“They’ll ha’ putten Thias Bede i’ the ground afore ye get to the churchyard,” he said, as his son came up. “It ’ud ha’ been better luck if they’d ha’ buried him i’ the forenoon when the rain was fallin’; there’s no likelihoods of a drop now; an’ the moon lies like a boat there, dost see? That’s a sure sign o’ fair weather—there’s a many as is false but that’s sure.”
“Aye, aye,” said the son, “I’m in hopes it’ll hold up now.”
“Mind what the parson says, mind what the parson says, my lads,” said Grandfather to the black-eyed youngsters in knee-breeches, conscious of a marble or two in their pockets which they looked forward to handling, a little, secretly, during the sermon.
“Dood-bye, Dandad,” said Totty. “Me doin’ to church. Me dot my neklace on. Dive me a peppermint.”
Grandad, shaking with laughter at this “deep little wench,” slowly transferred his stick to his left hand, which held the gate open, and slowly thrust his finger into the waistcoat pocket on which Totty had fixed her eyes with a confident look of expectation.
And when they were all gone, the old man leaned on the gate again, watching them across the lane along the Home Close, and through the far gate, till they disappeared behind a bend in the hedge. For the hedgerows in those days shut out one’s view, even on the better-managed farms; and this afternoon, the dog-roses were tossing out their pink wreaths, the nightshade was in its yellow and purple glory, the pale honeysuckle grew out of reach, peeping high up out of a holly bush, and over all an ash or a sycamore every now and then threw its shadow across the path.
There were acquaintances at other gates who had to move aside and let them pass: at the gate of the Home Close there was half the dairy of cows standing one behind the other, extremely slow to understand that their large bodies might be in the way; at the far gate there was the mare holding her head over the bars, and beside her the liver-coloured foal with its head towards its mother’s flank, apparently still much embarrassed by its own straddling existence. The way lay entirely through Mr. Poyser’s own fields till they reached the main road leading to the village, and he turned a keen eye on the stock and the crops as they went along, while Mrs. Poyser was ready to supply a running commentary on them all. The woman who manages a dairy has a large share in making the rent, so she may well be allowed to have her opinion on stock and their “keep”—an exercise which strengthens her understanding so much that she finds herself able to give her husband advice on most other subjects.
“There’s that shorthorned Sally,” she said, as they entered the Home Close, and she caught sight of the meek beast that lay chewing the cud and looking at her with a sleepy eye. “I begin to hate the sight o’ the cow; and I say now what I said three weeks ago, the sooner we get rid of her the better, for there’s that little yallow cow as doesn’t give half the milk, and yet I’ve twice as much butter from her.”
“Why, thee’t not like the women in general,” said Mr. Poyser; “they like the shorthorns, as give such a lot o’ milk. There’s Chowne’s wife wants him to buy no other sort.”
“What’s it sinnify what Chowne’s wife likes? A poor soft thing, wi’ no more head-piece nor a sparrow. She’d take a big cullender to strain her lard wi’, and then wonder as the scratchin’s run through. I’ve seen enough of her to know as I’ll niver take a servant from her house again—all hugger-mugger—and you’d niver know, when you went in, whether it was Monday or Friday, the wash draggin’ on to th’ end o’ the week; and as for her cheese, I know well enough it rose like a loaf in a tin last year. And then she talks o’ the weather bein’ i’ fault, as there’s folks ’ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i’ their boots.”
“Well, Chowne’s been wanting to buy Sally, so we can get rid of her if thee lik’st,” said Mr. Poyser, secretly proud of his wife’s superior power of putting two and two together; indeed, on recent market-days he had more than once boasted of her discernment in this very matter of shorthorns. “Aye, them as choose a soft for a wife may’s well buy up the shorthorns, for if you get your head stuck in a bog, your legs may’s well go after it. Eh! Talk o’ legs, there’s legs for you,” Mrs. Poyser continued, as Totty, who had been set down now the road was dry, toddled on in front of her father and mother. “There’s shapes! An’ she’s got such a long foot, she’ll be her father’s own child.”
“Aye, she’ll be welly such a one as Hetty i’ ten years’ time, on’y she’s got thy coloured eyes. I niver remember a blue eye i’ my family; my mother had eyes as black as sloes, just like Hetty’s.”
“The child ’ull be none the worse for having summat as isn’t like Hetty. An’ I’m none for having her so overpretty. Though for the matter o’ that, there’s people wi’ light hair an’ blue eyes as pretty as them wi’ black. If Dinah had got a bit o’ colour in her cheeks, an’ didn’t stick that Methodist cap on her head, enough to frighten the cows, folks ’ud think her as pretty as Hetty.”
“Nay, nay,” said Mr. Poyser, with rather a contemptuous emphasis, “thee dostna know the pints of a woman. The men ’ud niver run after Dinah as they would after Hetty.”
“What care I what the men ’ud run after? It’s well seen what choice the most of ’em know how to make, by the poor draggle-tails o’ wives you see, like bits o’ gauze ribbin, good for nothing when the colour’s gone.”
“Well, well, thee canstna say but what I knowed how to make a choice when I married thee,” said Mr. Poyser, who usually settled little conjugal disputes by a compliment of this sort; “and thee wast twice as buxom as Dinah ten year ago.”
“I niver said as a woman had need to be ugly to make a good missis of a house. There’s Chowne’s wife ugly enough to turn the milk an’ save the rennet, but she’ll niver save nothing any other way. But as for Dinah, poor child, she’s niver likely to be buxom as long as she’ll make her dinner o’ cake and water, for the sake o’ giving to them as want. She provoked me past bearing sometimes; and, as I told her, she went clean again’ the Scriptur’, for that says, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’; ‘but,’ I said, ‘if you loved your neighbour no better nor you do yourself, Dinah, it’s little enough you’d do for him. You’d be thinking he might do well enough on a half-empty stomach.’ Eh, I wonder where she is this blessed Sunday! Sitting by that sick woman, I daresay, as she’d set her heart on going to all of a sudden.”
“Ah, it was a pity she should take such megrims into her head, when she might ha’ stayed wi’ us all summer, and eaten twice as much as she wanted, and it ’ud niver ha’ been missed. She made no odds in th’ house at all, for she sat as still at her sewing as a bird on the nest, and was uncommon nimble at running to fetch anything. If Hetty gets married, theed’st like to ha’ Dinah wi’ thee constant.”
“It’s no use thinking o’ that,” said Mrs. Poyser. “You might as well beckon to the flying swallow as ask Dinah to come an’ live here comfortable, like other folks. If anything could turn her, I should ha’ turned her, for I’ve talked to her for a hour on end, and scolded her too; for she’s my own sister’s child, and it behoves me to do what I can for her. But eh, poor thing, as soon as she’d said us ‘good-bye’ an’ got into the cart, an’ looked back at me with her pale face, as is welly like her Aunt Judith come back from heaven, I begun to be frightened to think o’ the set-downs I’d given her; for it comes over you sometimes as if she’d a way o’ knowing the rights o’ things more nor other folks have. But I’ll niver give in as that’s ’cause she’s a Methodist, no more nor a white calf’s white ’cause it eats out o’ the same bucket wi’ a black un.”
“Nay,” said Mr. Poyser, with as near an approach to a snarl as his good-nature would allow; “I’m no opinion o’ the Methodists. It’s on’y tradesfolks as turn Methodists; you nuver knew a farmer bitten wi’ them maggots. There’s maybe a workman now an’ then, as isn’t overclever at’s work, takes to preachin’ an’ that, like Seth