So Beth put her hand to the wall and made herself breathe slowly in and slowly out. She bowed her head for one moment, keeping an ear out for the sound of Jamie’s—Eric’s—door opening behind her.
But he didn’t follow her, and Beth calmed down, and when she opened her eyes she was steady enough to walk. There were two men on the far side of the kitchen, and they watched her as if they feared she might snap at them like a mad dog. She ignored them, and was reaching for the double doors when they swung inward.
She stopped short, clasping her hands to her chest. It was him. The man who was really named Jamie. And it was all so obvious in that moment. This man was the Jamie Donovan she’d heard rumors about. He was handsome and roguish-looking, and she could perfectly picture him wearing a kilt and flirting as he delivered beers to customers. Eric, on the other hand, looked like a man who never bothered with flirting. If he wanted you, he wanted you; it was as simple as that. It certainly had been the night they’d met in his room.
“Hey,” the real Jamie said, his eyes looking down the hall for a moment before refocusing on her. “Is everything okay?”
She almost laughed. Sure, everything was just great. Except that she’d been betrayed and used and made a fool of. Her cheeks warmed. “I just want to go,” she said, hugging her arms to her chest.
“Oh. Sure. I’m just sorry about the…” His eyes darted toward the offices again. “Confusion,” he finished weakly.
“Confusion. Right.” She wanted to smile, to pretend it was no big deal, but instead she found herself blinking back tears. “Sorry I yelled at you earlier,” she said quickly. “I was a little surprised.”
She brushed past him and started to push through the doors, but he turned and held out a hand to stop her. “Do you want to go through the back?”
She froze. At this point, she could only pray she didn’t know any of the customers who’d so eagerly watched the argument. What if she walked toward the front doors and a friend stopped her for more details? “Thank you. The back door would be perfect.”
He walked her to a steel door set into the far wall, but when he opened it to let her out, he kept walking with her. She hid her look of irritation, and simply stared straight ahead. “You don’t need to keep me company.”
“I just want to be sure you’re okay.”
“I am,” she said, but it was a moot point now. They were already in the parking lot. He looked like he wanted to say more, but there was nothing else she wanted to hear. She never wanted to see any of these people again.
She beeped open the door on her car. “Thank you,” she said, then slipped inside. She started the car immediately, but when he simply stood there, she gave an impatient wave.
By the time he walked away, it was all beginning to sink in.
How had she let this happen to herself? It was as if she’d been the butt of some fraternity-boy joke. I’ll pretend to be my brother to get her into bed.
She meant to pull the car out right away, but her face was so hot she had to press her cool fingers to her cheeks. Her stomach rolled with sickness. She’d been proud of her fling before this. It had been exactly the sort of brave and selfish pleasure she’d wanted for years.
And now it was nothing. Less than nothing. It was a scar on her pride. It was humiliation. Why had he done that to her?
“It doesn’t matter,” Beth told herself. “It doesn’t.”
She didn’t believe it, but somehow the words helped her calm down. Or just the sound of her own voice, solid and strong.
Whether it mattered or not, it was done. And she’d never see Eric or Jamie Donovan again, thank God.
ERIC HEARD HIS BROTHER’S footsteps long before Jamie got to his office. And that said a lot about Jamie’s mood; these floors were solid concrete.
Pushing to his feet, Eric told himself he was ready for this, but he still ground his teeth together when the door flew open and banged a tall filing cabinet. “What the fuck?” Jamie ground out.
“I know. It looks bad.”
“It looks bad? It looks like you used my name to get a woman into bed. But you’d never do something that sleazy, would you?”
Eric swallowed and didn’t answer the question.
Jamie leaned forward and put his fists on the desk. His eyes blazed with fury. “Would you, Eric?”
“It was a mix-up,” he managed to answer, trying to control the fury rising up from his guilt.
“You fucking bastard,” Jamie growled.
“Listen, Jamie—”
“I’m not listening to shit. This is… Christ, I wouldn’t have expected this from anyone I know, much less you.”
Eric clenched his hands and pressed a fist to his forehead. He’d never been in this position before. He was the brother who did the lecturing. Who demanded answers. Who did the right thing for his family. He wasn’t the one who had to be ashamed.
Except that now he was, and Eric felt as if he’d explode from the frustration. And the regret. “It wasn’t like that,” he tried again. “She called me by the wrong name, and I didn’t correct her. And then…I’d let it go too long. It seemed like it wouldn’t hurt anything to let it stand.”
“Jesus, are you kidding me? You can’t see what it would hurt to have a woman out there who thought she’d slept with me?”
Eric answered honestly, realizing it was a mistake even as he let it happen. “I didn’t think it would make much of a difference. You’ve slept with a lot of women.”
Jamie’s hand was a blur when it shot out and grabbed Eric’s shirt. “First of all, fuck you. Second, that woman is a stranger to me, so don’t let yourself think I’m honored she thinks I did her. Third, I have a girlfriend, in case you hadn’t noticed. You could have screwed up a lot of things for me.”
“It was months ago,” Eric said.
Jamie’s sneer let him know that wasn’t quite the point. “Have you done this before?”
“No!”
Eric sat back in his chair when Jamie let him go. He watched his brother pace the short distance to the door and then back again. “Why would you do this?”
“I didn’t use your name to trick her into anything. We…we had a connection. Chemistry. But she thought I was you. A carefree, easygoing bachelor. A guy who could offer no-strings-attached fun. So I used your reputation as…permission.”
“That’s so damn ironic it hurts.” His laugh certainly sounded as if it was jagged with pain. Eric cringed.
“You’ve spent your whole life telling me I was doing the wrong things. For years, you’ve basically said I was a no-good, irresponsible jackass.”
Eric pushed to his feet. “That’s not true. I—”
“And then you turn around and use my name to fuck around?”
“Jamie…” Eric’s thoughts had scattered. He didn’t know what to say. It had seemed harmless at the time. A little white lie.
Jamie pointed his finger at Eric as if it was a weapon. “If you ever, ever throw my past in my face again, I swear to God, I’ll make you sorry.”
He already was sorry. “Jamie—” But Jamie just turned and slammed out of the office, leaving Eric standing there, his lips still parted.
Jesus Christ. He lowered himself slowly to his chair, his chest tightening until he couldn’t draw a breath.
It had been only six