In a majority of states, related family members are given preference in the care of a child removed from the home. Relatives who are asked by agencies to care for related children, often with little notice, may not have to undergo all the licensing requirements of foster parents but they will generally have to undergo a criminal background check. Kinship caregivers filing for adoption are given priority in many jurisdictions. Kinship care and adoption policies vary from state to state, so it is important to understand what rights you have as a kinship caregiver in your state.
Over the past decade, researchers and practitioners have discovered a number of benefits of kinship foster care and adoption. In the care of relatives, children may be able to maintain stronger connections with their parents, community and culture. They also are more likely to be placed in the care of relatives with their siblings or in family situations where they have more contact with siblings.4
PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS WHO ARE SERVING IN THE MILITARY
Active members of the armed services, based in the United States or abroad, are eligible to adopt from the US foster care system and internationally. They may also adopt an infant through the US system of private adoptions. It is important that active service members learn about special benefits and services they are eligible for when they adopt and about some of the barriers they may face during the process. Generally, military families follow the same process of adopting a child from the US foster care system as other families, including an agency orientation, pre-adoptive training, paperwork, background check, home study and working with the agency to be matched with a child.
Military families interested in adopting an infant should find a private agency to work with. Likewise, military families interested in intercountry adoption should find a Hague-accredited agency to work with either in the United States or in the country where they are based. Several agencies specialize in working with service members based abroad who are interested in adopting domestically or internationally.
According to AdoptUSKids, active service members must follow the laws of adoption of the state where they are currently based. Military families move often, which can complicate the process. Two laws regulating interstate adoptions will be important to military adoptive families: the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) and the Interstate Compact on Adoption and Medical Assistance (ICAMA). Both laws were enacted to facilitate the placement of foster and adoptive children across state lines and ensure that families receive vital services. It is important that older children legally free for adoption have as many opportunities as possible to be placed with adoptive families, even if the family lives in another state. Although interstate adoptions are common, families do report delays and challenges when they seek to adopt a child living in a different jurisdiction. The best approach for military and other families to take when adopting from another state is to ask their agency of choice a lot of questions and also do as much research as possible about adoption laws in the state where their prospective adoptive child currently resides.
As active service members, military families are eligible for the Department of Defense adoption reimbursement program, which covers $2,000 in eligible adoption expenses per adoptee in one calendar year.5 Members of the armed forces are also eligible for up to twenty-one days of leave upon the adoption of a child. In addition to Medicaid if they qualify, pre-adoptive and adoptive children of active and retired service members are eligible for TRICARE benefits, the healthcare program of active and retired service members.6 Military family service centers should be able to provide members of the military with additional information about benefits they can expect to receive when they adopt a child. Service members should complete as much research as possible on their own as well and find an attorney skilled in military family adoption.
PROSPECTIVE GAY AND LESBIAN ADOPTIVE PARENTS
Sometimes a waiting child does have preferences in terms of an adoptive parent’s characteristics; this is often true when it comes to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) foster children. According to the Human Rights Campaign, LGBT youth are disproportionately represented in the foster care system.7 Sadly, many of these LGBT children and teens in the foster system are rejected or even abused and neglected because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The discrimination or rejection that each may have experienced in their adopted or fostered lives can create a strong bond of understanding between gay or lesbian adoptive parent and LGBT child or teen.
Because there is such a need for accepting parents of LGBT foster youth and because of the large number of waiting children in general, lesbian and gay prospective adoptive parents of older children and teens are critically needed. Gay and lesbian parents bring different perspectives and experiences to parenting. Because of discrimination they themselves may have suffered in their lifetimes, lesbian or gay parents can be particularly empathetic to the pain of children who have been removed from their biological families through no fault of their own. Lesbian or gay parents may know more than some about feeling isolated or marginalized—feelings that so many older children and teens in foster care unfortunately experience. When lesbian or gay people or couples parent an adoptive child, that child may experience a sense of love and acceptance he or she never knew before. Gays and lesbians may confront barriers to adopting an older child internationally. The United States and other Hague-accredited nations allow gays and lesbians to adopt, but several nations have laws prohibiting adoption of children by gay or lesbian individuals or couples. According to Beth Brindo, LISW, “There was a time when many agencies held a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ attitude toward adoptions by gays and lesbians. Today, reputable agencies are not willing to turn a blind eye to falsification of sexual preference. In fact, the applications required by some countries actually ask prospective parents if they are gay or lesbian.”
Thus, older child adoption through an American public or private agency may be a lesbian or gay prospective parent’s best option. Still, prospective lesbian or gay parents may need help navigating older child adoption due to their sexual orientation and marriage status. More agencies are developing specific resources and supports for lesbian or gay applicants. It is highly recommended that prospective lesbian or gay adoptive parents research which public and private agencies are open to working with gay and lesbian applicants and choose an agency with which they feel comfortable. Find out which agencies are accredited through The Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org). Lesbian or gay singles and couples considering adoption should also join adoptive parent discussion forums and local in-person support groups geared toward the lesbian and gay parenting community to get inside information and advice from those who have already gone through the process.
An increasing number of public and private agencies are becoming sensitized to lesbian and gay prospective parents’ needs and many are even actively recruiting lesbian or gay foster or adoptive parents. The following statistics and information about the adoption of older children by gays and lesbians have been reported:
• Gays and lesbians are more likely to adopt children of a different race or culture, or special needs children, as compared to heterosexual adoptive parents. Fifty percent of adoptions by gay and lesbian parents are through the public child welfare system.8
• According to Gary J. Gates et al for The Williams Institute, same-sex couples raising adopted children are usually older, more educated and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents.9
• Legal victories allowing gays and lesbians to marry and changing social attitudes have contributed to the increase in adoptions by gay and lesbian couples since 2000.10 According to the 2010 census, same-sex couples are raising over 22,000 unrelated adopted children.11 Most recent estimates hold that gays and lesbians are raising approximately 4 percent of all adopted children.12
It is important that