“Me, too.” And she was. When she wasn’t thinking about Jamie, she could imagine this man being her lover. She knew from experience that a first kiss said a lot about how a man would perform in bed. For example, that guy two years ago who’d immediately thrust his tongue down her throat…that had been his level of restraint and subtlety during sex, as well. Foreplay had been something along the lines of “Brace yourself, I’m coming in!”
But Davis…he might be quite lovely.
“I admit, though…” He started the car and glanced at her. “You weren’t quite what I was expecting.”
Her warm thoughts froze. “What do you mean?”
“Well, with the store and the advice column, and…you know. Cairo and the rest of her friends are…”
Beth knew exactly where this was going. She smoothed a hand down her skirt and hid a resigned smile.
“I just haven’t dated a woman with no tattoos in quite a while. You’re kind of a rarity here in Boulder.”
She managed a genuine laugh at that. He was straightforward, at least. She turned her gaze on him and let it slide over his body. He was older than most of Cairo’s friends, and a little alternative without being sloppy. Dark jeans and an expensive-looking T-shirt under a tailored leather jacket. And though she could see the edges of a few tattoos peaking past his clothing, not even his ears were pierced. Though there were always hidden spots.
“I get that a lot,” she finally said, offering him the same honesty he’d given her. “I’m not what anyone expects, I guess.” Even though she said it with a flirtatious smile, the words still squeezed her heart with a painful grip.
“I don’t mind being surprised,” Davis answered.
It was the right answer, and she liked him, but as he pulled away from the parking lot of the bar and turned toward Beth’s part of town, her heart sank. She wasn’t what he’d expected. She never was. And she could already see how this would end. He liked her well enough. He was intrigued by her. After all, she was the manager of the White Orchid, a high-end erotic boutique. She might look like any other professional businesswoman, but she spent her days selling sex toys and expensive lingerie. And she spent her evenings giving sex education classes and writing a new advice column as a sex expert.
On the surface, she was fascinating. But underneath it all…
Beth wrapped her hands tight around her purse and tried not to think. She always thought too much. The only time she’d ever been able to turn her brain off had been with…him.
It had been easy to dismiss her thoughts of him on previous dates. She hadn’t been attracted to any of those men, so naturally, she’d thought of Jamie. But now he was haunting her good dates, too, and she was beginning to feel a little hopeless.
“I’m glad I didn’t pick you up on the bike tonight,” Davis said. “Running through the rain is one thing, but it can be brutal on a bike.”
She pictured Davis in his leather coat, leaning close against a motorcycle, her arms wrapped around his waist. The picture should leave her shivery. It would any other red-blooded woman.
Davis pulled into her driveway and shut off the car to come around and open her door. He might have been raised by hipster Boulderites, but he had been taught the niceties of dating. There was nothing wrong with this man. And there was definitely nothing wrong with the way he kissed her once they were safe beneath the shelter of her patio. “You’re all wet again,” he murmured, his mouth sliding against the rain on her lips. Maybe she could be, if she let herself give in. So when his mouth urged hers to open, Beth touched her tongue to his. And what a nice tongue it was. Warm and slow against hers.
Beth kissed him and thought of inviting him in. He tasted so good. He was tall and cute and, as far as she could tell, he’d look great naked. His hand touched her hip, his fingers spreading along her curves as he deepened the kiss.
Yes, she could let him touch her. She’d enjoy it. And probably he’d enjoy it, too. But she wasn’t a girl with tattoos. And she had no hidden piercings. And despite what she wrote in her columns, the things she liked to do in bed were just as vanilla as everything else about her.
So he’d enjoy it, but he’d also be secretly puzzled. They all were. Wasn’t the manager of an erotic boutique supposed to be…erotic? Wasn’t she supposed to be a little freaky in bed? Or even better…a lot freaky? Shouldn’t she be better than other women?
Beth clenched her eyes shut and tried to turn off her brain, but it didn’t work. It never did. She was too aware. Aware of the way his fingers tightened a bit on her hip. He was getting into this. Getting aroused. And she was just…thinking. Again.
She broke the kiss and drew in a deep breath. “Thank you, Davis. I really had a nice time.”
His hand stayed on her hip. “Me, too.” He waited one heartbeat, then two, giving her a chance to invite him in.
She couldn’t do it. Not tonight, with the thought of Jamie so close at hand. There was no doubt how it would turn out. She’d be thinking the whole time, comparing him to Jamie, comparing herself to who she’d been that night six months ago.
She had to find that again, but it wasn’t going to happen tonight. Not with Davis. “Thanks,” she said again.
His hand finally slid away and Davis stepped back, looking only slightly disappointed. “I’ll call you. Maybe we’ll dare more next time. Dinner?”
“Maybe,” she said coyly, offering a quick kiss on his cheek before she escaped into her apartment.
Beth set her purse on the table, then hung up her coat in the hall closet. Her apartment was so quiet and so palpably solitary, that she was already regretting sending Davis away as she walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. She’d lied to him about that. One glass of beer hadn’t been enough. She should have had three, and then maybe she would have been brave enough to let him in. She could’ve tried to lose herself. It wasn’t impossible.
It was in her somewhere, and it couldn’t just be about one man. Beth wouldn’t let it be.
BY THE NEXT DAY, BETH WAS thoroughly pissed at herself. One minute with him, one glimpse, one touch, and she couldn’t get the man out of her mind. And the worst part was, it was becoming more and more obvious to her that he’d been desperate to get her out of there. First, he’d edged her farther down the hall, then he’d jumped at the chance to say goodbye as quickly as possible.
He was in a relationship. Which was fine. But what if he was married? What if he’d been married then?
Her heart thumped so hard at the thought that she had to press her palm to her chest. That would explain everything, wouldn’t it?
She tried to put it from her mind as she walked into the shop and waved to Cairo. She tried not to think about it as she unboxed the newest toys and put them on display. But as she unboxed the high-tech vibrator and showed Cairo how it plugged into an MP3 player to thump in time to one’s favorite music, Beth couldn’t stop the thoughts swarming through her head.
“Cairo?”
Cairo was busy scrolling through songs on her phone, trying to find something with just the right beat. “Yeah?”
“I was at Donovan Brothers last night and—”
“Oh!” Cairo looked up with a big smile on her face. “I forgot to ask how your date went.”
“My date?”
“With Davis!”
“Oh. Great!” Beth nodded with too much enthusiasm. “Yeah, it was wonderful!”