A different form of a greeting is used depending on situation.
The following case is kept in the depths of my memory in bright colors since my serene childhood, for a few decades already. Then, I was seriously confused and embarrassed by my own lack of knowledge of the elementary politeness. On the other hand, what else would be expected from a town lad, who has encountered such a form of a greeting for the first time in his life?
In addition, one should know that this greeting could vary according to a real situation.
My father was born in a tiny village Sandy-Kachi of the Mary Velayat, Turkmenistan. He has left the place to study in an agricultural college and did not come back, moving from one job place to another wherever a veterinarian should be sent by the state administration. My uncle, his older and the only brother, continued to live there for a long time, till end of 90s. For me, a teenager, spending vacations there it was like a journey to a wonderland – the Murgab River, surrounding hills, sheep grazing, and the formerly famous fruit gardens.
It was so interesting and romantic to go somewhere very early in the morning far toward the apricot gardens on a squeaking cart drawn by a slim-legged, tireless donkey. We worked for a full day there, busy with chores – every gardener knows how much should be done in time to maintain his fruit trees and to get a good harvest. Besides, it was not less enjoyable to come back when getting dark, stretched on a load of a grass for the cattle kept near my cousins’ home. Usually my cousins had to feed the animals before starting our own dinner.
By the way: again, that is a wisdom coming from the old times – an older person teaches a younger one to take care of their domestic animals prior to taking care of himself. It iso easy to understand this practice – if you eat yourself first, you might forget that your cattle is hungry; or if you would relax it will be more difficult to return to physical work soon afterwards..
This habit also works in other cases. For instance, while I was leading a group as an instructor for outdoor tourism I could not sit down myself to relax until every member of the team would find his proper place for camping, wood fires were arranged, and water for the tea was boiled.
Returning to our narrative: but what was it that confused me?
Well, there were many people worked diligently in those gardens, not only us. And all those, without an exception, with whom we interacted during long summer day, would always say a word incomprehensible for me: “Arma!”. And only after that they would add “Salam aleykum”, and continue the conversation if and when they could have a few free minutes for a short rest. At first, I nodded silently while busying myself with what chores I had, and did not pay attention to a small pause – as if the person who spoke to my cousins would expect something from me, too. It appeared that I had to respond by some word or a whole phrase. After several awkward pauses I decided to be smart and to return “Arma” to the next visitor by saying the same word. A confusion again!
My older cousin, exchanging condescending smiles (“What might you expect from city boy!”), undertook the initiative himself and answered “Barma”(!?).
Over three decades of time went over those gardens since, and most of the orchards were cut down due to an old age of the fruit trees. However, now I never forget to greet one with an “Arma!” if I pass a person is doing a difficult physical job. It does not matter if is he an acquaintance or a stranger.
This form of a greeting is used as an encouragement for intellectual work, as well, like wishing a success in one’s contemplations, or as a form of a friendly egging-on.
In the present days, “Arma” or “Armaveree” obtained a meaning “Don’t be tired!” or “Be tireless!” (in old times it was meant as “Help you God!”). And the exclamation “Barma”, or “Barbol” in return will mean “The same to you”. After that, you may add “Thank you for wishing!”. And only then a smooth passage will be accomplished to the generally accepted greeting “Salam valeykim” and the answer “Valeykim salam”.
Meanwhile, the case described above became for me the first intermediate, even if an important one, milestone in the process of discovering and investigating more closely different interpersonal relationships, behavioral reactions and interactions between my own people, – the process which still continues.
At an age well over thirty years, I noticed one aspect, which slipped away of my attention until that moment:
The greeting “Arma” is used frequently in the situations when a person is busy with his regular routine chores. It appeared that in a case when somebody would engage in a job that required sound physical effort during a long time, another form of distinctive greeting would be used. For instance, if a foundation is being built for a new house, or an irrigational ditch is being dug, or a bridge repair is been started, a competent person will always wish: “Ishler illeri”. However, I am not able to clarify the exact meaning of this saying, since I did not dig up the roots of its origin. If I understand it right, a sense of it is “Let your labor be finished soon.”
Now, prior to mention another important wish (and a kind of a greeting in a specific case) of Turkmen, let me to make two small digressions.
I have to introduce two residents of our town, linked with each other by family (I emphasize – family!) bonds, Mered and Kurban by names, both over fifty years old..
Also I would remind the reader about a classical saying, which became a cliché: “a man in his life ought to fulfill three tasks: to build a home, to have a son, and to plant a tree”.
So, after some quite difficult years, Mered has finally finished building and remodeling a house in the Poltavka village near own town. Besides, he implemented some designer ideas which were not common at the provincial areas. I am a brother and a cousin to them both Mered and Kurban, and that is why at the time I often visited Mered to have a tea with him. At my next visit, the host started, with some surprise and sadness, to tell me about Kurban’s first visit to his new home.
Already at his second sentence I started to smile and then even began to laugh because I guessed at once what I would hear next. I know Kurban’s personality so well that I can predict what and in which situation he could say.
I will continue my story reciting, nearly word-by-word, my dialogue with Mered that took place in his study, featuring a TV set half wall-wide:
“You know, I showed him the entire new home, opening doors into every room. You did not yet see those rooms, you just came and sat down here without further moving.”
Just then I could not suppress smiling and then burst out laughing immediately upon hearing a continuation and seeing that expression of Mered’s face which would be impossible to describe in words – a mixture of a bewilderment, light injury and, at the same time, some bitter humor.
“And then he [Kurban] said suddenly: ‘Two men at Poltavka, they just finished building their houses, and then hung themselves’” (!?).
Here Mered glanced at me and asked: “What’s so funny?”
“Hey, I know in advance what he could say. Kurban just is not able to be glad for the of success of another person.”
So what was the trick?
It is appropriate among the Turkmen to wish “nesip etsin” “(“let it bring goodness for you”) in such cases as a building of a house, a car purchase, or another significant acquisition.
Formally, Kurban was right; indeed at the Poltavka village two men committed suicides after moving to newly built houses. Whether he had to mention them to Mered at the latter’s new house, let it be solely up to Kurban’s conscience.
Then, I would not hide that at the moment I felt myself some awkwardness: “Didn’t I myself forget to make an appropriate wish? It is quite possible, with my absent-mindlessness”
Possibly, I did say something otherwise Mered would not fail to sting, would he? At once I recalled that just while entering his yard through the gate of a yard, a hearty “Berekella!” (“good of you” or