Today may or may not turn out to be challenging, but it certainly can be special. We resolve not to waste any emotional or physical energy on pettiness and trivialities. We will focus on the important things.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
How can I best live these new moments and hours?
January 21
“I am what I am.”
ANONYMOUS
Illness often brings with it changes in physical appearance, from temporary skin rashes and hair loss to permanent scarring. Some of the changes are symptoms of the disease; others, including excisions and amputations, are part of the treatment process.
Whether such changes are short-term or permanent, and whether they are relatively minor or profound, they often create a dilemma for us. We can withdraw from social activities because we self-consciously fear other people’s perceptions and judgments of us. Or, we can work to bolster our flagging self-image and go on living as normally as possible.
Make-up, wigs, jewelry, hats, and flattering clothing, for example, can go a long way toward improving the way we feel about ourselves. If regular exercise is possible, it also can have a dramatically positive impact on self-image.
But a change in attitude, more than anything, can free us from the pain of self-consciousness and lift us from the depths of despair. Our bodies may have changed—we may be scarred or even skeletal—but we are no less now than we ever were. Indeed, we are more, for each day we face our challenges and transcend them.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I may not look the same as before, but I am no less than before.
January 22
“Nothing is void of God; He Himself fills His work.”
SENECA
We sometimes refer to the grace of God (often in verbal shorthand: “There but for the grace …”) when we compare our circumstances with those of others who seem less fortunate. Yet we can tell very little about the reality of God’s grace in other people’s lives simply by looking at the most obvious aspects of their circumstances—that is, their “outsides.”
In truth, God’s grace is available to all of His beloved children, not just a “chosen few.” We are all equal in His sight; no one among us is more special or deserving than any other. For each and every one of us, God’s grace is limitless and ever-present, always available to bring healing power and renewing love.
We often say that God works in mysterious ways. What that means is that His grace can enter and shape our lives in ways that are beyond our comprehension. Isn’t it true that many occurrences, which are at first seemingly “bad,” often evolve into blessings?
By accepting the grace of God into our lives we can let go of uncertainty and fear. We can accept the good in all situations. We can allow ourselves to be guided toward successful solutions and inner prosperity.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I am beloved in His sight.
January 23
“‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying, ‘I will not forgive.’ Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.”
HENRY WARD BEECHER
It’s hard to disagree with the proposition that forgiveness is a powerful force for healing. Many of us know from experience that the act of forgiving can mend relationships, making it possible for love to flow again. Forgiveness can turn the tide of self-destructive negativity and set us free by dissolving toxic and tormenting resentments.
Before we became truly willing to be forgiving, and before we became fully capable of practicing forgiveness, we first had to uncover and discard some of the strange beliefs that were standing in our way. We had long felt, for example, that few acts are sweeter and more satisfying than revenge.
We also had to disavow the notion that proving someone else wrong elevates us in some way. We had to confront and repudiate the belief that some people deserve to be hurt, and that we have a right to manipulate someone with guilt just because he or she wronged us.
Each of these beliefs harmed no one more than ourselves. By accepting this reality and by giving forgiveness the priority it deserves in our lives, we are not only unburdening ourselves but are being healed as well.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Perhaps it’s time to search out the strange beliefs that are making it difficult for me to forgive myself and others.
January 24
“The mind grows sicker than the body in contemplation of its suffering.”
OVID
More than once in recent years I have strongly felt that my body was betraying me. The feeling was of course irrational, but at times I became angry at my surgically repaired heart, at my painfully inflamed joints, and, most frequently, at my immune system for turning against me instead of fighting for me. Needless to say, the longer I held on to the perception that my body was a traitor, the more alienated from myself I became.
When I finally shared these concerns with my close friends in a support group, I received not only empathy but also good advice. I learned that I was self-destructively focusing my anger at my body when I was really angry at the illnesses themselves. As long as my anger was misdirected that way, I couldn’t deal with my harmful emotions constructively. As the result of attending the support group, I am now able to clarify and subdue my feelings when such episodes occur.
I’ve come to an important understanding; that my mind and body are not separate warring entities but rather allies miraculously linked to create the unified whole that is me.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Anger at my physical self inhibits rather than enhances healing.
January 25
“It is best to do things systematically, since we are only human, and disorder is our worst enemy.”
HESIOD
Everything seems to happen at once when there is a medical crisis in the family. It matters little whether we are ill ourselves or we are caregivers—anarchy reigns. We are pulled in many different directions simultaneously, and we are challenged on many levels.
On the physical side there are appointments, treatments, and medications to attend to; there are countless things to do and places to go. We may face powerful new feelings such as despair or terror, as well as uncomfortable old feelings, including guilt and self-pity, which have resurfaced in entirely new ways. At the spiritual level, our faith may be challenged; we may feel let down by God, angry at God, victimized by God.
Clearly, all of this turmoil and pressure must be dealt with, and soon. But how? As simplistic as it may sound, the only way to make progress at each of these levels is to put first things first. Instead of diving in impulsively and trying to do everything