THE WORKAHOLIC’S GOOD POINTS
Workaholics are very conscientious people with a lot of drive who are highly motivated and have a great sense of responsibility and commitment.
THE WORKAHOLIC’S PROBLEM POINTS
Workaholics are not necessarily very efficient and they certainly do not control their work: their work controls them. (It is this point that gets Workaholics to co-operate with me when they come for stress management. As I know that they will not be impressed by the prediction that they might drop dead within the next half year if they carry on like that, I tell them that they will achieve a lot more if only they changed their ways, and they are wonderfully receptive to this idea and ready to get going!)
Relationships do not stand a chance in the life of Workaholics because they cannot bring themselves to allocate any of their waking time to non-work issues. Workaholics’ health is bound to suffer considerably because they run down their bodies consistently without giving them a chance to recover.
THE WORKAHOLIC’S INNER STATE
Incessant working can be a sign of latent depression. Being perpetually busy prevents you from sitting down and allowing critical thoughts about yourself to come up. Other reasons for compulsive working can be a feeling of being inferior to colleagues, of being in a job that is two sizes too big for you, or it can be an escape route out of an unbearable situation at home.
8 How to Use This Part of The Book
In this part of the book, you will find discussions on a few specific problems that participants of my courses or clients that come to see me individually mention again and again as being particularly aggravating.
At the beginning of each chapter, you will find a list of Statements that characterise that particular problem. Take the time to read through each point and decide whether it applies to you. There is no need to count how many Statements in the ‘Loneliness’ section are true for you. You are not more lonely if you ‘score’ ten points than if you score only one. The Statements are simply there to heighten your awareness of what reasons people think lie behind their feelings of loneliness.
The section following this list looks at each of the Statements in turn, examining what attitudes lie behind them and how you can learn to approach a problem from a different angle and think in a more positive way about it.
Following that, you will find Scripts that will help you establish the new constructive thought pattern in your subconscious mind. There is always a Script at the very end, but in some sub-sections there are additional Scripts to help you deal with that particular point.
It is essential that you read your Script several times a day. Copy it on to a piece of paper and carry it around with you. Learn it by heart and say it over and over again to yourself, plant it firmly into your subconscious mind by constant repetition.
As the Scripts contain only positive thoughts, you will also feel a beneficial physical effect. As you think pleasant, constructive thoughts, your body relaxes. If you doubt this, just try to do the opposite. Recall a past experience where you got very angry. Bring it back into your mind for a moment. You will notice how your body reacts to these negative thoughts: your jaw muscles tighten up, you tense up around the stomach area, your blood-pressure goes up, which produces a feeling of pressure in your head, and you are generally feeling very uncomfortable.
Luckily, the system works just as well the other way round. When you fill your mind with positive memories or thoughts, your body releases tension, your muscles and organs relax and work together in harmony, and a sense of well-being pervades your body. To enhance the effect of the Scripts, spend some time in the evening relaxing and visualising the positive solution to your particular problem.
Don’t waste any more time thinking about the problem, spend time thinking about the successful outcome. For every hold-up you encounter on your way, for every obstacle that bars your way to success, you will find two new possible ways of dealing with it. If one door closes, another two doors open. Don’t spend time looking at the wall, look for the doors in the wall. Be constructive in the way you are dealing with problems. It happens very often that people cannot imagine how their particular problem could possibly be solved and you despair, get frantic or lose all hope and get very depressed.
Think back. This is not the first time you have had a problem. What happened last time? Suddenly, out of the blue, a solution appeared, and I bet you anything that it was a solution you had never dreamed of. It makes a lot more sense to calm down, relax and believe that a solution will present itself at the right moment in time than to make yourself unhappy worrying about the problem.
Although we solve problems day in and day out we still lack the belief that the next problem is going to be solved. Our rational mind is far too restricted to anticipate the solution that we end up with. Let’s stop over-estimating our brains, they are not as wonderfully competent as our IQ makes us believe. A person who boasts about their high IQ is like a prisoner who boasts about his big cell.
Intuition, which originates in the subconscious mind, is far more efficient at solving our problems. Pay attention to your dreams and intuitive thoughts, and you will often find that they show you the way to the solution of a problem. Solving problems has nothing to do with hard work, it is child’s play, born out of a relaxed attitude. The greatest ideas, the most ingenious inventions were made by ‘accident’ while the person was not even thinking about the problem. Albert Einstein said that when he was trying to solve a mathematical problem he formulated the problem precisely in his mind and then stopped thinking about it. The answer would invariably come up after a while, spontaneously. The subconscious mind works for us all the time, even while we are asleep, and produces the answers and solutions we need.
Finally, you will find a Short Form, a type of mini-Script, that should be used during the night. If something bothers you during the day, you can wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about it. At night, problems tend to become blown out of all proportion, monopolising your head, spiralling round and round endlessly, so that you find it impossible to go back to sleep.
The Short Form can be easily remembered and should be repeated in a mechanical way in your mind as you are lying in bed. Again, the positive content of the Short Form helps to relax your body, which is what you need to be able to go back to sleep. As there is nothing you can do in the middle of the night to solve your problem you might as well postpone thinking about it until the next day.
• I hate arguments.
• I find it difficult to tell others what I want.
• When I feel hurt, I sulk.
Communication occurs on many levels and in various forms. It surrounds us everywhere, in letters, advertisements, films, on the radio. Messages are sent to us perpetually, and we respond to them. Communication enables us to stay in touch with the world around us and to send out and receive messages from other