Conversations with the Psychologist. Veronica Semenova. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Veronica Semenova
Издательство: Издательские решения
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isbn: 9785005113412
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for self-development.

      But in order for the vacation and your planned travel to really become a holiday, try not to forget about certain rules.

      • Before you leave, try to finish all the important (and not very important) things at work and at home. Most of all, we get tired of unfinished business. If it is not possible to complete all pending tasks, then try at least to leave that unfinished business at home and not carry “worrying” about it with you on your trip. This could cloud the joy of your vacation days.

      • Do not make too many plans for your vacation. Let your vacation life be a bit spontaneous. Do what you want, and if something was planned but you do not want to do it, ask yourself: “Do I really need to do this?”

      • Try to rid yourself of hustle, at least during your vacation. We are always in a rush – we try to do several things at the same time, and feel guilty if we don’t. But, after all, vacation is for rest, not for continuing an endless race.

      • Go to bed and get up when you want. Forget about the alarm clock. And eat meals only when you’re hungry, not because it’s time and you have nothing better to do.

      • Try not to overload yourself with excursions and sightseeing-they require a lot of energy and may tire you more than a full day of work.

      • The most important approach is to learn to enjoy ordinary things – the sun, the nature around you, the company of your loved ones, your health. Don’t focus on everyday troubles. The ability to enjoy life helps you live your life with joy all year round, not just during vacation.

      Also, do not allow any familiar “role” dictate how you should behave. We take on social roles in life that support our self-esteem, allowing us to look good in our own eyes. For example: someone you know may like to travel and travels a lot, but after each trip, he does not talk about wonderful things and places he has seen, but only about how much hassle and troubles he encountered.

      His baggage was lost, the plane was delayed, the hotel service was bad, the weather wasn’t good, he was cheated at a restaurant, and so on. Most likely, this person is using such descriptions of his travel to criticize these experience and thus feel better. And the social role this person bears doesn’t allow him to enjoy the trip, but rather leads him to travel in order to have a reason to complain and receive sympathy from those who hear these stories. After all, in any such story, there are two themes: “how much I suffered” and “what a hero I am.”

      Optimists and pessimists look at the same world, but see it very differently. Anyone who travels with a positive outlook will find something interesting and exciting even in the poorest of environments. A more optimistic person will most likely have a more enjoyable and successful trip than a pessimist. In this sense, “lucky” and “unlucky” travelers are in an equal position-everyone just finds their own role.

      The key to emotional wellbeing in life and on a short journey equally depends on being able to accept yourself as you are, defining any experience or new meeting as being positive, valuable, and welcome.

      The Greek poet Constantinos Cavafy wrote, in his poem “Ithaca” (on Odysseus’ travels as depicted in Homer’s ancient Greek epic poem “Iliad and Odyssey’): “As you set out for Ithaka, pray your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery… But don’t hurry the journey at all. Better if it lasts for years, so you’re old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way, not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.”

      It is all about the journey, and our life is a journey itself that is more important than reaching the final destination. And thanks to this view of life in general and every journey in particular, one can work out a positive outlook for travel.

      No matter where you go (whether to a five-star hotel; on a hike with a tent; or a hitchhiking tour of Europe), what’s important is the experiences and knowledge you will bring back from those journeys.

      Travel is not a way to escape from yourself and your problems. As the old saying tells us, “No matter where you go, you will always take yourself with you.” Our life is a physical reflection of our thinking. Therefore, by improving our inner world and filling ourselves with a positive outlook and interest in our own life and the lives of others, we begin to see and understand more, and our life becomes more rich and happy.

      Safe travels and good rest!

      Fears and Phobias

      Question: “Recently, I began to realize that my life is governed by fears. I have a lot of them… I’m afraid to ride the elevator; I’m afraid to be alone; I’m afraid that I will become ill and no one will be around; I’m afraid of losing consciousness while driving a car; I’m afraid of flying on planes; afraid of viruses, and so on. Tell me, please, how to get rid of these fears. How can I convince myself that I am stronger than my fears?”

      We all experience fears in our lives. Fears can be different, but they all have a common base.

      Fear is the internal state of a person, caused by imagined or real threats. Psychology considers fear to be an emotional process of a negative nature.

      Fear refers to a basic emotion. In other words, it is an innate function. Its physiological component, mimicked manifestations, and specific subjective experiences are genetically conditioned.

      It is fear that prompts a person to avoid danger, adjust his behavior in a certain way, and perform various actions that, in his opinion, are capable of protecting him. Thus, fear is a function of self-defense, which is genetically involved in the evolutionary process of the survival of the fittest and most intelligent individuals.

      Fearless ancient man had no chance to survive if he did not hide or did not protect himself from predators and bad weather.

      Each person has his own fears, from the banal fear of insects or mice to the fear of poverty and death. There are even phobias-persistent, irrational fears. In short, there are as many different fears as there are people. But some fears are common in many people.

      Here are some of them.

      Verminophobia is the fear of various microorganisms and bacteria. People with such a fear constantly wash their hands, clean their homes, and are afraid of touching “dirty” things and becoming infected by them. People with verminophobia are almost always intellectuals. For example, they may be inventors, accountants, or lawyers. Fear of bacteria can develop into an obsessive-compulsive disorder and can seriously complicate one’s life.

      Fear of public communications, speaking in public, or social phobia is known to almost all people, since from time to time each of us is afraid to demonstrate emotions or feelings in public. Often, this fear becomes obtrusive and grows into a phobia.

      When aggravated, a fear of public speaking can be supplemented by the fear of open spaces. People who suffer from such fear very often have the ability to be great speakers, but they are lacking self-confidence and do not trust their intuition and any facts confirming that they can cope with their anxiety.

      Fear of old age is almost never found among young people, but occurs in men over 50 and women over 40. Women are afraid of losing their beauty and, as a consequence, the life they are used to, while men are afraid that they will not be able to realize their ambitions and/or produce offspring.

      Fear of death. You might think that the fear of death would be the most common, but this is not entirely true because many are afraid to admit that they have this fear. Fear of death is associated with many other fears and, in reality, is hidden behind each of them.

      The fear of flying on