She left the room but stood in the hall listening. I could see her face, distorted by the pebbled glass window in the door.
‘Sorry about Mum,’ I whispered.
‘It’s completely understandable. She’s upset. It’s no small matter, losing your husband.’
‘Dad isn’t lost.’
He bent down toward me. I caught the glint of a gold chain between two buttons of his shirt.
‘You don’t think so?’
I stared at the tabletop. ‘No.’
‘Well,’ Johan continued. ‘Tell me. How old are you?’
‘Nine.’
He nodded as if I’d said something very important.
‘Shouldn’t you be at school?’
‘Dad teaches me everything.’
‘Everything?’
‘Yes, we’ve got schoolbooks for arithmetic, English, geography, all sorts. A couple of hours a day. They send me tests every three months. Do you want to see them?’ I was giving him my very best attempt at town talk.
‘In a little while, perhaps. First we need to talk about what happened the day before yesterday. Do you remember what time it was?’
I was a bit shaken to find that we were talking about Dad again. ‘It was almost evening, I think.’
‘And you were there when he drowned.’
‘You’re not allowed to say that,’ I hissed.
‘So what did happen?’
‘He was swimming underwater for a while. All of a sudden.’
‘For a while? And then he came back up again?’
I shrugged my shoulders.
‘Did he come up again?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Try to remember as clearly as you can. Did your father shout anything?’
‘I was playing football.’
‘With him?’
‘On my own.’
‘Where exactly?’
‘There.’ I pointed in the direction of the rocks and the beach.
‘And then?’
‘Nothing.’
‘So after you played football you did nothing?’
I shook my head.
‘And where was your father at this point?’
‘Over by the towels.’
‘And then he went for a swim?’
I wanted to say something, but other words kept getting in the way.
‘Was anyone else there?’
‘Just us.’
‘Your neighbour?’
‘No.’
He clicked his pen but he still hadn’t written anything down. I needed to look at something solid and hold onto it with my eyes. The table. A wall. A block of concrete would be best. ‘He was a white shape underwater.’
Johan nodded.
‘After a while I couldn’t see him anymore.’
‘And then he was gone?’
Mum swung the door open.
‘Mrs Hammermann, would you please stay in the hall just a moment longer?’
‘You know all you need to know.’
‘Madam, please!’
‘You’ve already heard all this from me, haven’t you?’
They glared at each other.
‘Fair enough,’ he sighed. ‘Let’s leave it at that for now.’
He clicked his pen and scribbled the word Drowning inside a big box on the form. One word in an expanse of white. ‘Your son has been a big help.’ He handed Mum his pen. ‘Could you sign here, please?’
She left a jagged scribble on the line he’d been pointing at. I noticed he’d spelled my name wrong: Michael.
‘Are there any other family members?’
‘Why?’
‘Parents still alive? Brothers or sisters?’
‘Only my mother, I think. We’re not on speaking terms.’
Johan nodded.
‘Circumstances,’ said Mum. ‘It’s personal.’
‘Yes, naturally.’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘A formality. Only asking because we might be able to help track people down, inform them.’
‘The only person you need to track down is my husband.’
‘If you need any help at all, please contact us.’ He shook Mum’s hand and then mine. ‘All the very best. I, or one of my colleagues, will be in touch if there are any developments.’ He put on his cap and left the house without a backward glance. On the quay he said something to one of the other policemen, who was trying to clean the portholes with a dirty rag. Johan stepped over the rail, went into the cabin, and emerged with a new set of papers in his hand. He strode up to Karl’s house, knocked on the door, and took a step back.
After waiting a while, he knocked again. The curtains stayed closed. He hunched his shoulders and walked off under the overhanging branches in the front garden. When he reappeared round the other side of the house, he knocked on the door again. Karl didn’t open. Johan leaned against the wall with his papers and wrote something on them, then folded them in half and slid them under the door. On his way past Karl’s cutter he gave the bow a couple of thumps.
The boy from the police boat had trouble undoing the knots cos I’d done such a good job of fastening them. I hoped Johan would notice and take me with him from now on to tie their ropes.
They sailed slowly out of the bay. I ran upstairs so I could follow them for a while through my binoculars. The sky was as grey as the sea. A container ship crawled across the horizon.
9
Within the hour, Karl was standing in our kitchen. He’d come in without knocking. ‘Look what I found.’ He held up a plastic bag and let it fall. It thudded onto the table with a sound like overripe fruit. ‘Go on, take a look inside.’
Dark-red liquid pooled along the seams. An image of a shrunken dad flashed into my mind. I bit my tongue so hard I felt dizzy and light-headed. Mum looked away from the bag. Her pale feet stroked the tiled floor.
It was all taking too long for Karl’s liking. He thrust his hands into the rustling plastic bag and pulled out a grey, headless fish. ‘For you,’ he said proudly, only looking at Mum. ‘Look.’ He showed off the cod from all sides. ‘Fattest of the lot.’ He grinned and tried to catch her eye. ‘Still swimming a few hours ago.’
‘Thanks,’ I said.
‘I’ve already gutted and scaled it for you.’ Karl let the fish slide back into the bag. ‘Boys in blue have anything to report? I noticed you had a visitor.’
‘He talked to Mum and then to me.’
‘Ah.’
‘No news,’ said Mum.
‘One of ’em came knocking