Barstool Theology. Trevor Gundlach

and also help us discover the areas in which we need to improve. Such a friend, according to Aristotle, is “another self” that helps us uncover our true self, flaws included.²⁰ Whereas friends of usefulness or enjoyment support our selfish search for success or pleasure, friends of virtue help prune our faults while watering the roots of virtue.

      Friends of virtue willingly come face to face with the areas where each of them excels and where each needs to grow. This reality check does not arise out of the selfish desires of either party. It is not a projection or a “reflection-of-me.” Rather, our friend holds us to the same level of virtue as she would expect to be held in return. Friends of virtue take seriously the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” They share the same set of criteria: “How can we help each other embody the virtuous life that leads to fulfillment?”

      As we have all experienced, the process of selfrealization — coming face to face with the areas in our lives that need improvement — tends to be a painful process. Many people avoid self-realization because of this very fact. We prefer comfort over discomfort. We prefer pride to humility. Pride is the comfortable coat that protects us from showing our true skin, and we apply a thick layer each time we project a desire onto another person or onto our very self. Hiding from this deep self is an unfortunate yet familiar tendency.

      Humility is the virtue that counteracts the vice of pride. It is the spiritual act of stripping ourselves bare before the reality of each situation. The Latin root of the word humility, humus, means “earth.” The humble friend is down-to-earth, undergoing a constant barrage of reality-checks. They are always conscious of the way things truly are. This means accepting that you are right when you are right and wrong when you are wrong. Humility means accepting reality, no matter the situation.

      In sum, we can say that the friend of virtue earns the label “risk-taker” because of her humility. She risks being shown that she is wrong when she looks into the mirror of her friend. But she knows, deep down, that the risk of being wrong is outweighed by the reward of a virtuous friendship. The growing pains of friendship are nothing compared to the joys of fulfillment.

      * * *

      Many people think that friends of virtue simply restrict one another from drinking to excess. This is not always the case. It is more common for friends of virtue to encourage one another in fulfilling ways.

      Here are a few examples of how friends of virtue can help improve the drinking experiences of one another. We can encourage the consumption of artistic craft beer over domestic beer (Chapter 2). We can allow the conversations to oscillate naturally between surface-level topics and deep discussion. Finally, we can remind one another about the reason why we are celebrating (Chapter 4). The phrase “Whoa, slow down” is replaced with “This craft beer is incredible; try this!” or “I am so glad that we can celebrate your new job!” Friends of virtue hold each other to a higher standard of fulfillment, and their gatherings reflect it. Friends of virtue hold each other to a higher standard of fulfillment, and their gatherings reflect it.

       How #2: Go on a “Friend-Date” with a “Friend-Crush.”

      Turn to page 150.

      Before moving on, it is important to ask the question, “Who teaches us how to drink?” In the next section we will explore the role that mentors play in the lives of students.

       The Tipsy Leading the Tipsy

      Many professors reminisce about the days when they would meet students at the local bar to continue the conversations that began in class. Office hours overlapped with happy hour, and students grew in their ability to dialogue about difficult topics in a casual setting.²¹ But the sheer act of drinking with an adult taught students more than any of the words that were spoken. They were given the opportunity to observe a master-apprentice relationship.

      The system of master-apprentice was the common structure of education in Greco-Roman antiquity. People learned a trade by following in the footsteps of a master. A vast number of trades functioned in this manner, including sculpture, rhetoric, architecture, acting, and philosophy, to name a few. Students followed a particular teacher and aided him in research or writing. During this process, the masters could talk only so much about a topic before the apprentice had to try his own hand at the art. Apprentices learned by acting rather than mere discussion.