Make Up Your Mind to Be Happy. Josie Varga

earth's natural terrain barefoot. Their bodies were so in tune with nature that they could easily walk over stones and tree branches. Doing so not only helped them survive during those primitive times, but it helped them develop a deep connection to the earth and fostered spiritual well-being.

      I love the feeling of calmness that I experience when I walk on the beach barefoot. The sand and pebbles caressing my toes, heighten my sense of awareness, and make me feel like I'm one with the earth. Try it. Of course, you don't have to walk on the beach. If you prefer, it can be the grass in your backyard or even the rocks and dirt at the local park.

      

17 Embrace Change

      As they say, there are two things that are certain in life: death and taxes. Well, I think one more thing should be added to the equation and that is change. It is not only everywhere, it is inevitable. There's not a thing we can do about it.

      For example, we are all growing older every day. Again, there's not a thing we can do about how many years we have on this earth. Yet, people spend billions of dollars on cosmetics and plastic surgery in a desperate attempt to turn back the clock. Ironically, the stress that this sometimes causes can actually have the opposite effect. So why waste your much-needed energy trying to resist change? Instead, embrace and accept it.

      

18 Know that Things Are Not Always What They Seem

      Things are not always what they seem. It sounds pretty logical and easy to accept, right? Well, no, not exactly. Realizing and accepting the fact that things aren't always how we perceive them is a very difficult milestone to pass. Let me give you an example.

      I was born with severe bilateral hearing loss. When my husband and I first moved into our current house, we were amazed at how wonderful our neighbors were. Everyone was very friendly and would frequently yell out greetings from their front lawns. The only problem was that I frequently had no idea they were speaking to me. I was perceived as snobbish because I seemed not to want to engage in conversation. But the truth was I was very anxious to get to know my new neighbors, I just couldn't always hear them.

      When I finally got around to telling my neighbors that I was hearing impaired, they all gave me this look like “Oh, so that's why you ignored me the other day.” The lesson here is to always give people second chances. If a friend was rude to you the other day, maybe it had nothing at all to do with you. Maybe she was going through some tough times. Ask for an explanation. Don't just assume things are one way or the other.

      

19 Have a PMA—Positive Mental Attitude

      As I was growing up, my big brother Michael would often tell me whenever I was down or upset about something, “Remember, Josie you have to have a PMA.” When I was a kid, I used to stare back at him like I thought he was crazy. Today as an adult, however, I realize how wise my brother's words were.

      The fact of the matter is we can't control everything that happens in this life; however, we can control how we respond to what happens. We can choose to focus on the positive.

      When we do so, we give our spirit a boost. And when our spirits are high, we are better able to deal with whatever adversities may come our way.

      Studies have shown that those who are positive tend to live longer and better lives. So, as my brother always used to say, remember to have a PMA.

      

20 Be Spontaneous; Have Fun

      As I write this, I am nine months shy of my forty-third birthday. The truth is, however, mentally I don't feel any different than I did when I was twenty-five. The difference is now I am a mother and have a lot more responsibility than I did in my younger days. I am definitely not as carefree as I once was. But there are times when I long for my carefree days. I just want to be a kid again.

      On those days, I may call a few of my friends and arrange a girls' night out or do something fun and spontaneous with my husband. Or maybe I'll call Lisa or Adriana, two of my oldest childhood friends, and talk about the old times. The years never truly pass between old friends; they only sweeten and become more memorable.