I've never been one to hold my feelings inside. After only three weeks of dating my husband, I blurted out, “John, I love you,” as tears streamed down my face. He looked at me overjoyed to hear those words yet disappointed that he wasn't the one to say them first. For months afterward, every time he told me that he loved me, I would reply, “Yes, but I said it first.” It would always make us laugh.
Like John, many people are afraid to say “I love you.” They are either afraid that it's either too soon to express this sentiment or perhaps that the other person will not say it back. Well, I can understand these fears, but I am going to argue that it is well worth the risk of getting hurt. However, I don't believe it is ever too soon to say “I love you.” If it were too soon, then you wouldn't be feeling these emotions in the first place. Let that special someone in your life know exactly how you feel. Pay close attention to your heart. Not only is it therapeutic, but it will also let you know exactly where you stand in the relationship.
As the old adage goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” I must say that I couldn't agree more. What good is telling someone that you care if you don't act like you do? It doesn't matter how long you've known someone, we all need reassurance from time to time. Reassurances can be as simple as sending a card or setting aside time to take your friend out to dinner.
One of my closest friends once blurted out, “You don't care.” Her words shocked me. After many years of friendship, I couldn't understand why and how she could possibly think that I didn't care about her. But then I realized that I had been so caught up in my work and spending time with my new friends in my hometown that I had neglected our friendship.
Did you know that smell is the most heightened of all our senses? Research has shown that what we smell has a tremendous impact on how we feel, both mentally and physically. Perhaps the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies reminds you of your childhood. Or maybe the smell of the brisk ocean breeze helps you to relax as you take a stroll on the beach.
The scents from essential oils are believed to help relieve many stress-related ailments as well as promote recovery of others including colds, insomnia, migraines, and muscle pains. For example, lavender oil is said to help you sleep while rosemary is noted to promote muscle relaxation. There are several varieties of scented candles and oils on the market. So have fun finding the scents that work best for you!
The act of meditation comes with many benefits including stress and anxiety reduction. Relaxing and quieting the mind can even reduce the risk of heart disease and other illnesses. There are various ways to meditate, but I'd like to share a simple one with only three steps.
1. Find a relaxed and peaceful location. While some prefer absolute silence, others prefer soft background music. Whatever works for you is fine.
2. Next find a comfortable position that you will be able to sit in for an extended period of time without tiring. This could be on the floor or on the sofa.
3. Now, once you're comfortable, close your eyes and focus on something. Perhaps, you might focus on a memory shared with a loved one. Or you can repeat a positive phrase over and over in your mind such as, “I am loved.” Relax and take a deep breath each time you say it. Release negative energy (fear, worry, anger, sadness) with each exhalation and take in positive energy (joy, happiness, contentment) with each inhalation.
Try not to get discouraged if you don't feel the benefits immediately. It may take some time and trial-and-error to find the meditation technique that's right for you.
Sometimes in life, you not only have to ask yourself some tough questions but you also have to answer them honestly. Questions like: What do I really want out of life? What bothers me the most? What do I wish I could change? Am I truly happy with my marriage/relationship? What do I need to make my life happier?
The key here is to be totally honest with yourself. Your answers will help you better understand who you truly are. Hence, you will be able to make better choices that create happiness and contentment for you.
We all know what our strengths and weaknesses are. But far too often, instead of drawing on our strengths, we tend to concentrate on the things we cannot do. I grew up with cerebral palsy. As a result of my disability, I have many weaknesses. As a little girl, it bothered me to no end that I could never go ice skating with my friends. I tried several times, but I just could not maintain my balance on skates.
Then one day I said to myself, “You may not be able to do a lot of things, but you can also do a lot more than some people.” After all, I had a disability. Yet I could walk and even run on my own. I could ride my bike. And I was a good writer. Through my writing and my imagination, in fact, I was able to do anything that I wanted to do. Whenever you find yourself confronting one of your weaknesses, look beyond it and find happiness in your strengths.
Think of the things you can do and not the things you can't do. Similarly, look at the things you have done in your life and not the things you have yet to do. Remember, your attitude is what makes all the difference.
I must admit that this concept has been extremely difficult for me. We all expect certain things from our family and friends. But what I've found over the years is the more I expect from others, the more I'm apt to be disappointed.
In 2000, when I was diagnosed with skin cancer, I felt like I had the weight of the Empire State Building on my shoulders. I was miserably depressed. When I got the news, I expected certain things from my friends. I wanted everyone to stop what they were doing and run over to lend me a shoulder to cry on.
Very few did what I expected. So I found myself mad and resentful of all my other friends. As time went on, however, I realized that just because my other friends did not respond the way I had expected them to didn't mean that they didn't care. Everyone has his own way of dealing with things.
I came to realize that it's not fair to expect my friends or family to drop everything they were doing and run to me. I learned not to expect too much. This way I can continue to appreciate them regardless of whatever happens in my life.
Sometimes you believe in everything and everybody except the person who is the most important: you!
No one will believe in you if you don't believe in you. It has to start with you. Get reacquainted with yourself. Know who you are and why you are that way. Tell yourself that you can accomplish anything. Reflect on how far you've come in life and think about where you want to go from here. Know what you want and make a feasible plan to make it happen.
If you believe in yourself, life becomes so much easier because you will fear less and achieve more. You will be more open to see and to take advantage of opportunities when they come up.