Learn, practice, get feedback; learn, practice, get feedback; and learn again. That's how you develop any set of skills, whether it's networking, playing the piano, learning a language, boxing, or whatever it is you're looking to do.
Get busy, get good. Rinse, repeat.
CHAPTER 2 What Is Networking?: Having a Networking Mindset
“Networking and humility are cut from the same cloth: They both are not centered around thinking less of yourself but rather rooted in thinking of yourself less. Focus on others; it's about them, not about YOU!”
—Ed Deutschlander, CEO, North Star Resource Group
A big part of a boxer's fight plan when training for a fight is to stay focused. That's why boxers hire trainers, conditioning coaches, and chefs, and keep family around them as part of their training team. Successful boxing is all about staying focused on doing the right thing the right way.
Stay focused on the mitts. Sparring. Road work. Diet. Training. Rest. Your opponent. Jab, jab!
What a way to make a living!
Being a successful networker requires almost as much focus. And understanding why you're looking to meet total strangers at a networking event is important. There are very good reasons to network. By understanding those reasons and being able to explain them to those you know and those you have yet to meet, the more effective you will be.
Six Reasons for Networking
There are really only six reasons (or purposes) for networking. There are many benefits, but it's important to be clear on your purpose so it's easier for those you meet to help you.
Growing Your Business
More prospects, more referrals, more business! That's probably why most of you are reading this book. Networking is absolutely one of the best ways (if not the very best way) to grow most businesses, especially if you're a financial advisor or looking to sell some other product or service. It may seem obvious to you, but when attending events or even posting on social media (if growing your business is your purpose), you have to be clear about why you're doing what you're doing.
Growing your business can mean a lot of different things.
If growing your business means more sales production, it's important to be clear about what that means. What are you selling? Is it a product or service? Are you retail or wholesale? Are you selling directly to individuals you're looking to meet or looking to be referred to through some other channel? Growing your business could mean growing your staff. You might be in the market to recruit financial advisors (or other types of sales producers) to your firm. That's a different type of sale. In fact, I'm surprised that more sales managers don't put more of an emphasis on networking to grow their sales teams. It's what I would be doing if I was serious about growing and keeping my sales team. (I'll be discussing best practices around recruiting in a later chapter.)
There are other mini reasons for networking that I would put in this category. Activities and initiatives around fundraising, participating in an event or a race, lobbying for an important cause, and volunteering your time to lend a hand are very rewarding and fulfilling. These are, of course, great things to do. Not to take anything away from doing something nice like raising money and volunteering your time, but if your reason for helping is to get more visibility to ultimately sell more of your product or service, you're putting forth your effort to grow your business. This is not necessarily good or bad, right or wrong. It is what it is – just context.
Landing a Job
According to the outplacement firm Lee Hecht Harrison, 76% of job searchers are generating interviews through networking. Not bad! But not enough job searchers are doing a good enough job networking. I know this firsthand.
Over the years, I've volunteered a lot of my time to organizations focused on job search, through the Department of Labor, Jewish Vocational Services, and many other independent initiatives around the country. I absolutely love the work and have a passion for helping job searchers. I've given away a lot of books, coaching calls, and time spent in delivering seminars and workshops. But very few job searchers follow through on what they need to do to be effective at networking and generating more interviews. There are a lot of reasons.
Job searchers don't necessarily want to be skilled at networking. It's not that they signed up to be financial advisors and that networking was simply part of the deal. They just want to get back to work. Once most job searchers land their job, they never want to see the inside of a networking event ever again.
Can you blame them? And depression, emotional upset, lack of confidence, and self‐worth issues are often connected to those in job search mode.
There's a lot going on here, so networking for job searchers often has to be very rooted around confidence building, structure, focus, accountability, measurement, positive reinforcement, recognition, and accountability (did I say that already?).
Social Reasons
There is often a social component to most networking events, association meetings, chamber mixers, and cocktail parties. But again, what is your overall reason for being there? If it's a business event, it's perfectly fine to have fun and enjoy yourself, of course. But if you're there to promote your business, advance your career, or land a job, just be clear about that.
If you're truly attending an event because you want to schmooze with people you work with, there might be some networking happening but probably not very much, unless you're looking to accomplish something as a result beyond having a few laughs.
But if your purpose for attending an event is to make friends, potentially meet someone to date, or maybe find the love of your life, then you're there for social reasons. With all of the dating websites, there probably aren't as many live networking organizations and speed dating events as there used to be, but they're still out there.
Again, with social reasons in mind, be very clear about who you're looking to meet, why you're looking to meet them, and about setting the right expectations.
Learning
Often your desire to learn is connected to a business reason and might overlap into growing your business or landing a job as the “real reason” you're there, which is perfectly fine. That said, what are you looking to learn? Is it beyond learning about business opportunities? Are you truly looking to learn about a trend? An industry? Profession? Market segment? Niche? Dynamic? Geography?
Are you in the right place and in a position to meet the right people?
If you're attending an event to learn, it's best to be prepared with lots of questions. The best way to learn when you're attending an event that's not designed to teach (like a seminar or class) is to ask questions. If you are prepared with questions, you'll have plenty to talk about when you meet people. In fact, you can even have some of your questions written down on index cards or in your phone so you can be intentional about asking them.
The people you meet will love that and be impressed by your preparation, interest, and effort – all the more reason that they'll connect with you, like you, and help you.
I know it probably goes without saying, but those who are willing to teach you and help you deserve to be thanked. Make sure you follow up the day after you meet them with an email or, even better, a handwritten card. Remember, these are connections you may want to stay in touch with, because you never know how you might help one another in the future.
It's a very special kind of connection when someone is truly helping you because they like you and are impressed with your passion. They often think about when they got started in the business or tried something new like you