Fact is, I don’t much care to remember. ’Deed, suh, you’d be astonished jus’ how good I can be at dis-rememberin’, specially when some ’quisitive stranger comes pokin’ his nose in my private affairs, wants to set it all down – for what? So you can lay an info’mation ’gainst me? Pouf! Not these days, mister, not in this town. La Senora Rossignol is re-spectable an’ respected, as my good friend the Alcalde can tell you. An’ I doubt he’d take kin’ly to any Paul Pry seekin’ scandal … to squeeze money out o’ prom’nent gennlemen, maybe? That ain’t your game? Well, then, I reckon you mus’ be one o’ those de-generates that get all tickled up havin’ a lady tell ’em the intimate de-tails of her past, from her own ruby lips. Brother, have I seen my fill o’ that sort! What some men’ll pay good dollars for … praise be. Not so, you say? Oh, my apologies. So, mister, jus’ what do you want?
Tom Molineaux? Me’ciful heavens! An’ what in cree-ation is he to you, may I ask? A subject of his-toric interest? My, my! Tom got called plenty in his time, but that’s a noo one. An’ why might you s’pose I know anythin’ of his-toric interest ’bout him, or would tell you if I did? Ah-h … you been talkin’ to Lucie de la Goddam Guise! Well, I trust you scrubbed real well with carbolic aft’wards. Pouf ! An’ you want my side o’ the story? Tom’s story, you mean? Well, perhaps I don’t choose to tell. Why should I?
Your pardon? You are prepared to make me a gen’rous onner … say it again, if you please … Honorarium? Suh, if that is some noo kind of European perversion, I’d be ’bliged if you’d tell me what it means, in simple American … Payment? For tellin’ you ’bout Tom Molineaux? Now, that I cannot believe! See here, my friend, if you have been overhearin’ loose talk an’ have called ’pon me for some pu’pose you are too bashful to confide straight out … well, I ’ppreciate the flatterin’ attention, but madam is not inclined these days, an’ if I was, believe me, you couldn’t afford it.
No, suh. I am not in need of capital, as you can see. Yonder coffee service is English sterlin’ silver, my gown is pure China silk, f’m Paris, France – well, I thank you for the charmin’ compliment – these fine furnishin’s an’ pictures an’ all is bought an’ paid for, as is the house; my maid, cook, an’ footman ain’t owed one red cent in wages, an’ there is a drivin’ carriage, with canopy, an’ two horses in my stable, which you are kin’ly welcome to view – on your way out. Unless you choose to state your real business. Jus’ so we und’stand one another.
My stars! You were not bammin’ jus’ now? You truly want to know ’bout that Tom? Well, that does beat all! Whatever for? I’d not ha’ thought he was o’ that much account. No one ever cared for him, hardly …’cept me, an’ I knew no better. He made a name in England? Now, you do s’prise me. Oh, prize-fightin’ … uh-huh, I guess he was good at that, if little besides. Well, it makes no neverminds what he did in England. He surely did hurt enough in America, him an’ that … No, I b’lieve I do not care to remember.
My recollections are of the first impo’tance to you? Well, now, I can’t think why they should be … oh, fo’give me if I smile, only I wonder do you know ’zackly what you are askin’? My recollections? La-la! My good suh, they are not what you are ’ccustomed to read in the ladies’ journals. You ’ppreciate that, you say? Well, I ’ppreciate your candour, I mus’ say! No, do not apologise. Like I said, we und’stand each other.
Well, now … I may not care to remember – but I do. ’Tis not the kind of thing a woman forgets, try how she may. Still, ’twill do no harm to tell now, I guess. I got over that mis’ry a long time ago, even if it did break my heart in pieces at the time … I had a heart in those days. So long ago … at Amplefo’th … when I was young in the sunshine … Oh, damn him! An’ damn that worm de la Guise! You wouldn’t b’lieve I could still feel the pain! Well, I don’t –’til some ’quisitive body plagues me to think on it!
