Understanding begins with the self: Are we able to comprehend our own motivations and desires, and can we recognize and revise negative internal dialogue? But such self-knowledge has broader implications for the ways in which we relate to others. Indeed, if we are really listening to ourselves, then we should be able to listen with equal concentration, respect, and interest to our colleagues. Heresy though it might be to do so, we might alter the prayer of Saint Francis: Lord, grant that I may truly understand myself, and therefore learn to understand others.
A posture of seeking to understand ourselves and our place in the world is the stance of the invitational leader. The stakes of such understanding are high. We turn again to Greenleaf: “I submit, with respect to purpose, that no person is to be trusted with any aim unless he or she has some contact, however tenuous, with ultimate purpose.” The invitational leader has contact with his or her ultimate purpose of being a beneficial presence. This requires the soul-searching necessary to lead others toward greatness. More importantly, this leader will seek to inspire the same kind of search for meaning in his or her colleagues and, by setting a positive example through words and actions, will have a very real possibility of succeeding. At the highest level, then, the stakes of Invitational Leadership are nothing less than what Walt Whitman calls the “progress of souls.”
The Invitational Guidance System
“ You can learn to lead, but don’t confuse leadership with position and place. Don’t confuse leadership with skills and systems or with tools and techniques. They are not what earn you the respect and commitment of your constituents. What earns you their respect in the end is whether you are you. And whether what you are embodies what they want to become. So just who are you, anyway?”
—James M. Kouzes, “Finding your Leadership Voice,” Leader to Leader
Invitational leaders summon others to higher levels of functioning and present them with the opportunity to participate in the construction of something of mutual benefit. This “something” ultimately reveals itself in the noble effort to create a better world and to eliminate gross inequalities. This in turn will help to hold society together and sustain human decency. Invitational Leadership presents a fresh paradigm that sees leadership as a force for positive social change. It acknowledges our integrity, our potential, our interdependence, and our responsibility to do good.
In his book, The Leadership Engine, Noel Tichy sets forward practices successful leaders perform to communicate their values. These include clear and specific values consistently articulated and reflected upon, the embodiment of these values in the leader’s own actions, and the continuous encouragement of associates to apply these values to their behavior. Further support for the importance of values is provided by Louise Stoll and Dean Fink, who, in their study of leadership in education, reported that successful leaders function on a clear set of values which guide the decisions they make.
There are four, fundamental values that give invitational leaders direction and purpose. Together, these four values form a basic set of guiding beliefs that are echoed throughout this book. They are respect, trust, optimism, and intentionality.
Respect is measured by how we treat ourselves and others.
Trust encourages collaborative risk-taking and creative problem solving.
Optimism is evidenced by positive and realistic expectations.
Intentionality gives direction and purpose to our decisions and makes action possible.
Respect
Nothing is more important in Invitational Leadership than respect for others — the belief that we and our associates are able, valuable, and responsible, and should be treated accordingly. Central to respect is an appreciation for the unique complexity of each person — their strengths, experiences and opinions, and cultural perspectives. Invitational leaders view diversity as a benefit to the entire group.
As a lesson in the value and richness of diversity, one of the authors had the opportunity to observe a close-order marching drill presented by soldiers of the 82nd Airborne of the United States Army. During the demonstration it was possible to spot the influence of many cultures, including Native American, British, Asian, African, and even that of New Zealand. This is one reason why the American Army, reflecting rich diversity, is considered among the best in the world. Moreover, the amazing diversity of American citizens has been a major factor in the vitality, creativity, and world leadership of our dynamic country.
Respect is manifested in such behaviors as civility, politeness, and common courtesy. Waterman and Peters, in their book In Search of Excellence, reported that a special characteristic of highly successful companies is the courteous and respectful behavior of their employees. They are good listeners, pay attention to their customers, and treat people as adults. Respect is one of eight major characteristics that distinguish excellent companies.
In Executive Selection: Strategies for Success, Sessa and Taylor found that relationship skills are closely connected with leadership ability. This is also documented by Fink. Successful leaders take a strong, personal interest in their associates and get results through respectful relationships. Respect is manifested in the leader’s promptness in giving credit and expressing appreciation for the caring and appropriate actions of others. It is also manifested in a willingness to make immediate and sincere apologies for inappropriate behavior.
Respect and Contrition
It seems necessary to point out here that expressing regret and saying you’re sorry is often insufficient. The old saw that if Smith owes Brown $20.00 and does not pay it back, God may forgive but that does not get Brown’s money back. In a book that one of the authors (Dr. Purkey) co-authored with John Schmidt and John Novak, Combat to Conciliation: How to Defuse Difficult Situations, we point out that expressing genuine contrition is more than what we often see in today’s media. Any apology is stripped of its healing power when it is insincere, stiff, or based primarily on self-interest. Moreover, coerced apologies are meaningless.
There is further advantage for expressing sincere regret. In a Time Magazine essay, best-selling author and political commentator Nancy Gibbs reported that most people file lawsuits out of anger, not greed. Medical personnel who express sincere sorrow when something goes awry are less likely to be sued. Following sincere apologies, the number of medical malpractice suits is significantly reduced.
Once a wholehearted apology has been offered, you now have the responsibility to make amends for your misdeeds in whatever way possible. For example, if you falsely accuse a colleague of something you might seek to make amends by contacting everyone involved and writing a personal and public apology for your error. Apologizing to someone in private for hurtful things said in public is unlikely to make full amends. To illustrate, a disturbing event took place while the President of the Unites states was presenting to a joint session of Congress. During the speech, a congressman shouted, “You lie!” Later the congressman apologized to the President in private, but refused to apologize in public. This is insufficient. When you insult someone publicly you need to apologize publicly. Public apology and efforts at restitution will contribute to the healing process.
Offering apologies and making restitution are especially important in Invitational Leadership because they are the qualities that enable invitational leaders to be a beneficial presence in the lives of human beings. In his book, Leadership is an Art, businessman and writer Max DePree points out that leadership is more