2 You don't need others' approval. You need their criticism. When you constantly seek validation, you are putting praise ahead of learning. Too many people's careers are ruined by praise instead of propelled by criticism. The only path to success is constant learning and improvement. As an adult, when I was taking painting lessons from a world‐famous artist, I didn't want him to tell me how good my watercolor pictures were. I didn't want him to hang it on his refrigerator like a first grader's mother would do. I wanted to know what could be improved. What wasn't working, and why? You should look at every day at work, every interaction with others, as a chance to learn. Your bosses and clients got to where they are by learning things from experiences you may not have had yet. Think of your job, even if it is a job you hate, as you getting paid to learn. You are getting a degree in business without any student debt.
3 Track your progress with a journal. Keeping a daily journal is crucial to changing your mindset. It focuses you to take a moment every evening to analyze what worked and didn't work each day. What goal did you set for that day or week? Did you achieve it? If not, what steps could you take to get closer to your goal? People who write down their goals do significantly better in life. According to Mark Murphy, bestselling author of Hundred Percenters, “Vividly describing your goals in written form is strongly associated with goal success, and people who very vividly describe or picture their goals are anywhere from 1.2 to 1.4 times more likely to successfully accomplish their goals.”16Pay careful attention to the language you use to describe your goals and your actions. If you are reflecting on the day in dark or negative ways, so shall your actions follow. By focusing on what you learned from disappointing experiences, you are less likely to repeat the same mistakes. The added benefit of carefully choosing the words in your journal entries is that growth mindset censorship will impact how you speak and communicate with others at work and in your social life. Remember, you don't fail, you learn. Replace judging yourself harshly every time you make a mistake or fall short of your goals with self‐acceptance.On those days that really go wrong, we all have a tendency to dwell on our mistakes or misfortunes. Here is a clever trick to free your mind and move forward. Take a blank page in your journal and write down all your negative thoughts about the bad experience. Get it out of your mind and onto the paper. Next, rip out that journal page and throw it away! You are done with those thoughts and are ready to move forward.Lastly, keeping a journal will give you a sense of purpose. You are on a mission. You are not competing with others as if life is some kind of race. (After all, we all end up buried at the same finish line.) Measure personal growth over speed. That way, any time you are down or hit a roadblock, you can always look through your old journals and congratulate yourself on how far you've come – regardless of how long it took to get there.
4 Focus inwardly and not on your image. You don't need others' validation to achieve your goals. Be who you want to be and don't worry about what others think. Take solace in the fact that people who want to bring you down are already below you. The more you build a growth mindset and focus on your internal voice telling you what is possible, the more you will come to realize that haters are speaking their truth, not yours. When anyone tells you no, they are not saying you can't do it, they are just informing you that you won't be doing it with them. A growth mindset will have you thinking, “their loss.”Part of growth and acceptance is redefining genius. Genius isn't a gift anointed on a select few at birth. “Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration,” the inventor Thomas Edison famously proclaimed. Johnny Carson, the Tonight Show television host who gave an entire generation of comedians, everyone from Ellen DeGeneres to Jerry Seinfeld, their start by having them appear on his show, said, “Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready.”17 The more you keep track of your hard work in your journal the more your will start to internalize the fact that genius is not born, but created.
5 Learn and grow from the mistakes of others. Success is not about comparing yourself with others. But we can shorten our road to success by learning from the mistakes of others. Today, we live in a world where the vast majority of all of humanity's knowledge is just a few clicks away. Leverage that tremendous resource. Need help figuring out a new company, client, or industry? Reach out on LinkedIn to people who have been there before. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't want to share their knowledge and feel appreciated for what they have accomplished. And I have yet to meet someone who I can't learn from.The more you learn about the mistakes successful people have made along the way, the more willing you will become to take risks and try new ideas. I've run four person startups and managed companies with over 250,000 employees. For decades, I have instructed every person I hire that if they work for me for a year and don't make any mistakes, I will fire them. I do this to free them from being afraid to fail and therefore, afraid to venture outside of their comfort zone. Your business will never grow if your team has fixed mindsets.
6 Practice gratitude. Take time every evening when you are journaling and every morning when you first look in the mirror to practice gratitude. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar aptly noted, “People often say motivation doesn't last. Neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily.”18The antidote for self‐pity and negative thinking is gratitude. Find something in your life to be grateful for. You may not have a private jet, but be grateful for a roof over your ahead, food in your stomach, and the fortitude to continue executing on your goals. Start with the basic good manners of saying “thank you” when someone helps you, holds the elevator, or just interacts with you in any way. According to a study published in Emotion magazine, thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. (I didn't remember much about the first time that I met the woman who was to become my wife, but when I received a thank you note from her after our first meeting, my life changed forever.) Gratitude has been proven time and again to improve your physical health.19 Music industry impresario Ralph Simon, whose label Jive Records signed such acts as the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Janet Jackson, sends dozens of handwritten notes each week to his friends and colleagues no matter where in the world he is traveling. Even after 25 years of our dear friendship, I still light up when I get a note from Ralph.Feeling true gratitude silences all the negative emotions floating around in your head. Regret, envy, fear, and resentment lead to anger and depression. Remember the warning Yoda gave to young Luke Skywalker, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Gratitude enhances your health by reducing aggression. Just spending 15 minutes before you go to bed writing down what you are grateful for, according to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well‐Being, will enable you to have a deeper, more restful sleep.In the morning when you awake, you again have the opportunity to start your day with gratitude. I start each day, as I brush my teeth and shave, saying two affirmations to myself in the mirror, “Today can be better than yesterday, and I have the power to make it so.”A growth mindset is the one trait that separates achievers from failures. It gives you the outlook and perspective to see obstacles for what they really are: short‐term events that momentarily get in your way. From positivity and gratitude grow perseverance. Perseverance, by definition, makes you unstoppable.
Notes
1 1. “Who's Poor in the United States?” Institute for Policy Studies (2019), https://ips-dc.org/supplemental-poverty-measure/.
2 2. Alexa Lard, “Social Security to Exceed Income by 2020, Run Out by 2034,” April 22, 2019, www.usnews.com/news/politics/articles/2019-04-22/report-social-security-costs-to-exceed-income-by-2020-run-out-by-2034.