8 8. Be confident but humble. Confidence is beautiful and always helps in conquering the obstacles in life, but cockiness will get you in a place where no one wants to be. It’s okay to have confidence in your ability to do something, but always be humble enough to know that someone out there is always better. Be the best you can be and don’t worry about others. My dad used to tell me, “Nothing is more humbling than life itself.” It’s true, we are never promised our health, life, or current situation, so always be thankful. Staying humble is a way of being thankful for what you have accomplished in life. Continue to be confidently humble and the path to success will be yours, with some hard work along the way.
9 9. Decisiveness is a great trait to have as well. Take control of your life, body, and career! Think about it this way, it’s either one day or day one. We all have those “one day” moments, like one day I’m going to open that coffee shop, one day I’m going to wear this outfit, one day I’m going to start a fashion blog, or one day I’m going to love myself. Instead of saying one day, say day one. Today is day one of loving myself, day one of my coffee shop opening, day one of my fashion blog, and this is day one of me wearing this outfit! Day one means you have made a decision to go ahead and follow that passion and take control. Be decisive and own who you are.
10 10. Practice good grooming habits. Some men view grooming as being something feminine, and that’s not true at all. Grooming is life. Being well-groomed will help you feel more confident while also taking care of yourself. We only get one body so it’s important to cherish it and treat it well. Getting haircuts and shaving or trimming your beard can help you develop your facial presence. I’m known for having a clean-shaven head and an impeccable beard. I groom my beard thoroughly, I use beard shampoo, beard conditioner, beard balm, and a beard serum. Trimming, brushing, and combing also help maintain the shape I want. Don’t be afraid to invest in some quality products to up your grooming game; grooming is good, trust me.
11 11. Last but not least, have passion and ambition. As a gentleman in the modern world, you should always have the ambition to improve and the passion to balance it. A wise man once said, “If a man stands for nothing, then he will fall for anything.” Have ambition, stand for something, and have passion to back it up. It’s okay to believe that black lives matter and in equality for all and women’s rights. Be passionate and have ambition to change the world for our future generations – doing so doesn’t make you any less of a man. It makes you a gentleman. The kind of gentleman the world needs right now, more than ever!
Black, bald and beautiful as ever.
Manners, style and body confidence is the formula for the sauce. #BauceWithSauce
I put the win in wingtips, baby.
“If you can’t love yourself, then you can’t love nobody.”
– Grandma
My grandma once told me that if you can’t love yourself, then you can’t love anyone else. I didn’t understand this when I was younger, but now as an adult, I understand it with emphasis. You see, it’s hard for people to always see the negative in themselves while trying to see the positives in another person. Love is “uncondishy” –especially self-love. Your body is going to change, your opinion about certain topics will change, and most importantly the people around you will change. You are constantly evolving while becoming a better person and dealing with different circumstances in your life. So it only makes sense to love yourself through all these changes in your life. I would be lying to you if I said my body looks the same now as it did when I was in high school – shit, it doesn’t even look the same as last year. But that’s okay, I love my body and what it has done for me.
As a man, I have suffered from body image insecurities due to media perceptions and ideas of male beauty. Men are held to unrealistic body standards that can alter the way they feel about their bodies. Women go through it just as much, if not more, the only difference is that women have worked to have various body types shown in fashion ads and are able to be vocal about the media’s perception of beauty. One of the worst things someone can do is to silence and suppress someone’s feelings. The societal standard of masculinity has silenced men into not being vocal about their emotional issues, especially body image. So many men feel the need to look a certain way in order to be treated well by others. I can relate to the feeling of, “Well, if I had tight abs and a ripped chest, then people would like me more, and I would get more interest from people” – this mentality haunts many men! I have been on the journey to loving myself for quite some time now, and it’s not easy, but I can tell you this….if you haven’t found your worth, now is the time to do so!! You’re one of a kind, and here’s my guide to helping you love yourself.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past, that shit is real and can get the best of you. Surround yourself with positive people!! Surround yourself with people who have such positive vibes that it’s hard to not be happy when around them. Look for people who compliment you, give you great advice, always build you up, and love you “uncondishy”. Find your self-worth by knowing that no other person in the world is like you; you’re an original, made one-of-one, and can’t be replaced. That’s what makes you unique and special in this world. I for one can tell you about many times when I was feeling insecure and down on myself…but one in particular stands out.
My best friend Adam came into town (Columbia, SC) to visit me and my family. We had some time to catch up on each other’s lives and do some shopping. While we were in the mall browsing and reminiscing about fun times in college, we walked past Express. Adam loves Express and has the perfect build for their clothing, and although I didn’t have the same body type, I had owned some shirts from Express in the past and they had fit perfectly. I had my eye on this Nantucket red blazer…man, it was the most amazing thing I had seen in a while. They had one left, and it was a 44 regular (which was my size at the time), so I went to try it on – but that shit barely went past my elbows!
While I was clearly struggling in the attempt to get this thing over my shoulders and making all kinds of shoulder and arm movements, a sales lady came over and asked if I needed assistance. She attempted to help get the rest of the jacket over my shoulders, but it wasn’t going anywhere. She said, “Okay, your arms are just way TOO big. This isn’t going to work,” and she was right. Unfortunately it didn’t fit me, so I did what any other person would do and asked for a larger size. She then informed me that this was the largest size they carried. Clearly I had a puzzled look on my face, because she had just told me that I was basically “TOO big” to fit in that size, and was now telling me that they didn’t make a size 46 or 48. She wasn’t the most pleasant person either.
I asked her if she could look it up and see if they had a 46 or 48 in another store. She of course said “yes” with such an amazing smile and positive attitude (I’m being very sarcastic right now. She was horrible.) She lets me know that was indeed the largest size they carried in the jacket and suggested that I could possibly get one custom made to fit me. Adam was only able to witness a small part of these moments because he was browsing around looking for his own clothing. After he checked out, I told him what had happened, and he was pissed to say the least. He wanted to go back in