Tony's extreme dissatisfaction with his life and his job led him to write the company owners and ask about their plans for his future advancement. The firm's vague answer opened the door to our next plans. A Texas company had offered me a position as their first woman executive. We had opened a distributorship for the company in Arkansas and had done quite well. Tony and I decided my job offer would give him an opportunity in a new area. After all, to succeed in his own eyes he had to get away from the town where he'd been "Bonnie's husband." So I accepted the position as a development director with the Texas company and we moved. Tony was pleased to land a job with a smaller company, which he thought he would enjoy more. But it was MY employer who financed our relocation.
People asked about my husband's plans, and I replied I was the one who was moving, and the family moved with me. A women's magazine wanted to do a story about the fact that we moved with my job, but I kept procrastinating. I was proud of being the first woman executive with the company, yet at the same time a nagging guilt feeling reminded me I had not been submissive to Tony. I was calling the shots for our family and it didn't feel good.
Why?
Our arrival in Waco brought a few new challenges. In the circles we were introduced into, it seemed that if our family had not lived in the city for several generations, we were not considered "insiders." Well, if we couldn't be members of the inner circle, we could at least be successful. And if success was to be determined by profit, perhaps what we needed was to make more money.
As a result, I worked hard and the president of the company sent me a note that said:
Re: Being a Champion again
Bonnie, what are we going to do? Two-thirds of the department's production from a 100-some-odd-pound gal!! Congratulations on the practically $50,000 production cash in the pay period! I'm excited to see you back on top and the leader, where you belong.
I'm counting on you to maintain this position. It is approaching Thanksgiving and we have a lot to be thankful for ...your future in this company...
This was the kind of motivation I lived for! I enjoyed the fact that I had the position of leader. I always wanted to win. Way down inside of me, though, the loneliness grew.
One autumn, searching for something deeper, something of lasting value, we attended an Institute of Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar at the local convention center. In one of the sessions the instructor talked about a new concept--new for me at least. He said that when wives submitted themselves to their husbands and the husbands were submitted to Christ, the wives were under "God's umbrella of protection." What a strange concept, I thought. Could there be anything to this method? Probably not, I decided defensively. After all, I was interested in adding to my own power and prestige. And yet something new stirred inside my mind....
If all my efforts (sincere ones) had failed to produce any peace, was it even possible for me to find a valid place to invest my efforts? Judging from the RESULTS of my search, I wondered what parts of it might have been misdirected. Could God have been guiding any part of my life? Which portions?
Was it possible that power, position, and prestige really were Poverty P's? Was I on skid row emotionally, mentally, and intellectually when I felt the "P's" would make me happy?
Poverty is the state of being below comfortable living, as when one is sunk in depression and unhappiness. Was poverty really the lack of a Supreme Being living inside of me?
No! People admire cars, furs, and diamonds! That's for ME!
But, I first evaluated and listed the Poverty P's in my own life. What really made me happy?
ANALYSIS-ACTION
From my experience chasing power, position and prestige, I learned that it was possible to have all three, and still not be happy. Poverty, I found out, was anything that did not bring the happiness and satisfaction, the love, joy and peace that I would have so like to have had and felt.
But what are the poverty producers in your life?
•Is it watching soap operas and other T.V. shows?
•Is it making a beautiful dessert for the bridge club?
•Being president of clubs?
•Winning sales awards?
•Do the things you spend time and effort on take time away from your family?
•Do you have things scheduled each night that have nothing to do with your mate or children?
•Do seemingly “good” projects like counseling in church or serving on boards for juvenile delinquents rob your family of time that really belongs to them?
Use the following chart to write all your time use down. Evaluate what might be changed—even list new activities, ones centered around your family. You may get a surprise. You may find a new set of “P”s to replace the old ones. You may find the prestige of having your mate love and respect you, the kids proud they are yours. Power? What more power is there than to have fruitful control of your time!
(see chart below)
| DAILY GOAL AND TIME USE ANALYSIS | |
| GOAL TIME WASTED CHANGE BENEFITS | |
| 6 a.m. | |
| 7 a.m. | |
| 8 a.m. | |
| 9 a.m. | |
| 10 a.m. | |
| 11 a.m. | |
| 12 p.m. | |
| 1 p.m. | |
| 2 p.m. | |
| 3 p.m. | |
| 4 p.m. | |
| 5 p.m. | |
| 6 p.m. | |
| 7 p.m. | |
| 8 p.m. | |
| 9 p.m. | |