STARTING TO USE YOUR RIGHT NAME AND PRONOUN
Asking people to start using a different name and pronouns can often be difficult, whether it’s your family, friends, people at school or work colleagues. When it comes down to your school or work, there are certain laws that state trans people deserve to be respected in their gender. This might mean they help you inform other school staff or your colleagues that you’re changing your name and pronouns and make an effort to ensure your identity is respected. Some schools and workplaces have policies, programmes or counsellors already in place to support their trans students or employees. If they do, it is often a good indication that you will be supported.
If your school or workplace is not supporting your decision and makes things difficult for you, we encourage you to contact organisations such as Stonewall, Gendered Intelligence, Diversity Role Models, Mermaids or any other organisation fighting for trans rights (see Chapter 19 for details). They often have programmes that your school or workplace can join, to combat prejudice. They might be able to help you to raise awareness, get some advice and set up a support group, or they may step in where needed.
CHANGING YOUR NAME LEGALLY
Changing your name legally is supposed to be quite an easy process and is accessible for everyone. It involves a lot of official form-filling though, which can be quite daunting and time-consuming. There might be some costs included in the application, so be prepared for this possibility. If you have access to the internet, you can do this for free (see ‘Useful links’ at the end of this chapter).
The process is relatively simple and there aren’t many restrictions, aside from names that include numbers, or something really offensive or vulgar. Naming yourself ‘L4na’ wouldn’t fly, for example.
In England and Wales, anyone over 16 years of age can apply for their own name change through the UK Deed Poll Service without parental consent. If you are under 16, your parents or those with parental responsibility will have to apply for the change and agree on it, provided that everyone with parental responsibility agrees to the change. You can also change the title on the deed poll to all formally accepted titles, including Mr, Ms and Mx (a gender neutral title).
There are several ways to apply, which includes doing it online, over the telephone, sending an application by post or simply going to the UK Deed Poll Offices and applying in person. The website is quite self-explanatory and has all the information you will need to change your name (see ‘Useful links’ at the end of this chapter). So when you’re ready and if you wish, you can go through the process and have your name changed, given that you’ve reached the age of 16 or have full parental support for it. Scotland and Northern Ireland have a slightly different process, and all information can be found in the ‘useful links’ section at the end of the chapter.
Different countries all over the world have different regulations and access to name changes. There will most likely be other rules or even restrictions that apply elsewhere. For example, in certain countries it might be much harder to change your name as they have different regulations about name changes that are often tied up with cultural norms about names. We suggest you contact bigger LGBTQIA+ or trans organisations in order to find out how things work where you are.
CHANGING YOUR GENDER LEGALLY
Changing your gender on your ID, passport and driving licence is quite easy as well, even though it takes a lot of form-filling and there are some age restrictions.
Once you change your name, the easiest thing to change will be your bank details. So if you have a bank account, you just need to go in with the name change document and they will change your registered name on your bank account and issue new cards.
To change the gender (and name) on your passport in the UK (see ‘Useful links’ at the end of this chapter), you will need some sort of proof that you are indeed living as your authentic self. This can either be a Gender Recognition Certificate, which is acquired through an application process, or a signed letter from your doctor or medical consultant along with your new deed poll and evidence that you’re using your new name (payslip, letter from your local council or an official letter with your new name).
To change your driving licence, you must first obviously have one! If you are getting a driving licence for the first time and you’ve already changed your name and started living as yourself, you can get your driving licence issued according to your gender and name. If you already have a driving licence and want to change it, you can do so by means of a simple application process which requires you to fill in a few forms and which does have some fees.
To have your gender fully recognised according to UK law, you must apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate. According to the government website, in order to get one you need to:
- be 18 years or over
- have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria from a medical professional
- have lived as your authentic self for at least two years and intend to do so for the rest of your life (bizarre wording, we know).
This will then be reviewed by a panel of people that you won’t ever have to meet – strange as that is. All further information can be found online (see ‘Useful links’ at the end of this chapter).
As mentioned above with name changes, different countries have different laws and regulations. Some countries might have a relatively easy process, whereas others might have more restrictions or even make it impossible for you to change your gender legally.
If you’re looking to change your gender legally, the best course of action is to contact LGBTQIA+ or trans organisations, which will most likely be able to give you all the information you need.
Fox Fisher
USEFUL LINKS
How to get a Gender Recognition Certificate: www.gov.uk/apply-gender-recognition-certificate
How to apply for a name change: www.deedpoll.org.uk
How to change your name for free: https://freedeedpoll.org.uk
How to change your name or personal details on your passport: www.gov.uk/changing-passport-information/gender
You’re a trans guy but you still want to present in a feminine way? Perfectly fine. You’re non binary but you feel most comfortable expressing yourself in a masculine way? Go for it! You’re a trans girl and you want nothing more than to be a girly girl and do all the girly things? You go, girl!
Being you – whoever that is – is the most important thing. Allow yourself to explore and live out your identity, whether or not that falls into social norms. You don’t have to be tied down by outdated gender roles on how boys, girls or non binary people should look and behave. There are so many of us, and we really don’t have time to be put in yet another box that doesn’t fit us. Life’s too short. So while some of the things mentioned below might seem extremely stereotypical, they offer you an insight into gender expressions and ways of dressing that will portray femininity, masculinity and androgyny according to the norms of society. Just remember that no gender expression belongs to any gender and that anyone can use any of these tips or clothing to express themselves. Have fun with it. Mix and match. And do note that all of these suggestions can also be seen as something completely different. It’s all about how you do it and how you see it.