Then I discovered the LGBTQIA+ world on the internet, and everything changed. It started with only a handful of “coming out” videos on YouTube. I didn’t have many LGBTQIA+ role models in my life at the time, so I let some of these online figures fill that void. It was an interesting experience. For the first time, I felt deeply connected to people because of their sexuality. I finally understood the benefits of belonging to the LGBTQIA+ community; it offered people who differed from the norm a sense of understanding and acceptance. This realization helped alleviate the nagging disconnect and subtle isolation I used to feel from the rest of world. I quickly became excited for a future of possibilities and belonging.
Aside from being refreshingly relatable, I also found these people to be impressively compassionate, caring, and supportive. They not only had a profound understanding of themselves, but also a beautiful, empathetic curiosity of others’ identities. It inspired me.
I wanted to enter into this loving, open-minded network of people, and so my interest in LGBTQIA+ topics quickly escalated. Soon I found myself devouring books, blogs, documentaries, podcasts, and anything queer I could get my hands on. Never before had I known that an ocean of free LGBTQIA+ education existed, and all I had to do to access it was type a few keywords into a search bar. This abundance of new knowledge transformed me. I was no longer the hesitant, insecure, label-shy Ashley I was before. I found myself empowered, confident, and excited to take ownership of any super gay terminology that applied to me!
Five years, two new cats, a future wife, and a drastic short haircut later, and I’m happy to tell you this is still the case today. To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever met a person more passionate about labels and the power of language than myself. In fact, if you asked me to describe my identity in the most precise sense, I would likely say something like, “I’m Ashley, a very fluid, queer person, comfortable using the words bi, pan, and multisexual interchangeably. I’d describe my romantic orientation as demi-homoflexible and my gender as questioning, but typically existing in the spaces between woman and agender. Words I’m currently experimenting with are non-binary, gender neutral, bigender, demigirl, genderfluid, genderqueer, and genderflux. Also, I prefer to engage in monogamous relationships.” Phew! Not sure what all those terms mean? Not to worry, you will soon!
In addition to my own brain and research, I am very lucky to have a team of knowledgeable experts behind me. They have fact-checked, edited, and overviewed all the information covered in this book. Some of these fabulous organizations include:
Trans Student Educational Resources, or TSER:6 TSER is a youth-led organization dedicated to transforming the educational environment for trans and gender nonconforming students through advocacy and empowerment. Our editor from TSER is Eli Erlick,7 a queer trans woman, activist, and director of the organization. Her work and writing focus on trans and queer organizations, youth, education, identities, media, and pathology.
Gender Spectrum:8 All children and teens are affected by narrow definitions of what is permissible and appropriate for their gender. Gender Spectrum works to increase understanding of topics related to youth and gender in an effort to create more inclusive spaces for all youth. Our editor from Gender Spectrum is Executive Director, Lisa Kenney.
The Gender Book:9 This book is a fantastic gender resource which has gone on to win recognition of an IPPY award, several grants, and was selected for the 2015 Rainbow list. Our editor from The Gender Book is Mel Reiff. Mel is an artist and illustrator who created a colorful, fully-illustrated gender 101 with their friends while living in Texas.
Everyone Is Gay:10 Everyone Is Gay works to improve the lives of LGBTQIA+ youth using a three-pronged approach: providing honest & often humorous advice on everything from coming out to relationships to identities; talking to students across the country in an effort to create caring, compassionate school environments; and working with the families of LGBTQIA+ people to help foster an ongoing dialogue and deeper understanding. Our editor from Everyone Is Gay is the CEO and Editor in Chief of the organization, Kristin Russo.
And of course, how could anyone ever hope to make a detailed guide of LGBTQIA+ identities without a few bloggers? Personally, I view blogging spaces as unmistakable voices of the community. They have become the birthplaces of hundreds of LGBTQIA+ identities, and they are communities that constantly work on questioning, tweaking, and perfecting language to keep terms inclusive and comfortable for everyone. For these reasons, I’ve invited a few of my favorite LGBTQIA+ web wizards to review this book’s contents. Let me introduce them:
Vesper from QueerAsCat:11 Vesper is a black, queer, non-binary, asexual vlogger and blogger also known as Queer As Cat on Tumblr and YouTube. Vesper strives to help raise awareness of the intersections of sexuality, gender and race and to increase visibility and representation for people like themselves who are in the crosshairs of such intersectionality.12
Camille Beredjick from GayWrites:13 Camille is a queer writer, blogger and vlogger known as GayWrites on Tumblr and YouTube. She’s passionate about all aspects of the LGBTQIA+ movement and especially focuses on bisexual communities, inclusive media and journalism, and LGBTQIA+ issues in politics. She lives in New York.
Emily Quinn from Intersexperiences:14 Emily is an artist and animator who used to work on Adventure Time before she came out as intersex on MTV. Now she works full time as an activist, raising awareness for intersex issues.
Riley J. Dennis:15 Riley is a content creator, public speaker, writer, and activist who runs a semi-educational YouTube channel that discusses intersectional feminism, queer issues, and a host of other topics. She is a non-binary, transfeminine lesbian who is also a huge nerd. She loves Harry Potter and Pokemon.
Pidgeon:16 Pidgeon is a mixed Latinx, queer, genderfluid intersex person, and activist, from Chicago. They are passionate about carving out a liberation space for intersex people, especially intersex people of color. You can find them on Everyday Feminism, and on their Twitter and Facebook pages.
Micah from Neutrois Nonsense:17 Micah is a writer, advocate, and educator on transgender identities. Micah’s site is a leading resource among the non-binary community. Micah presents humorously didactic workshops involving cookie metaphors, reluctantly talks to journalists, volunteers as a speaker at local schools, and is a closet idealist. Micah’s mission is to contribute positively to everyone’s experience with gender.
Beyond the efforts of its reputable editors, the book also includes personal stories from approximately 40 LGBTQIA+ people who so generously donated their time and efforts to support this project. Additionally, I’d like to thank the fantastically talented, trans artist, August Osterloh for crafting the book’s gorgeous illustrations.18
In the end, it’s important that you understand that this book is truly a massive LGBTQIA+ collaborative effort. All the information has been critically reviewed by the eyes of respected organizations, online communities of everyday LGBTQIA+ people, and myself. The editors include gay, bi, ace, aro, queer, trans, intersex, and non-binary people, as well as people of color, and the personal story contributors are even more diverse! The age range of collaborators is also fairly wide, spanning from mid-teens to mid-thirties. It’s my hope that the merging of these various individuals and perspectives will result in the creation of a well-rounded, ultra-detailed, LGBTQIA+ resource unlike any other out there.19
What is this book about?
Breaking down this book’s mission is simple: It aims to be a detailed guide of many LGBTQIA+ identities and terms with an emphasis on those that are mis- and underrepresented. This book recognizes that most identities and terms have a multitude of interpretations,