Today
Know that love wraps around you, sits beside you, and shines upon you and out from within you.
February 5
Grieving requires a great deal of patience. There is the necessary patience for coping with the process: the ups and downs, the range of feelings, the ebbing pain. There is the stretch of patience for others who do not understand your experience and perpetually say the wrong thing. And there is the patience required for enduring life while you're waiting to reunite with your loved one in eternity.
Today
Let yourself rest in the moment. Be patient. The next moment is already on its way.
February 6
Immediately after your loved one's death, and even up to a few months later, it's typical to get a lot of support and sympathy. Then people return to their lives, and you are left with your heartbreak. Make sure that you continue to find people who will support you as time goes on. Similarly, be the friend who checks in with other grievers six, twelve, and eighteen months later. It's vital to create your own web of support.
Today
Do you know a griever whom you can contact today?
February 7
Sometimes, it's easy to cast blame for your loved one's death. You might blame a perpetrator, a doctor, or a legal system. The impulse is strong to find someone to pay for this loss. However, vengeance will not bring back your beloved. And it might keep you stuck in a sort of bitterness. Many have experienced that even when justice is served, a hollowness settles into their hearts.
Today
Question your desire to blame others as a possible distraction from your own grief. Let yourself sit with the unvarnished reality of loss.
February 8
Grief is not the entire puzzle of your life. Yes, the feelings are huge and overwhelming on many days. However, grief is merely a piece in the puzzle of your life. You have love, a spacious soul, and many opportunities for growth. You are still here for a reason . . . you are lifting off every day into a life of which grief is a part (but not the whole).
Today
Know that the puzzle of your life has many important pieces.
February 9
Sometimes, you don't want to remember the irritating aspects of your loved one . . . the annoying traits, the arguments, the immaturities. Guess what? We're all human, and therefore subject to various flaws and imperfections. It's okay to remember what you don't miss as well as what you do. Embracing the foibles of your dear one is just as important as honoring their virtues. Everyone is a package deal.
Today
You have permission to remember all aspects of your dear one.
February 10
Grief is a teacher in your life. It's a teacher that you didn't ask for and don't particularly want. However, it is now a part of your life. Over time, your relationship with grief will change and evolve. Rather than seeing grief as the enemy, see it as an instructor. See what lessons it has for you about living, and honoring life. See what lessons it has for you about dying.
Today
Be curious and ask grief, What are you trying to teach me?
February 11
It's very natural to continue to feel as if you could just pick up the phone and call them . . . or drop by their house and talk to them. You may find yourself expecting to see them in their old chair or even sitting at the table. It takes a long time to register that their physical form is no longer here. And as you are reminded over and over again, it can feel like a fresh shock.
Today
Know that it's not easy to wrap your mind around the truth that their form is gone from this planet.
February 12
Acute grief can last from weeks to months to years. Eventually, it fades to subtle grief. Think of acute grief as a symphony, front stage and captivating. Subtle grief is more like a cocktail pianist playing background music. Grief changes, shifts, and plays a new tune, but it doesn't disappear completely.
Today
Welcome the music of grief in your life.
February 13
Valentine's Eve, holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries can be tough. Grief, of course, needs no special occasion, but the anticipation of a holiday is often especially poignant. Allow yourself to breathe through the feelings. You will get through this holiday, this one and future ones. It's another day to hold love and loss side by side.
Today
Watch, experience, and accept your grief as it unfolds.
February 14
Amidst your sorrow, remember that love is the greatest energy we know. It helps us expand, open, give, and bless. Look at how the love you have for your dear one can continue to express itself now—perhaps in new and surprising ways. Love keeps your dear one close. Love can help you reengage with life.
Today
Let your heart fill with love even in the midst of sorrow.
February 15
There is a time for every season . . . a time to mourn . . . a time to cry. Don't resist nature's call to retreat, to draw inward. It's important to let yourself feel your feelings and be in the grief. There will be a time for another season. Until then, follow nature's example.
Today
Remember that your feelings will cycle around, like the seasons.
February 16
The journey of grief is not a direct, linear route. You take a step forward, another back, and the path turns just when you least expect it. You thought you were going strong in one direction, and then you find that you must stop and rest. Be gentle with yourself. There is no goal or endpoint. Your journey may even take you down an unexpected path.
Today
Consider starting a grief journal. Let your feelings of each day make their mark on paper. Over time, you'll be amazed how love and grief companion together on this long and winding road.
February 17
They say that time heals all wounds, but that isn't completely true: It's how you spend that time that makes the difference. If you spend the time avoiding your grief, it only goes underground, where it makes you sick. If you spend the time getting increasingly bitter, time only makes you miserable. However, if you spend the time facing your grief, and even befriending it, if you spend your time embracing love and creating a new relationship with your dear one, then time will help you heal.
Today