MANGAIA ISLAND
Sugar in the evening…
All parents want a nice young man for their daughter. One who comes to the house, looks you in the eye, shakes hands politely, tells you where they’re going, brings her home on time.
Not…
High in the mountains near the border of Tibet, the Mosuo of China live in villages nestled along the spectacular sapphire mountain lake Lugu. The Mosuo lead peaceful lives, raising yaks and other farm animals, growing crops, and—despite the occasional home satellite dish—following tradition.
They call the late teen years the “honey time.” At sixteen, a girl gets complete freedom to “make friends” with boys; that is, invite a chosen boy to spend the night in her bedroom in a special Azhu house. A girl is free to “make friends” with as many boys as she likes, and she alone decides what boy she’ll befriend.
When the girl decides the romance is over, she simply shuts the door of her Azhu house to him.
There’s just one fixed rule: the boy must show unfailing respect for her mother. He does it by sneaking into the girl’s bedroom after dark, when Mom’s asleep, and slipping out again before dawn, so no one will see him.
A boy who dares to show up in daylight to meet a girl’s parents proves he’s a disrespectful scoundrel with no respect for propriety…and Mom will toss him out on his sorry ass.
MOSUO OF CHINA
WEIRD SEX LAWS
Think it’s odd that governments try to regulate something as ubiquitous, personal, and diverse as sex? Probably, but that’s never stopped them. Take the USA. It has more laws regulating sex than all of Europe. Some laws make sense, of course. They protect the innocent. Others are just… weird.
If necrophilia is your thing, head to one of the states where it’s legal: Louisiana, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, and Wisconsin.
But be careful about getting it on with the living. In Connecticut, one old law forbade any “private sexual behavior between consenting adults” – that apparently included married couples.
Not to be outdone, Virginia outlaws exposing your genitals where anyone else is present – that includes in your bedroom with your lover. They can also lock you up for having sex with another consenting adult – or masturbating in someone else’s presence. For those evil crimes, you can get twelve months in the hoosegow and a $2,500 fine.
Let’s not forget an old law in Washington State that forbids intercourse with a virgin. No one gets away with flouting this law, including newlyweds. The penalties include prison and a fine.
Clawson, Michigan made it illegal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. Now what will Clawson guys do on those long winter nights?
In the liberated state of Florida, it’s illegal for a man to kiss his wife’s breasts.
Colorado made it illegal to kiss a sleeping woman.
Florida staunchly protects its porcupines’ virtue. Any human caught having sexual relations with a porcupine will face the full fury of the law, not to mention some major private parts pain.
In Illinois, they prohibit you from nuzzling or kissing a reptile.
Last but certainly not least, in liberated Massachusetts, the town of Salem has taken a firm stand. They made it illegal for married couples to sleep nude together in a rented room.
Don’t yap about your yoni
On the isle of Yap, in Micronesia, surrounded by vast coral reefs and crystal-clear waters, people pursue age-old pastimes. Fishing, sailing, and weaving are still the center of daily life. Yap women preserve another tradition. They carefully guard the source of all their potency: their genitals. That way, they always have plenty of “power” to catch and hold any men they want.
No Yap woman would ever let any other female—young or old—get a peek at the source of her competitive edge, her yoni. They think Western women who go to female doctors are nuts. After all, a female doc is just as dangerous as any other woman. Who knows what the sneaky doc would snatch under cover of the exam room?
YAP ISLAND
Real dirty dancing…
Love to dance but got no partner? Come join the Wayuu! They are a happy lot. And for good reason. They wander freely through the jungles, deserts, and beautiful Caribbean coasts of northwest Venezuela and northern Colombia. They can hook up anytime with ghosts of loved ones who inhabit the Guajira Peninsula. Better yet, they can hook up with potential mates at the fertility dance, Chichimaya.
As soon as they hit their teens, Wayuu girls are hidden away for months, especially from teenage boys. After they are “mature,” they can join a Chichimaya dancing bash. Boys dance wildly in circles, waving their hats and teasing the girls to chase them. When a girl spots a guy she thinks is hot, she dances after him. If she can trip him and he goes down, he has a hope of marrying her, knowing they’ll have sizzling hot sex for the rest of their days.
If he does fall for her and she accepts him, he’ll pay her family with a fine dowry of goats. Later, if his wife takes a lover, her family has to return the goats. If hubby plays around: more goats to the in-laws.
WAYUU OF VENEZUELA AND COLOMBIA
Keep those wholesome family traditions
On the long, lovely beaches of the Trobriand Islands, with its azure waters and coconut palms, life is peaceful and simple. Men fish and grow yams. Women garden and weave skirts. Teenage boys learn ancestral dance and live in a bachelor pad. Teenage girls have sex with any bachelors they choose—variety is the spice of life! Doting parents give their daughters thoughtful advice, such as which boys look like good lovers.
There are rules of propriety, of course. Screwing a guy is fine, but don’t you dare engage in a premarital meal. Want to be the village bad girl? Have dinner with a guy before you’re married.
Big losers in the Trobriand Islands are the birth control merchants. Trobrianders know that sex doesn’t make babies. The proof? They have lots of the former, but few of the latter. Forget the silly notion that intercourse makes women pregnant. It’s obvious that the ancestors’ spirits (called baloma) make women pregnant. Trobrianders acknowledge, though, that intercourse might make her more susceptible to the baloma.
All these affairs are not just fun and games. They give couples a chance to test their sexual (and other) compatibility. Young women check out the guys’ potential as husbands…and they diligently conduct as much research as possible.
Trobriand Islands, Papua New Guinea
Terms of Endearment
Tired of trite nicknames for your lover, like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” or “Sugar”? Rev up your romance with these awesome international terms of endearment.
Petit chou (French) – Little cabbage. When your French lover calls you a head of cabbage, he’s being romantic, not pushing for an early