I beg your pardon, suh. I fo’get myself. Quite in’scusable, what must you think? You have called ’pon me to make an inquiry, in genteel style, an’ my outbu’st was most unbecomin’. Would you have the kindness to pour me a glass of sherry f’m the cellarette yonder – an’ kindly help yourself to refreshment. There is French brandy, an’ aquavit’, an’ such. Jus’ the smallest trifle … I thank you. Now, let me collect my thoughts.
H’m, my recollections. Well, you shall have ’em plain, an’ if they offend your delicate feelin’s … why, you shouldn’t ha’ come.
First thing, Tom Molineaux was a born fool. Strong in the arm, weak in the head, denser’n Mississippi mud. Even when I was little, I could see he had no mo’ sense’n an ox. He was willin’ an’ kin’ly enough, an’ I guess I took to him ’cos he took to me. Used to follow me ’round like a great hound puppy, f’m as early as I can remember. He was older’n me, but we used to play together, an’ I had to show him how, at our games an’ ev’ythin’. The older slave-childer used to make game of him, ’til he got bigger – an’ then the boys took no more liberties with him, you bet, for he was prodigious strong an’ could whip ’em three, four at a time. Yes, suh, he was one big likely nigger buck, an’ ripe as a stud bull! Oh, my, I trust you will pardon the ’spression. Recollectin’, I fall back into the common way o’ speech. But that is what he was.
’Twas natural the gals all set their caps at him, an’ he was fool enough to pay ’em heed, an’ had his way with all o’ them, but it was me he cared for always. “You my own true love, li’l Mollybird,” he used to say. “True love!”, I declare! Where he learned such words, I cannot ’magine. But he meant it, so far’s he had sense to mean anythin’, an’ I b’lieved him.
One reason why he admired me to worship was I looked so different from the other wenches. They were common nigras, but I was what they called high yaller – yellow, you know, on ’ccount o’ my white blood, an’ fine-boned an’ dainty. Ah, I was the sweetest, neatest little gold fairy you ever did see – well, I am not ’zackly plain in my prime, would you say, so you can imagine. The master’s daddy, old Molineaux, used to call me Princess, never Mollybird, which is a real low plantation-wench name, if you like. Not my style at all, which is why I am Marguerite Rossignol, in case you wonderin’. Molly Nightingale, in French – Molly Bird.
So the older an’ prettier I grew, the more Tom mooned after me, an’ I dare say I used him somethin’ shameful, as gals will. He was so in awe of me, an’ the white people made me such a pet, he never dreamed to treat me like the nigra wenches. Once, when I’s ’bout twelve, an’ he was maybe sixteen, I teased him on to kiss me, an’ like the born fool he was, he bragged ’bout it, and when old Molineaux heard, he was in such a takin’ he had Tom triced up an’ lashed ’til he couldn’t walk. They told me I was never to even talk to him after, an’ kept me in the big house in a chamber of my own, with a bed an’ coverlet. Oh, I thought ’twas heaven! That was how precious I was.
Can you ’magine, it devoted Tom to me more than ever? An’ I cannot think why, now, but I do believe it was bein’ kept away f’m him that caused me to fall in love with him. I would see him starin’ at my window nights, an’ lookin’ so melancholy, an’ ev’yone knew he hadn’t made so much as a whimper when they whipped him. I yearned for him then, as only a young girl can, ugly as sin tho’ he was. Well, the other bucks were no better, or near so strong an’ fine-bodied as Tom, an’ what other men had I seen? It seems foolish now, but for three years I was in love with Tom Molineaux.
You think that hard to b’lieve? You see me here, the elegant lady of colour in her stylish salon, with her Paris gown an’ fine complexion an’ delicate airs, an’ conversin’ in that husky way the gennlemen so adore, ole-plantation-an’-la-m’dear – you s’pose I was this smart an’ wo’ldly when I was fifteen? Pouf! I had no mo’ sense’n a chicken. I was a simple little wench, an’ Tom Molineaux was big an’ strong an’ kin’ly and gentle to me as if I was a ewe lamb. An’ I loved him, strange an’ all as it seems now. I have had