable wisdom and understanding that are only accomplished through the journey to discover the “why” and “how” of a topic.
What drew me to Homework Sanity at the inception was that it is not limited in scope to succeeding in math or English or any single topic. Rather, it is an invaluable approach to learning and using the organic environment of the home and parental guidance to create and develop children who are lifetime learners. The ability to learn, to drill down beyond surface information, to nurture and quench curiosity are the skills that will lead coming generations to success, happiness and fulfillment.
For all of the reasons I have listed, it was a quick and easy decision when Roger asked me to come aboard this project, one that I suspect will soon be more properly referred to as a “movement.” I continue to work in the classroom and hope that I always will, but to be a part of Homework Sanity—to have the opportunity to contribute to at least a small ripple in improving learning skills in a multitude of cultures and countries—is a gift from the universe beyond what I could have foreseen.
A lot of what you will read in the pages will feel awkward, new and maybe even counterintuitive. I hope we will build and justify your trust enough to try them. We are confident that if you do, you will see one or more of the changes you are hoping for.
Greg and I agreed that having Amy add a few paragraphs would be a smart addition.
I truly believe that there are no accidents in life. Even when there are negatives, they usually lead to positives if our intentions are pure and our minds are willing to open up and learn. My eldest niece was entering middle school and having academic issues that no one could tackle—no one except Roger. I had seen a number of tutors come and go from my sister’s home, but none of them seemed to have that magic touch. With my degrees in English and education, I even thought I would be able to help, but it didn’t prove to be that easy. My niece didn’t need someone checking that all of her answers were correct so her grade would improve; she needed help letting go of her anxiety and realizing that everyone learns differently.
Roger didn’t just help her raise her grade, that would have been a superficial result; he helped her change the way she thinks and approaches challenges, which proved to be a much more meaningful lesson. Equipped with her new outlook and tools, she was given the opportunity to see her grades improve on their own. There was no pushing, no dictating and no anguish over the process, just a new lens with which to view the situation.
Roger not only comes from a place of “yes,” but he also has the unique gift of showing others how to do that, as well. Empowering the kids around us to create a positive place of learning is our goal. By working together, this “movement” will surely result in lifelong learners who will not only flourish in the school setting, but also in life as a whole.
With all that said, I hope you enjoy the book.
Structure of the Book
Homework Sanity is engineered for parents to get a handle on looking at the problems they face in a new light, before jumping into solving the problem. Homework Sanity addresses the challenge of letting go of being a parent and moving into a healthy educational partnership with your child.
“Faith” within the context of this book isn’t religious in nature. Faith is a higher form of trust. Trust that these tools will work for you just as well as they’ve worked for hundreds of other parents around the world.
Success Stories and Interesting Facts are bonus sections for providing parents with the hope, inspiration, courage and power needed to let go of old parenting ideas as applied to their child’s education. Moving from parenting to partnering with your child may not be easy. Yet it is the natural flow of life. This is why it works: because of the alignment with nature. Going “with” versus “against” nature may be painful in the beginning, but the fruit it bears in the end is joy, harmony, happiness, laughter and love.
Definitions is a fun section to give my perspective on how I view these words within the context of this writing.
The Main Point provides parents with tools to partner with rather than parent their children within the world of school. Different belief systems take understanding, then action for the most positive results. Practicing these techniques until they become habit is the fun part of the journey. This approach ultimately reduces stress and creates a path for short- and long-term harmony between parent and child by forming a strong group dynamic, powerful enough to endure any outside challenge.
Leaving the excitement of chaos is never easy. Sometimes we’re in the mess for so long that we begin to believe this is simply the way the world works. Peace, joy and pleasure are how things are supposed to be. The rug we want to pull out from underneath ourselves is the rug of despair.
The Situation Viewed from My Eyes covers direct experiences I’ve encountered, been challenged by, and overcome as an international tutor. This is a combination of ever-changing opinion based on various facts discovered on my expeditions.
Parent Challenges I’ve Noticed uncovers things I see parents struggle with the most, until they implement changes. It addresses unique issues faced by different categories of parents: single parents who are also teachers, wealthy parents, high profile, middle class, diplomatic or poor parents, and other unique situations.
Challenges Children Have Shared is a way for me to divulge previously confidential information that children don’t want their parents to know. School situations have a way of putting children into a double bind in which the easier choice is to become dishonest by withholding information. The child, of course, doesn’t realize that the parent is really just looking for the truth. Children also struggle with the concept that we were ever children in their situation. This is true. We were children in a different age, time and place.
Tools for Overcoming These Challenge s is filled with real-world solutions that have worked with all types of children. When applied, parents will certainly see movement in a positive direction.
Suggested Checklist provides seven important checklists so you don’t have to go crazy remembering every detail from the previous pages.
The philosophy contained in these pages is filled with observations, opinions and real-world experiences from my journey as a tutor combined with my experience working with children in improvisational acting training. While you may not agree with some of the content, total agreement is not the primary purpose of this writing. Successful learning techniques and emboldened students and children on the path to becoming learned, confident adults are what I hope are our mutual purposes.
In sharing my experiences, I’m letting you know what I’ve seen succeed, fail and change children. This approach allows me to defuse/diffuse critics who may feel I’m trying to explain the state of education. Those readers are missing the point. The title of this book isn’t * Let’s Form A Mob and Take Down the Entire System Because It Doesn’t Work, Then After It Is All Torn Down Let’s Try to Figure Out How to Show Our Children a Better Life by Teaching Them Around the Rubble, Smoke, Fires and Tear Gas. * That’s a different book, not this one.
I’m not writing to the people who’ve created the mess. I’m not even attacking them for creating the mess. I’ve accepted the mess. I’m writing to the parents of children throughout the world who are challenged by the day-to-day nonsense of the mess called education.
This