“And I too, my lord and master, am a poor young laddie. I have come to see my father because he has told me that, on his way home, he entered your country, where the clement climate afflicted him with a malady that prevents him from moving. When my mother, who is also sick from the grief and care that have consumed her as a result of his long absence, learned of his illness, she sent me to him, in the hope that I might serve him and nurse him and his spirits then revive at the sight of me and recover, for when a sick father sees his son the latter takes the place of medicine.” “We’re not children’s nannies and our country’s no schoolhouse that they should come and go without paying a fee. Get on with you and show you’re a man by paying it right away . . .”
4.3.8
وانا ايضا ياعتادى وملاذى * وثمالى ومعاذى * وملجاى وملتحدى * وسندى ومعتمدى * وركحى وركنى * وعزّى وامنى * رجل من الشعرآ الادبآ كنت قد مدحت بعض امرآئنا الكرام بقصيدة فاجازنى عليها مئة دينار * فاشتريت بنصفها موٓنة لعيالى * ووفيت بربعها ما كنت استدنته لكسوتهم وبقى معى ربع * واذ سمعت بمحاسن مملكتكم الخصيبة البهية البهيجة وبما فيها من التحف والطُرف التى لا توجد فى بلادنا * رمت ان اسرّح ناظرى وانزه خاطرى فى هذا النعيم اياما قليلة * عسى ان يخطر ببالى عند رويته معان١ بديعة ما سبقنى اليها احد فاصوغ منها بادئ بدٓى مديحا بليغا فى جنابك الرفيع * ومقامك السنيع * وانشر الثنآ عليك فى جميع الاقطار * فى الليل والنهار * واجيد وصف مكارمك فى الاسفار – ما اكثر الشعرآ الغاوين العاوين فى بلادنا وما اكثر اقاويلهم واقل رزقهم * اما ان تدفع الغرامة واما ان ترجع على عقبك واما ان نؤويك الى دار المجانين *
١ ١٨٥٥: معانى.
“And I too—O my shield and my refuge, my succor and my resort, my haven and my shelter, my support and my prop, my foundation and my stay, my strength and my security—am a poet and man of letters who wrote a poem in praise of a certain emir, for which he granted me a hundred gold coins. With half of these I bought provisions for my family, with a quarter I covered what I needed to clothe them, and I have a quarter left. Having heard of the merits of your magnificent, splendid, fertile kingdom and of the treasures and curiosities that it contains, to be found in no other country, I desired to let my eyes roam and my mind saunter in the midst of this luxury for a few days. Who knows? Maybe on seeing it, brilliant tropes that no one has beaten me to will come to my mind and from them I shall fashion, before anything else, a brilliant eulogy in praise of your elevated position and gracious condition, broadcast praise of you in every clime, at every time, skillfully describe your noble qualities in books . . .” “How many a dilettantish and doleful poet we have in our country! How many are their writings and how little their income! Either you pay the fee, or you turn around and go home, or we consign you to the madhouse.”
4.3.9
ولكن هيهات ان تشرف مسامع المسترحم الحقير من سيده الجليل الخطير بمثل هذه الاجوبة السلبية * فان السلب من مقام الكبير منّة * وانما الغالب ان يكون جوابه برغم الانف او بالقفد * او باللكم على الخرطوم * او بهثم سن * او ببقر بطن * او باطنان ساق * او بانقاض ظهر * ولهذا لما عزم الفارياق على السفر وكان ممن لا يستغنى عن احد اعضآئه التمس من خمسة قناصل ان يشرفوا جَوازه بختومهم * فختم عليه كل من قنصل نابلى وليكورنه ومدينة اخرى فى مملكة البابا وقنصل جينوى وفرنسا * لان سفينة النار تمرّ على مراسى هذه المدن كلها وترسى فيها بعض ساعات * اما مدينة نابلى فهى مشهورة بكثرة ما فيها من العجلات والمراكب والحدائق والغياض * واما ليكورنه فبطيب هوائها وارتفاع بنائها وكذلك مدينة جينوى * قال وهى عندى احسن منهما * وانحس ما يكون مدينة البابا اذ ليس عليها رونق المُلك ولا الملكوت وما بها شى يقرّ العين *
Rarely, though, does the puissant, magnificent master honor the ears of the wretched pleader with the like of such negative responses, for mere negativity from the great is a boon. Usually it comes with humiliation and a slap to the back of the neck, a punch on the snout, the pulverizing of a tooth, the slitting open of a belly, the slicing off of a leg, or the snapping of a back. For this reason, the Fāriyāq, being one of those who couldn’t spare any of his limbs, when he resolved to travel, requested five consuls to honor his passport with their stamps. The consuls of Naples, Leghorn, and another city in the Papal States, as well as the consuls of Genoa and France stamped it, because the steamer passes by the ports of each of those cities and docks in them for a few hours. The city of Naples is famous for its numerous carriages, ships, gardens, and forests, Leghorn for the sweetness of its air and the height of its buildings, and the same holds true for the city of Genoa. The Fāriyāq said, “In my opinion, the last is better than the other two. The papal city is as disagreeable as can be, since it has none of the glamour of sovereignty or royalty and there is nothing in it to please the eye.”
4.3.10
فلما وصل الفارياق الى مرسيلية اُخذ صندوقه الى ديوان المكس واشير اليه ان يتبعه * ثم طلب منه المكّاسون ان يفتحوه ليفتشوه فظن انهم يريدون ان يفتشوا فى كراريسه ليعلموا ما فيها فقال * انا ما هجوت سلطانكم ولا مطرانكم فلمَ تفتشون فى كراريسى * فلم يفهمه احد منهم وهو لم يفهم