In a later chapter, I spend a lot of time describing my Humor Team and the valuable role they played in my recovery. One of my team members reminded me early on that, “I was no longer in control of my life, but life was controlling me. I was being told where to go, when to go and what was going to happen when I got there.” I reflected on her words for a while and was reminded of the saying I use so many times with my family, friends and in workshops I present, “You cannot change other people, you can only change how you respond to other people”. I realized that this was the same situation but with different terms. I knew first of all, and most importantly, that I have choices!!! If I chose to follow the most effective path to recovery I would have to lose some of my stubborn independence and rely on others. I could not change what was happening; I could only change how I responded to the situation.
Throughout it all, the greatest lesson I have learned is that there is great healing power in love and laughter. From my own personal relationship with God, to the many small celebrations of life, to the valuable lessons my own Humor Team taught me during a difficult time - I am forever grateful and very thankful!!!
It is my most heartfelt desire that by sharing this story and embracing the ideas in this book, your life, or the lives of those you love will somehow be more positive. Whether it is breast cancer recovery, or any other challenge you face in your life, I pray you will indeed be better equipped and able to find the Lighter Side of Recovery. Wishing you many blessings! Now, on with the story…
Lesson One - Don’t put off your yearly exams. Use your birthday as a good reminder, and if you can’t remember your own birthday, check that birth certificate and write it down. There are times when we have to be a little forceful in asking for an appointment, but be persistent and MAKE THE CALL – SCHEDULE THE APPOINTMENTS!!!
During the month of October, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many areas offer special programs, including free mammograms. If this is a concern of yours, please check with your healthcare providers for additional information.
Breast cancer is not strictly a “woman’s disease”. According to the 2010 statistics from the American Cancer Society, nearly 2,000 new cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in American men, compared to 207,000 cases of invasive breast cancer in American women.
Chapter One
Beginning the Journey
“The world is full of suffering. It is also full of the overcoming of it.” — Helen Keller
My personal journey started on September 14, 2001. Personally, I won’t call it a battle, more of a journey, or going down a path of unknown destination, but you must use your own terminology for comfort.
Actually, it had started a few months before when I noticed my once perky nipple decided it wanted to turn into an “inny”. I noticed an indentation that seemed to be getting deeper as the weeks went on. I was adamant about getting the recommended female exams every year around my birthday (this seemed to be the least painful and less taxing on the brain to remember each year). I figured as long as I could remember when my birthday was, I could remember to get the exam.
On July 12 (my birthday is actually July 22, for any of you card-crazy people out there!) I went to the doctor’s office for the check-up. I usually saw the Physician’s Assistant, since she was the only female in the office, so this visit was no different.
I told her right away about the perky traitor that decided to turn “inny” on me. She felt the breast and said that she didn’t see anything to be concerned about (boy, was she wrong!). Since she didn’t see any reason for concern, she wasn’t in a hurry to make a mammogram appointment, and said I could do it whenever I got a chance. The pap went fine and I told her I would call for the mammogram appointment later in the week. She indicated again that there was no hurry, and I told her I would rather stay regular with my appointment, so I would make the arrangements. It took a little over two months to get an appointment for a mammogram. See Lesson One – be persistent!
On Friday, September 14, 2001, I arrived at the local Breast Care Center for the mammogram. Women have individual experiences with a mammogram. For some, there is pain due to the squishing of the breast. Maybe squish is a harsh word, but it seems to me to be the most accurate! For others, there is slight discomfort. Let’s face it, they are taking a body part and making it one third of its natural size so, yes, there is discomfort associated with this process. Yet, others don’t feel much of anything. I haven’t personally met any of those women, but the statistics show they do exist. Whatever your level of pain or discomfort, it lasts less than five minutes, and can truly save your life – it is worth the time and effort!! Back to Lesson One!
I am one of the women who feel some slight discomfort. The process went quickly and I went on my merry way. I look back now and realize how very close I was to canceling that mammogram appointment. I was leaving town to visit my family in Ohio and attend a family reunion. I wanted to leave a day early, but decided I should stay the extra day and not cancel the mammogram. I am so thankful now that I kept THAT appointment!
I went on my visit to Ohio and returned Sunday night. On Monday I received a call that there was “an area of distortion” on my mammogram and they wanted me to come in for another check. I thought it simply meant that one of the films was messed up and they just wanted another Kodak moment with my breasts.
Since this was a follow-up to an abnormal mammy, (by this time we all know what it is called so let’s shorten it to mammy) the follow-up exam was scheduled for Thursday of that week, September 20, 2001.
Meeting Dr. G
When I arrived, I went through the usual “undress from the waist up, put the gown on and wait in the booth until we call your name”. The technician came to get me and the appropriate photos were taken. I was just hoping they got my good side. The technician then took me into another room to meet with a doctor to get an ultrasound. Hmm, this wasn’t going the same way they usually do – I knew something was not quite right, but I was hoping they were just being extra careful.
I jumped up onto the table as instructed. All right I know you can’t “jump” in those gowns without falling out, so I gingerly stepped on the step stool and “scooched” onto the table! The doctor arrived; I will refer to him as Dr. G to maintain his privacy. He was a good-looking guy so I thought, “Well, the time spent isn’t a complete loss,” and he indicated that the mammy had actually picked up something that he wanted to check out with the ultrasound. I still wasn’t concerned.
He did the ultrasound on the “inny” breast and asked me to go ahead and put the gown back on so we could talk about the results. I didn’t even realize I was only half dressed. What he was doing was really interesting. In fact, the whole process was really interesting; I just wish we were talking about someone else!!
He showed me the film from the previous year and what they were picking up on the current mammy. There was a small area circled that was the “area of concern”. Had it not been circled, I don’t know that I would have even noticed the difference. It didn’t look like a lump or bump, but more like a tiny explosion on the film. He told me he didn’t know exactly what he was looking at, but knew that if he took a needle biopsy and it came back negative he really wouldn’t believe the results. Thank goodness he was a doubter!!! He said he wanted me to see a surgeon, and he expected the surgeon to suggest a surgical biopsy to see exactly what we were dealing with in the “inny” breast.
I mentioned that I had gone to see a Dr. B for another unrelated question a few years ago, and although I had only seen him briefly at that time, I thought I would go back to see him. Dr. G told me that he had a great deal of respect for Dr. B and that Dr. B was one of the best. That certainly gave me a little more comfort coming from one breast guy about another.
When