Why is this book important?
Representation of LGBTQIA+ people is grossly imbalanced. While the general public may have a basic understanding of the more common LGBTQIA+ identities like, gay and lesbian, ask a person on the street to explain something more nuanced like, maverique or genderflux21, and you will likely be met with a blank stare.
This lack of knowledge regarding sexual and gender diversity is also largely reflected in today’s media, which typically only showcases stereotyped, trite depictions of LGBTQIA+ people. Reducing us to these one-dimensional clichés is not only inaccurate, but also harmful. It perpetuates the ideas that:
People are no more than their sexuality (Example: “He’s gay, that’s all you need to really know.”)
Certain behaviors and aesthetics are to be expected from individuals based on their orientation. (Example: “Gay men are effeminate, lesbians are butch, and bi people are promiscuous. Duh.”)
Certain behaviors and aesthetics are to be expected from individuals based on their gender identity. (Example: “Trans women are feminine, trans men are masculine and gender neutral people are androgynous. Obviously.”)
As a result, LGBTQIA+ people who don’t fit these stereotypes may not feel valid in their identities. I’ve heard countless stories of youth remaining closeted and confused because they didn’t feel they “looked” or “sounded” enough like the “type” of person who was LGBTQIA+. They didn’t believe they were “allowed” to be gay22 and worried they’d face rejection from the LGBTQIA+ community. What’s more, when all we see are stereotyped depictions, allies or people less familiar with LGBTQIA+ communities are denied interesting and nuanced looks at their fellow humans. Then, they become more likely to perpetuate the same harmful stereotypes.
From personal experience, I can tell you it’s incredibly disheartening to go on a hunt for relatable, interesting LGBTQIA+ characters in TV or literature, only to find tropes such as:
“Gay best friends” constantly preoccupied with shopping23
Greasy, crude lesbians only seen in flannel24
Unfaithful bisexuals convinced that their desire to experiment is a college phase
Transgender youth isolated and rejected by their peers
Obnoxious drag performers who only exist for comic relief
Wounded queer heroes who bravely make it on their own after being disowned
The fact of the matter is, there are infinite ways a person can be LGBTQIA+. I eagerly await the day I’m surrounded by more realistic, complex, and empowering depictions of LGBTQIA+ people in mainstream media. Perhaps:
A gay scientist on the asexual spectrum
A Christian bisexual, deeply invested in his faith
A polyamorous, trans person elected as their high school’s prom king
A non-binary bodybuilder who loves drag and takes it very seriously
A fashion-knowledgeable lesbian helping their gender questioning friend explore gender nonconforming styles
A popular, mixed race, intersex25 blogger whose relationship with their father takes years of hard work and patience before any mutual love and respect is formed
Unfortunately, I fear there is a long road ahead before we see this kind of representation in mainstream media. Therefore, in an attempt to combat erasure and increase general LGBTQIA+ knowledge, this book hopes to offer visibility and a voice to identities that are usually lost and forgotten.
Who is this book for?
This book is for anyone interested in learning about sexual and gender diversity. That being said, as I write, I do have two target audiences in mind. The first is any LGBTQIA+ person who is “looking for their label.” Without adequate resources or education, it’s easy to be unaware of the copious identities that exist. It’s also entirely possible for a person’s identity to be too complex to fit any mainstream label. Not knowing how to put your identity into words can be isolating and frustrating. Used properly, language has the power to validate people’s identities and grant a sense of community.26
On top of those searching for a label, this book is also for allies and LGBTQIA+ people looking to pack in some extra identity know-how! Knowledge is a critical part of acceptance after all. Learning about new identities broadens our understanding of humanity, heightens our empathy, and allows us to see the world from different, valuable perspectives. Additionally, these words provide greater precision when describing attractions and identities, and there is never anything wrong with having an efficient, expansive vocabulary!
How to use this book:
While this book is chock-full of labels (that hope to validate people and help them find community) it’s important to note that this is meant to be a descriptive not prescriptive resource. It does not have an agenda to push labels on anyone, nor should you use it to label any individual without their consent. This book is not a weapon to police identities or place people in boxes, it’s simply a catalog of terminology for those interested in learning about a diverse array of identities.
What’s more, we should acknowledge that not everyone can agree exactly on what each identity is and how it’s defined (and that’s OK)! Almost every identity out there has more than one (or two, or three, or four, or twenty!) interpretations, and this book simply provides some of the most common perspectives on what each means.
Additionally, it’s worth noting that public opinion of many identity labels can change over time. For example, the word “transgender” didn’t come into our language until the 1960s. Before then, people often identified as “queens” or “transsexuals.” Now many consider those terms offensive to describe trans people.27 Our language and understanding of these concepts is constantly changing and that’s exciting! It means people are continuing to learn and analyze!
All this being said, if you do happen to find a word in this book you’re excited to claim, marvelous! If not, that is completely okay too. There are a variety of reasons why a person may or may not choose to label themselves. Some of these include:
They feel too fluid to commit to one label.
They don’t think any existing label completely captures their identity.
Their identity is still formulating and they don’t want to be rushed into a qualifier.
They wish to avoid the stigma and/or expectations tied to certain labels.
They don’t feel they owe society an explanation as to who they are. Their identity is personal information.
They find rejecting society’s propensity to classify and place everyone in boxes liberating.
And finally, they just don’t want to label themselves. It’s really as simple as that. They don’t want to, and they don’t have to. Boom.
A person’s decision to either use an identifier, or not, is completely personal, valid, and should be respected by others.
A disclaimer:
A final word of warning before we press forward: activism is tricky, and identities