1. Adorable fact: This feature of the book was inspired by my mom. She was a huge help in the editing process. However, being a straight, cisgender lady she struggled a bit with the first read through. She thought a quick “LGBTQIA+-vocab-crash-course” at the beginning might make this book more ally-friendly, and less overwhelming for newbies. Thus, this cheat sheet was born!
2. Very, very brief. Please see each term’s full explanation found later in the book to get a more complete understanding of it.
3. See the cheat sheet to learn what LGBTQIA+ stands for!
4. See the cheat sheet for more on stigma!
5. (#InternalizedHomophobia, oops! See the cheat sheet and also here for more on internalization!)
6. Find more TSER here: http://www.transstudent.org
7. Find more Eli here: http://www.elierlick.com
8. Find more Gender Spectrum here: https://www.genderspectrum.org
9. Find for of the gender book here: http://www.thegenderbook.com
10. Find more Everyone Is Gay here: http://www.everyoneisgay.com
11. Find more Vesper here: http://www.queerascat.tumblr.com
12. See the cheat sheet for more on intersectionality!
13. Find more Camille here: http://gaywrites.org
14. Find more Emily here: http://emilord.com
15. Find more Riley here: https://www.youtube.com/c/RileyJayDennis
16. Find more Pidgeon here: http://www.pidgeonismy.name
17. Find more Micah here: http://neutrois.me
18. Find more August here: http://bit.ly/2cti1Dv
19. However, I had the final say on which concepts made it into the book and how they were explained. Understandably, not everyone who helped edit this book agreed on every matter, so if you find yourself taking issue with anything in the text, I am who should be held accountable before the other contributors.
20. All who have nifty blogs or vlogs that you can check out if you want to learn more about them and/or their identity!
21. See here and here for more on maverique and genderflux!
22. MacDoesIt made a wonderful video on this topic: http://bit.ly/2cb3FGl
23. Note: To be clear, fitting a stereotype is not inherently a bad thing. Take the person above for instance - they have a great smile and even better hair. I would be their friend in a heart beat! What becomes frustrating is when cliched depictions are the only portrayals of LGBTQIA+ people we see.
24. Let’s be real though — flannel is amazing.
25. See here for more on what it means to be “intersex.”
26. Vesper’s story here is a great example of this!
27. However, some people do still identify with these terms, and if they are comfortable doing so, that’s completely valid!
Part 1:
Spectrums
Before we delve deeply into the details of sexual, romantic, and gender identities, let’s cover my favorite topic of all, spectrums! One of the reasons I’m so fond of spectrums is because I believe, with fierce tenacity, that nothing in this world is black and white. Spectrums embrace gray spaces, ambiguity, and fluidity. Since these are all concepts which are integral to the human experience, I find spectrums particularly helpful in understanding and describing identity. I also chose to start the book with this section for a very particular reason; because as we learn about various identities, it’s important we recognize they are not “all or nothing” concepts. Many identities can exist in various degrees and come in a range of possibilities. Remembering this is incredibly crucial as we progress.
Essentially, spectrums are tools or concepts that help us understand identities in complex ways. Often times we see them as visual aids on which we can represent and plot different identities. There are many styles, the most predominant being the linear model. This type of spectrum has two endpoints and lots of space in between. One experience frequently portrayed on a linear spectrum is to what degree a person experiences sexual attraction. That might look something like this:28
Decoding this visual is fairly simple. Anyone on the far left experiences no sexual attraction (asexuality),29 and anyone on the far right experiences lots of sexual attraction (zedsexuality).30 These plotted identities could look like the following:
But what about people who don’t feel completely asexual or zedsexual? Well, that’s what all that space in the middle is for! Maybe a person feels they fall somewhere between asexual and the spectrum’s mid-point. That is often referred to as graysexuality,31 and one way that identity could look on a spectrum might be:
Perhaps a person finds themselves moving all over the spectrum depending on the day and circumstance. They might identify as aceflux,32 and one way that identity could be portrayed on a spectrum might be:
Or maybe a person regularly experiences sexual attraction, but not a very high amount of it. That might look like this:
Interpretations of identities and the ways different people depict them, can be highly diverse. In order to represent themselves the way they feel is best, people might draw their spectrums differently. Some people might sketch brackets, plot points, doodle arrows, shade sections, and do many other things to their spectrum. In the end, there are no rules, and how a person draws their spectrum and plots themselves on it is completely up to them. Only they know how to do it best.
To give you an example, consider the following graphics. If we asked five different people who each claimed one the aforementioned identities (asexual,