Leg over Leg. Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq

did no good. He tried, therefore, to wiggle his way out of this trade, and all the more so as he was by nature given to boredom and disquiet. During this period, it so happened that the August Master, Aḥmad Pasha, Honored Bāy of the Autonomous Province of Tunis, made a trip to France and distributed vast sums of money, that were everywhere spoken of, to the poor of Marseilles and Paris. Then he returned to his seat. It therefore occurred to the Fāriyāq to write him a congratulatory ode, which he did, sending it by hand with someone to deliver to His Excellency. Before only a few days had passed the captain of a warship knocked on his door. When he had come in and settled himself, he told the Fāriyāq, “Your ode has reached Our Most Noble Master and he has commanded me to bring you to him in my ship.”

      4.8.2

      فلما سمع ذلك استبشر بالفرج من حرفته وقال لعمرى ما كنت احسب ان الدهر ترك للشعر سوقا ينفق فيه * ولكن اذا اراد الله بعبد خيرا لم يعقه عنه الشعر ولا غيره * اَلا فَاهزقى يافارياقية المِهزاق * واسلُقى فما يضرنى اليوم اسلاق * ونفّجى ما اسطعت ان تنفّجى * وضرّجى وضمّجى ودبّجى * هذا يوم يعبق فيه المكتفَن * ويشبق فيه من وهن * ويشمق منه ذو الددن * ويفاز بالغدن * هذا يوم تستحسن فيه الرَّبوخ * ويُلقح فيه من به مُلوخ * وتتئم الجلهوب والسلقلق * وتُنجب الشريم ثم العَفْلق * هلمّى فاتخذى مذ اليوم ظيرا * فانى ارى فى الزند اِيرا * فقال الربّان وقد استعجم عليه الكلام ما هذه اللغة التى تتكلمون بها لعمر الله ما فهمت شيا مما قلتم * اهذا اللسان تحمل فى راسك الى تونس * وبهذه الالفاظ تخاطب سيدنا واهل الفضل من رجال دولته * قال لا وانما هذه لغة اصطلحنا عليها فلا نستعملها الا نادرا * فقال الربّان ينبغى ان تتاهّب الى السفر ولك ان تستصحب ايضا عائلتك اذا شئت * فان سيدنا اكرم الناس لا يسوٓءه ذلك * فتاهب الفارياق هو وعائلته وركبوا فى السفينة وبعد مسير اثنى عشر يوما والريح مخالفة كما جرت العادة بذلك بلغوا حلق الواد * فامر المولى المشار اليه بنزولهم فى دار امير البحر *

      When the Fāriyāq heard this, he took it as an omen that he was soon to be freed from his trade and declared, “I swear I thought the days had left no market where poetry might find a buyer, but if God wishes good fortune for His slave not even poetry can get in the way of it. Rictulate, dear risible Fāriyāqiyyah, and vociferate (though not in alarm)! Today not even she-wolves could do me harm! Dunk yourself in every ounce of unguent you possess; dab it and daub it, and take silk brocade for your dress! On such a day as this, our copulatorium must be redolent of musk—even its limpest occupant must experience lust! The giddy-pate, on such a day, must run amok and enjoy his luck! On such a day as this, the swooning prude¹⁰⁷ faints with pleasure, the stud that shies from service gives full measure, the wide-wooed woofer and back-passage bleeder¹⁰⁸ bear twins, the single-barreled bawd,¹⁰⁹ followed quickly by the termagant, throw pups despite their sins! Up with you, woman, and from today play the mooning she-camel that lives its false calf to lick, for I see curly shavings on the fire stick!”¹¹⁰ The captain, to whom these words sounded like a foreign tongue, asked, “What language is this that you speak? I swear I didn’t understand a word of what you said! Is this the tongue you’ll carry in your head to Tunis? Are these the words with which you will address our master and the great men of his realm?” “No,” replied the Fāriyāq. “It’s just a private language we’ve agreed on between ourselves and use only rarely.” The captain then said, “You must get ready to travel, and you may bring your family with you if you like, for our lord is the most generous of men and such a thing could never upset him.” So the Fāriyāq and his family got ready, embarked on the ship, and after a twelve-day voyage (the wind, as usual, being contrary), reached Ḥalq al-Wād, where the aforementioned master commanded that they be put up at the admiral’s house.

      4.8.3

      وهنا ينبغى ان نلاحظ مزية الكرم التى خص الله تعالى بها جيل العرب دون سائر الاجيال * وذلك ان استدعآ المولى الموما اليه لم يكن لجميع من دبّ ودرج بمنزل الفارياق بل كان خاصّا به وحده * الا انه لما بلغ مسامعه الكريمة قدوم مادحه باهله لم يستأ من ذلك ولم يقل ما اقلّ ادب هذا المدعو وما اصفق وجهه لقدومه علينا مزويا * ولم يقلْ لربّانه قد خالفت القوانين السياسيّة والاوامر الملوكية فلننزعنّ عن كتفيك هدّاب منصبك حتى تكون عبرة لمن اعتبر * بل بقى الربان متشرفا بهدّابه * والفارياق متمتعا باهدابه * وبوّئ اكرم مبوّأ فى دار امير البحر واجرى عليه الرزق الكريم * والخير العميم * ولو ان احد اعيان الافرنج دعا شخصا واتاه ذلك الشخص ومعه غير نفسه لجبهه عند اللقآ بل لم يكن ليلقاه قط * لا بل نساوهنّ لما كنّ يدعون الفارياقية كن يقلن لها انك انت المدعوة فقط اشارة الى عدم ازوائها بخادمتها وطفلها *

      Here we must draw attention to the propensity for generosity with which the Almighty has distinguished the Arabs to the exclusion of all other races, for the invitation of the previously mentioned master was not intended for everyone who trod the boards of the Fāriyāq’s house: on the contrary, it was peculiar to him alone. However, when news of the arrival of his eulogizer, with family, reached his ears, he was not upset and did not say, “What an ill-mannered guest you are and how deserving of a slap on the face for coming to us and bringing others with you!” Likewise, he didn’t say to his captain, “You disobeyed protocol and the orders of your monarch, so we shall strip from your shoulders the epaulettes of your rank that you be a warning to those who take heed!” On the contrary, the captain continued to bear the honor of his epaulettes while the Fāriyāq continued to enjoy his services and was lodged in the most generous style in the admiral’s house and supplied with ample goods and plentiful good things. If a Frankish notable invited someone and that person went and brought with him anyone but his own self, the notable would confront him when they met; in fact, he wouldn’t even meet with him at all. Indeed, when their womenfolk used to invite the Fāriyāqiyyah, they would tell her, “The invitation is for you only,” meaning that she was not to bring her maid and her child with her.

      4.8.4